God is not shocked by our disfunction, inability to perform perfection, and lack of wisdom in situations. We often forget that we are children, grown-ups who have a long ways to go and who won't ever reach our full potential on this side of time. If you are a little (or a lot) competitive in nature like me, it becomes very difficult to live out of a place of child-likeness. In thinking that I am strong enough to make things happen in and among myself causes a lot of extra problems in my life that could be avoided if I would learn the lesson of leaning and depending in God. God has a way of setting up perfect situations for us to learn. He is dedicated to us becoming who we are meant to become, even if it means bringing brokeness by His kindness in allowing things to happen that will change us.
Just this morning I found myself again face to face with how weak I really am. The Lord is so gracious to shine his light on our hearts, especially when we feel we are making more progress than we really are. The fact that we are keeping tabs in progress is what the lord wants to change in us, or me anyways. If my heart could just learn to rest and quit analyzing my own condition, whether good or bad! There is a beautiful place in God of knowing who you are, yet saying yes to Him without shame. It is about taking a posture of humility and servanthood.
So this morning as I bawled and complained before God at the many ways He needs to change my heart and how He can't use me until I'm "better," He made me bawl even more at His response. I felt Him smile over me and reassure me that He is in this thing with me for the long haul. He is WILLING to help me. He says yes to the process in my life and is patient with me. As Misty Edwards sings about Him, "he knew what he was getting into when he saw me." He isn't shocked by our immaturity. He doesn't forget we are children, learning along the way! So I am ok....even though I do have a long ways to go. Im ok! The desire to please Him weighs a lot more than the mistakes we make along the way.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Friendship...Learning to Carry His Heart for Others
As I get older, I love friendship more and more. I think it’s probably because I realize the value of it. I know that if a person has a few people they can truly call their friends in a lifetime, they are blessed. I’ve been on a journey of learning about what it means to be a friend. There have been a few key people in my life that have taught me how to be a friend. I have learned to open my heart in honesty and sincerity, to be one that communicates, and one that listens. I wasn’t good at any of that. I still struggle with it now, but have come a really long ways! I’m still learning and am blessed to have true friends that I can learn from.
I believe a true friend is not just someone that you can have a good time with, although this is certainly true. I think we limit it to this definition when there is so much more that our hearts were made for in the subject of friendship. I believe true friends have the privilege of going on a lifetime journey of getting to know the other person, seeing how the Lord sees them, and helping them to become that person. The Lord wants to speak to us about our friends. He wants to partner with us so we know His heart for each other. I am a better friend when I carry His heart. It is when we share the actual emotions of His heart for someone else that we can know the intimacy of friendship. Do we know how powerful it is to actually know what God thinks of another? To not only know His thoughts, but communicate them to someone? This is available to us – He is ready and willing to speak to us about other people in our lives. May we begin to ask Him what His thoughts are concerning others.
Oh how the Lord must love friendship. Hidden in the chambers of His heart is a love and longing for friendship. God is so affectionate. His emotions are so pure and undefiled that nothing earthly can compare to the endless flow of love and affection that flows from His heart. He is calling us to take hold of this part of His nature and He is most willing to teach us. He wants us to experience the full measure of friendship on the earth. It is a part of Him – and we are meant to walk in it because we were made in His image.
All of the baggage that comes from the past is not enough for God to be unwilling to teach us how to be vulnerable to each other. He will teach us to open our hearts when all we’ve had is others crush us in the past. Although we won’t be perfect at it, He will give us grace to walk this gift out called friendship. May we experience ALL that we are meant to…and friendship being one of the many experiences God wants to give us!
I believe a true friend is not just someone that you can have a good time with, although this is certainly true. I think we limit it to this definition when there is so much more that our hearts were made for in the subject of friendship. I believe true friends have the privilege of going on a lifetime journey of getting to know the other person, seeing how the Lord sees them, and helping them to become that person. The Lord wants to speak to us about our friends. He wants to partner with us so we know His heart for each other. I am a better friend when I carry His heart. It is when we share the actual emotions of His heart for someone else that we can know the intimacy of friendship. Do we know how powerful it is to actually know what God thinks of another? To not only know His thoughts, but communicate them to someone? This is available to us – He is ready and willing to speak to us about other people in our lives. May we begin to ask Him what His thoughts are concerning others.
Oh how the Lord must love friendship. Hidden in the chambers of His heart is a love and longing for friendship. God is so affectionate. His emotions are so pure and undefiled that nothing earthly can compare to the endless flow of love and affection that flows from His heart. He is calling us to take hold of this part of His nature and He is most willing to teach us. He wants us to experience the full measure of friendship on the earth. It is a part of Him – and we are meant to walk in it because we were made in His image.
All of the baggage that comes from the past is not enough for God to be unwilling to teach us how to be vulnerable to each other. He will teach us to open our hearts when all we’ve had is others crush us in the past. Although we won’t be perfect at it, He will give us grace to walk this gift out called friendship. May we experience ALL that we are meant to…and friendship being one of the many experiences God wants to give us!
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Identity - Choosing to Belileve What He Says About You
I’m so stirred after watching Shelly Hundley preach at the One Thing Conference online. Her story is amazing and such a picture of the Lord’s power to deliver anyone from the strongest bondages. She talked about how she had places in her heart that no one could reach. After counseling and getting professional help, she came to the decision that suicide was the answer. No one could reach the place of pain that was inside of her. After years of abuse in her childhood, she was ready to call it quits when she was 19. She goes on to say how the Lord, the God who sits in the heavens and over the earth, has the ability to reach in and bring wholeness to the parts that no one else can reach. It’s amazing that the Lord not only heals us, but understands us so completely and sees every part of us. No one can see the inside of us. No one can know our thoughts or fears. But He does.
She talked about the importance of filling our hearts and minds on the love of God. When we get in a rut, to “shake off the dust” (Isaiah 52:2) and rise up from the place of allowing things to trample us (our pasts, thoughts etc.). God has called us to walk in the truth of who we are in Him. And, if you are like me, there are times when sitting in the dust seems to be easiest. When all of the strength I once had in the Lord is gone and all I can do it sit and be trampled on. In that place hope seems to be very distant. But the Lord is calling to me, and everyone else who feels they are sitting in the dust, and saying “shake off the dust and arise.” Begin to walk in truth again and feed our hearts and minds on who we are in the Lord, not what people have called us or the opinion of others. Break out of the old habits and come into the place the Lord has made for you – a place of rest and confidence that what He says about you is true. Good stuff, Shelly.
I’m old enough now that I realize life with the Lord is not making one decision to serve Him and that’s it. It’s saying yes to Him again, and again, and again. I think a lot of people give up on the process He takes us through because they don’t always feel strong. The key word is PROCESS and it happens to be life long. When they make a wrong choice or choose a not so great path, they don’t feel like they can come back to the place they used to be in the Lord. Life is about what we do when we make mistakes. And that is what brings greatness – what we do when we make mistakes, not that we never make them. And what we do in that place is based on how we view God. I once thought He was mad and disappointed. Therefore, I wasn’t about to go to Him in my weakness. Heck no, I don’t want a spanking. But as I set my heart on the Word and truth of how He feels about me, my emotions towards Him changed. There are most certainly days that I still struggle in my identity – sometimes I’m my worst enemy. But in knowing that He calls me by a different “name,” the delight of His heart, it causes me to come to Him when I feel weak. The fact that He is safe and He is for me brings much relief to me. And He cares about me. And He smiles a lot. And He is happy…and loves me.
She talked about the importance of filling our hearts and minds on the love of God. When we get in a rut, to “shake off the dust” (Isaiah 52:2) and rise up from the place of allowing things to trample us (our pasts, thoughts etc.). God has called us to walk in the truth of who we are in Him. And, if you are like me, there are times when sitting in the dust seems to be easiest. When all of the strength I once had in the Lord is gone and all I can do it sit and be trampled on. In that place hope seems to be very distant. But the Lord is calling to me, and everyone else who feels they are sitting in the dust, and saying “shake off the dust and arise.” Begin to walk in truth again and feed our hearts and minds on who we are in the Lord, not what people have called us or the opinion of others. Break out of the old habits and come into the place the Lord has made for you – a place of rest and confidence that what He says about you is true. Good stuff, Shelly.
I’m old enough now that I realize life with the Lord is not making one decision to serve Him and that’s it. It’s saying yes to Him again, and again, and again. I think a lot of people give up on the process He takes us through because they don’t always feel strong. The key word is PROCESS and it happens to be life long. When they make a wrong choice or choose a not so great path, they don’t feel like they can come back to the place they used to be in the Lord. Life is about what we do when we make mistakes. And that is what brings greatness – what we do when we make mistakes, not that we never make them. And what we do in that place is based on how we view God. I once thought He was mad and disappointed. Therefore, I wasn’t about to go to Him in my weakness. Heck no, I don’t want a spanking. But as I set my heart on the Word and truth of how He feels about me, my emotions towards Him changed. There are most certainly days that I still struggle in my identity – sometimes I’m my worst enemy. But in knowing that He calls me by a different “name,” the delight of His heart, it causes me to come to Him when I feel weak. The fact that He is safe and He is for me brings much relief to me. And He cares about me. And He smiles a lot. And He is happy…and loves me.
Saturday, December 11, 2010
Agreeing With God's Heart and Leadership!
There are a lot of different tangents I could go off on when talking about the subject of agreement. Mostly, we hear about the importance of agreement in prayer – having another person to stand with us in agreement believing the Lord for something. And that is so important - agreeing with each other in prayer. We don’t, as often, consider the Lord’s heart as one who is looking for someone to agree with Him. I believe this is a key to pursuing and having a more intimate relationship and partnership with Him. In better terms, God is looking for friends.
The best example I can think of when thinking about partnership is the relationship between a wife and husband. If they are not in agreement on key issues, it’s just not going to work. It doesn’t mean one is controlling or manipulating the other. There is a freedom for both husband and wife to have their own personality. Yet, it is vitally important for them to have the same values when it comes to making decisions in their lives. That is what the Lord is wanting – that we would have His values – to really partner with Him. He doesn’t want our relationship to be like a master/slave relationship, to where we don’t have a brain. He wants to hear our hearts and He wants to communicate back with us. We can speak our wants and desires to Him, and He wants to share the secrets of His hearts with us. A lot of times we are really good at talking to Him, but listening is a lot harder. He has so much He wants to tell you about your personal life and everything that is involved with it! Do you see how this type of relationship is a two way, not one way type of relationship? We walk with Him together in partnership. Yes, we can have this kind of friendship with God. It’s not limited to the pastor, worship leader, or person on the stage on Sunday mornings (thank goodness). It’s for every grandma, child, full-time worker, and homeless person. It’s for anyone. And everyone! It’s for the person who has made a lot of mistakes and for the person that has a lot of ugly issues. It’s for the poor, the rich, and everyone in between! His heart is big enough for all of us and He really is wanting friends!
This kind of friendship with God does not happen automatically. It takes work. It takes discipline. It takes time. It’s not always easy for us to quiet our hearts enough to actually listen to His goals, His thoughts, and His leadership strategies (or just for His whispers of "I love you"). We are quick to jump into what we think is best (so many times He does bless this!), when He is wanting us to stop and listen to what He would have us do. It’s leaning upon His wisdom, His guidance, His timing, and His judgments on decisions in our lives. It’s about trusting Him and knowing He is good. And it’s not easy, but it is key to partnership with Him and living under His leadership. He is the perfect and best leader!
Not only does He want us to stop, listen, and agree with His plans for our lives, but also with His thoughts and emotions towards us as well as those around us. It’s nothing magical or overly spiritual. It’s simple. He wants us to agree with Him and believe that we are loved and wanted by Him. He wants us to agree with Him that He loves to hear our voice and He wants us to come near to Him. He wants us to agree with Him that we are never alone. He wants us to agree with His heart that He is not disappointed with us or mad at us. Sometimes when I am in a rut, I make myself say it outloud, "I AM YOUR FAVORITE. I AM SO LOVED BY YOU. I AM BEAUTIFU TO YOU. YOUR HEART IS FOR ME. I AM THE APPLE OF YOUR EYE." Sometimes it takes awhile to break through, but sooner or later the heaviness lifts and my heart experiences His pleasure over me again. Peace comes. The accuser wants us to stay in that place of yuckiness when the Lord has a better place for us - the place of experiencing His pleasure over our lives. The words that come out of our mouth does take root in our hearts. Begin to proclaim truth out of your mouth. Pray it. Sing it. Read it. Write it. Tell it.
Then, He wants us to agree with His heart about someone else. This is the most powerful thing on the earth – to agree with God’s heart about someone else. It’s powerful because how God views us is amazingly different than we view ourselves and how we view others. He loves differently. If we can fill our hearts and minds on the love of the Father about ourselves, He will surely give us a bit of His heart for others. In doing so, we can be His hand and heart extended to another. When we agree with God about ourselves, we will be the most confident, yet humble people on the earth. Why? Because we are not ignorant of our humanity. We know that we are all a little disfunctional. And when we realize that God sees that, and HE STILL LOVES US EXTRAVAGANTLY, we can't help but have a meek and humble heart before this kind of God. He wants us to be confident and in agreement with Him about ourselves, and then about others. Bottom line - God wants friendship. God wants friendship with YOU!
The best example I can think of when thinking about partnership is the relationship between a wife and husband. If they are not in agreement on key issues, it’s just not going to work. It doesn’t mean one is controlling or manipulating the other. There is a freedom for both husband and wife to have their own personality. Yet, it is vitally important for them to have the same values when it comes to making decisions in their lives. That is what the Lord is wanting – that we would have His values – to really partner with Him. He doesn’t want our relationship to be like a master/slave relationship, to where we don’t have a brain. He wants to hear our hearts and He wants to communicate back with us. We can speak our wants and desires to Him, and He wants to share the secrets of His hearts with us. A lot of times we are really good at talking to Him, but listening is a lot harder. He has so much He wants to tell you about your personal life and everything that is involved with it! Do you see how this type of relationship is a two way, not one way type of relationship? We walk with Him together in partnership. Yes, we can have this kind of friendship with God. It’s not limited to the pastor, worship leader, or person on the stage on Sunday mornings (thank goodness). It’s for every grandma, child, full-time worker, and homeless person. It’s for anyone. And everyone! It’s for the person who has made a lot of mistakes and for the person that has a lot of ugly issues. It’s for the poor, the rich, and everyone in between! His heart is big enough for all of us and He really is wanting friends!
This kind of friendship with God does not happen automatically. It takes work. It takes discipline. It takes time. It’s not always easy for us to quiet our hearts enough to actually listen to His goals, His thoughts, and His leadership strategies (or just for His whispers of "I love you"). We are quick to jump into what we think is best (so many times He does bless this!), when He is wanting us to stop and listen to what He would have us do. It’s leaning upon His wisdom, His guidance, His timing, and His judgments on decisions in our lives. It’s about trusting Him and knowing He is good. And it’s not easy, but it is key to partnership with Him and living under His leadership. He is the perfect and best leader!
Not only does He want us to stop, listen, and agree with His plans for our lives, but also with His thoughts and emotions towards us as well as those around us. It’s nothing magical or overly spiritual. It’s simple. He wants us to agree with Him and believe that we are loved and wanted by Him. He wants us to agree with Him that He loves to hear our voice and He wants us to come near to Him. He wants us to agree with Him that we are never alone. He wants us to agree with His heart that He is not disappointed with us or mad at us. Sometimes when I am in a rut, I make myself say it outloud, "I AM YOUR FAVORITE. I AM SO LOVED BY YOU. I AM BEAUTIFU TO YOU. YOUR HEART IS FOR ME. I AM THE APPLE OF YOUR EYE." Sometimes it takes awhile to break through, but sooner or later the heaviness lifts and my heart experiences His pleasure over me again. Peace comes. The accuser wants us to stay in that place of yuckiness when the Lord has a better place for us - the place of experiencing His pleasure over our lives. The words that come out of our mouth does take root in our hearts. Begin to proclaim truth out of your mouth. Pray it. Sing it. Read it. Write it. Tell it.
Then, He wants us to agree with His heart about someone else. This is the most powerful thing on the earth – to agree with God’s heart about someone else. It’s powerful because how God views us is amazingly different than we view ourselves and how we view others. He loves differently. If we can fill our hearts and minds on the love of the Father about ourselves, He will surely give us a bit of His heart for others. In doing so, we can be His hand and heart extended to another. When we agree with God about ourselves, we will be the most confident, yet humble people on the earth. Why? Because we are not ignorant of our humanity. We know that we are all a little disfunctional. And when we realize that God sees that, and HE STILL LOVES US EXTRAVAGANTLY, we can't help but have a meek and humble heart before this kind of God. He wants us to be confident and in agreement with Him about ourselves, and then about others. Bottom line - God wants friendship. God wants friendship with YOU!
Saturday, August 21, 2010
A Home for the Hurting
I would like to write a few thoughts on the depth of love our incredible Father has for us. Can I just say how much His love has changed my life? I mean, to be able to say with your mouth about His love is one thing, but when He has completely all together changed the INSIDE of you, there seems to be a validity to what otherwise would be just words. Oh to know fully His unending tenderness, His unyielding passion and adoration towards us, and His words that can pierce any broken or hurting heart and bring healing. What can one do but cry a million tears at the feet of this beautiful God. Only to feel His gentle hand wipe away every one. He is a servant. Not to the rich or the powerful, but to the broken. To the hurting. To the poor. To those in need of someone to care for them. It is to this one that He opens wide His heart, extends His embrace of endless love, and holds them close to Him until every wound is completely covered and healed by the words of one who understands exactly where we have been, what we have been through, and where we are going. He has prepared a home for us in His heart. He offers a home to the one who has never had another speak kindly to them, the one who has never known a safe place, and to the one whose trust has been broken again and again. It is in His heart that we find who we are -- that we are truly loved and wanted by another. He brings value to us, sets His seal of ownership on us, and has said with all the authority that is in His Kingship that WE ARE HIS. In a world where most are trying to find a place to belong, He beckons us to come and drink freely of the endless supply of healing, love, and acceptance. This is what He loves to do - take the broken places in our lives and gently redeem every part. He sees us differently and calls us by a new name -- no longer forsaken or forgotten, but completely covered in the shelter of this home he has made for you and I. And all we have to do is come, let our guard down, open up our hearts, and let Him take His place in our hearts. There is absolutely not a trace of fear in His love.
Another school year has started and I am struck again by His heart for the children. As I see such pain in their eyes, I know there is One whose smile can bring joy to the sadness they are carrying. The Father will bring justice to them. I am desperate to have His healing hands heal through mine, His eyes of love shine through mine, and His joy abound through me. For I am not much different, really. Just a girl who happened to stumble upon a God who said I was special, valuable, and different than what others had spoken over my life. Oh to be one that carrys His love on the earth.
Another school year has started and I am struck again by His heart for the children. As I see such pain in their eyes, I know there is One whose smile can bring joy to the sadness they are carrying. The Father will bring justice to them. I am desperate to have His healing hands heal through mine, His eyes of love shine through mine, and His joy abound through me. For I am not much different, really. Just a girl who happened to stumble upon a God who said I was special, valuable, and different than what others had spoken over my life. Oh to be one that carrys His love on the earth.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
The Pain of Separation and the Gift of Longing
I remember the first time I experienced a new demension of who God was. I had known certain parts of God, such as the importance of prayer and trying to stay far from sinful things. I loved God, but was quite legalistic and judgemental. Because of His love for me, He would soon bring a shaking and brokenness that would cause all of my pride to shatter under His mercy for my life. I had no idea what was about to hit! Although I had the mental knowledge of His love, I had not experienced it on the heart level like I was going to in my early 20s. It was during this season of divine shaking from the Lord that I would experience His love for the first time on a level that I was not accustomed to. Although I didn't understand the heart of God in what was happening to me then, I look back with a different perspective and I see His mercy written all over it. It's funny how we often need time to have some understanding of what God was doing in situations of the past. What an opportunity to more fully understand God's heart of jealousy over us by Him allowing certain things to take place. Even more than us, it's His desire that we mature into our true identity - lovers of God. If you are as stubborn as me, sometimes it takes some shaking sent straight from the throne room of heaven. Oh the treasure of understanding His kindness in all of life's seasons! His banner over us is love!
In that sweet season of encountering the precious heart of Jesus and His love for me, I became ruined. I loved more than anything to sit with Him and drink deeply of His presence and sweetness that, day by day, brought such healing to me. I found Him as a dear friend and confidant that knew every part of me from beginning to end. I had never known such friendship before. I was amazed that, after all my years of what I thought was devotion, I hadn't really known Him. I hadn't really experienced who God was. In my zeal for Him, I was actually missing the point -- to love Him and be loved by Him. I wanted to prove to Him that I was something special, but it was now time that He proved to me His love, zeal, and commitment to me. He knew my heart and, for the first time with no striving, I was actually enjoying God. It was a season where He took my aside and lavished me with His love. Although I didn't realize it then, it was a time of preparation.
Now, 10 years later, I long for that season again...to be close to Him, to listen to Him, and to forget about the things that are truly of no importance. There is nothing like being close to Him. If you also have the longing in your heart, you are blessed. For one day there will not be the gift of longing. We will be in His presence forever. For now, during these few days on the earth, may we value the gift of a longing heart --- one that finds no satisfaction in worldly things, but even in the pain of separation that our hearts would long for the One that can fill every part. Nothing else can satisfy. Nothing.
With that, I want to type a part of the book, "Union and Communion," by Hudson Taylor. It happens to be my favorite book. It speaks of the bride in Song of Solomon, a picture of the church.
"She has had her eyes open to know His love and longs for a fuller enjoyment of His love. This experience of knowing His love gives a divine warrent for the desire for perceptible manifistations of His presence--heartfelt communications of His love. It was not always so with her. Once she was content in His absence--other friendships and other occupations sufficed her--but now it can never be so again. The world can never be to her what it once was. She has learned to love her Lord, and no other companionship can satisfy her like companionship with Him. His visits may be occasional and brief, but they are precious times of pure enjoyment. Their memory is cherished in the intervals and their repetition longed for. There is no real satsifaction in His absence, and yet He is not always with her: He comes and goes. When He comes, her joy in Him is like heaven, and when He goes she is longing in vain for His presence. Like the everchanging tide, her experience is a constant ebb and flow. It may even be that unrest is the rule, satisfaction the exception. Is there no help for this? Must it always continue this way? Is it possible that He has created these unquenchable longings only to taunt her? It is strange indeed if this is the case. There are many who look back to the delightful hour of their conversion who are far from finding the rich inheritance in Christ they once enjoyed, and they are conscious that they have lost their first love. Others, who may not have lost their first love, may be feeling that the occasional interruptions to communion are becoming more and more unbearable. His absence is an ever-increasing distress "Oh that I knew where I might find Him! Would that His love were strong and constant like mine and that he never withdrew the light of His countenance!" Poor mistaken one! There is a love far stronger than yours waiting, longing for satisfaction. He is waiting for you all the time, and the conditions that debar His approach are all of your own making. Take the right place before Him and He will be most ready, most glad, to satisfy your deepest longings, and to meet and supply your every need."
In that sweet season of encountering the precious heart of Jesus and His love for me, I became ruined. I loved more than anything to sit with Him and drink deeply of His presence and sweetness that, day by day, brought such healing to me. I found Him as a dear friend and confidant that knew every part of me from beginning to end. I had never known such friendship before. I was amazed that, after all my years of what I thought was devotion, I hadn't really known Him. I hadn't really experienced who God was. In my zeal for Him, I was actually missing the point -- to love Him and be loved by Him. I wanted to prove to Him that I was something special, but it was now time that He proved to me His love, zeal, and commitment to me. He knew my heart and, for the first time with no striving, I was actually enjoying God. It was a season where He took my aside and lavished me with His love. Although I didn't realize it then, it was a time of preparation.
Now, 10 years later, I long for that season again...to be close to Him, to listen to Him, and to forget about the things that are truly of no importance. There is nothing like being close to Him. If you also have the longing in your heart, you are blessed. For one day there will not be the gift of longing. We will be in His presence forever. For now, during these few days on the earth, may we value the gift of a longing heart --- one that finds no satisfaction in worldly things, but even in the pain of separation that our hearts would long for the One that can fill every part. Nothing else can satisfy. Nothing.
With that, I want to type a part of the book, "Union and Communion," by Hudson Taylor. It happens to be my favorite book. It speaks of the bride in Song of Solomon, a picture of the church.
"She has had her eyes open to know His love and longs for a fuller enjoyment of His love. This experience of knowing His love gives a divine warrent for the desire for perceptible manifistations of His presence--heartfelt communications of His love. It was not always so with her. Once she was content in His absence--other friendships and other occupations sufficed her--but now it can never be so again. The world can never be to her what it once was. She has learned to love her Lord, and no other companionship can satisfy her like companionship with Him. His visits may be occasional and brief, but they are precious times of pure enjoyment. Their memory is cherished in the intervals and their repetition longed for. There is no real satsifaction in His absence, and yet He is not always with her: He comes and goes. When He comes, her joy in Him is like heaven, and when He goes she is longing in vain for His presence. Like the everchanging tide, her experience is a constant ebb and flow. It may even be that unrest is the rule, satisfaction the exception. Is there no help for this? Must it always continue this way? Is it possible that He has created these unquenchable longings only to taunt her? It is strange indeed if this is the case. There are many who look back to the delightful hour of their conversion who are far from finding the rich inheritance in Christ they once enjoyed, and they are conscious that they have lost their first love. Others, who may not have lost their first love, may be feeling that the occasional interruptions to communion are becoming more and more unbearable. His absence is an ever-increasing distress "Oh that I knew where I might find Him! Would that His love were strong and constant like mine and that he never withdrew the light of His countenance!" Poor mistaken one! There is a love far stronger than yours waiting, longing for satisfaction. He is waiting for you all the time, and the conditions that debar His approach are all of your own making. Take the right place before Him and He will be most ready, most glad, to satisfy your deepest longings, and to meet and supply your every need."
Monday, June 14, 2010
Overcoming Bitterness Through Meditating on God's Goodness
I want to write this for anyone who has, at some point in their life, not understood what is happening in their life or the life of someone they love. Life is a mystery, full of ups and downs and situations that we don't fully understand or comprehend. Though we try to control details of our lives that are both big and small, we soon find out that we simply can't. I'm not saying we are not responsible for certain things, because we are. There is certainly an accountablity we must live by, but my point is that we truly don't know what's going to happen from one day to another.
If you are like me, it's very difficult to not be in control. Whether it's having the freedom of choosing simple things such as what I will eat for dinner or what I will wear, to more important issues like what my life will look like in ten years, I really like the feeling that I am in charge. It's when we can't see, when we can't explain, and when we didn't plan on "that" happening is when the ugliness of bitterness seems to try and hook us. It is when disappointment seems to cloud our understanding and we seem to give up or lose hope that we give place for bitterness to take root. If you have not experienced this, just live a bit longer and I can assure you that this experience will be a part of your journey. If you have experienced, know that you are not alone.
So what is the answer to this battle we all fight against? It's a battle between having a heart of tenderness and trust towards God and having a heart that is untrusting, angry, resentful, and full of blame towards others and possibly God. I think everyone, at some point, will have the latter because we are simply human. We can't see the big picture and our perception of what God is doing in our lives is often twisted by our own ignorance of who He is and His heart towards us.
For example, take Job. This story is just painful. He loses everything he has including family and possessions. He has never done a thing wrong. As a matter of fact, God calls him "blameless." You can imagine what was going on in his mind when he tried to comprehend what was happening around him. He even began to question God and wondered if He had become his enemy. At this point, God speaks to Job and asks, "Who is this that darkens my counsel with words without knowledge?" I believe darkening here represents a lack of true knowledge. In the bitterness of his pain and discomfort, Job had expressed rage over the injustice he was experiencing. He claimed that God was angry with him and that He was his enemy. From the events throughout the story that are unseen by Job, the reader knows this isn't true. I think I can safely say that Job's biggest problem was ignorance about God's heart and what His motives were in allowing certain things to happen. If he knew the things that we know as we read the story, his attitude would probably be very different.
The fact is, the more we meditate on the goodness of God to us and His love for us, bitterness will not have root in us. The moment we begin to accuse God or anyone else for that matter, we are in a very dangerous place. I've been there before and though I have crawled out of that pit a few times, I have to set my mind upon the Word and fill my thoughts with His love for me. Otherwise, that pit will be a familiar place for any of us. We can know, even though we don't understand what's happening, that God is good and God is fair and God is just. It will also do good for us when we can know in our hearts that there are things we don't know, things we can't see, and a plan that is unfolding more awesome than we realize. Our temporary problems, quesitons, and concerns are nothing in comparison to what will come about one day!
If you are like me, it's very difficult to not be in control. Whether it's having the freedom of choosing simple things such as what I will eat for dinner or what I will wear, to more important issues like what my life will look like in ten years, I really like the feeling that I am in charge. It's when we can't see, when we can't explain, and when we didn't plan on "that" happening is when the ugliness of bitterness seems to try and hook us. It is when disappointment seems to cloud our understanding and we seem to give up or lose hope that we give place for bitterness to take root. If you have not experienced this, just live a bit longer and I can assure you that this experience will be a part of your journey. If you have experienced, know that you are not alone.
So what is the answer to this battle we all fight against? It's a battle between having a heart of tenderness and trust towards God and having a heart that is untrusting, angry, resentful, and full of blame towards others and possibly God. I think everyone, at some point, will have the latter because we are simply human. We can't see the big picture and our perception of what God is doing in our lives is often twisted by our own ignorance of who He is and His heart towards us.
For example, take Job. This story is just painful. He loses everything he has including family and possessions. He has never done a thing wrong. As a matter of fact, God calls him "blameless." You can imagine what was going on in his mind when he tried to comprehend what was happening around him. He even began to question God and wondered if He had become his enemy. At this point, God speaks to Job and asks, "Who is this that darkens my counsel with words without knowledge?" I believe darkening here represents a lack of true knowledge. In the bitterness of his pain and discomfort, Job had expressed rage over the injustice he was experiencing. He claimed that God was angry with him and that He was his enemy. From the events throughout the story that are unseen by Job, the reader knows this isn't true. I think I can safely say that Job's biggest problem was ignorance about God's heart and what His motives were in allowing certain things to happen. If he knew the things that we know as we read the story, his attitude would probably be very different.
The fact is, the more we meditate on the goodness of God to us and His love for us, bitterness will not have root in us. The moment we begin to accuse God or anyone else for that matter, we are in a very dangerous place. I've been there before and though I have crawled out of that pit a few times, I have to set my mind upon the Word and fill my thoughts with His love for me. Otherwise, that pit will be a familiar place for any of us. We can know, even though we don't understand what's happening, that God is good and God is fair and God is just. It will also do good for us when we can know in our hearts that there are things we don't know, things we can't see, and a plan that is unfolding more awesome than we realize. Our temporary problems, quesitons, and concerns are nothing in comparison to what will come about one day!
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