Learning to Receive God's Love

What I want to know is the God that sustains us through every season in our lives. I cherish the times I feel strong in Him. When He feels close, it’s as though I can accomplish anything. The confidence He gives is like nothing else. His love is stronger than what situations scream at us and when He speaks, fear and worry disappear. What about the days when we feel nothing? The moments when doubts seem to settle in and we can’t grasp the hope that He is near. When my heart grows weary and I feel empty, what will He say to me then? When I don’t feel strong and the desire towards God has decreased, what is His heart towards me in such a moment? This is what I want to know. What is God’s heart for us when we are weak? And I think we would all agree that we are just that. Weak. Some of us may not know it yet, but we are. When I say weak, I mean there is nothing in and of ourselves to accomplish anything in God without God. There is no desire in our hearts for Him without His hand placing that inside of us. The smallest little place that is towards Him inside of us is all His doing. It is His work of grace that causes our hearts to even want to say yes to Him in the first place. Knowing this stops us from striving and helps us to understand that, though we do have a responsibility before Him, it is mainly God who works in us to achieve His purposes and plans. Something I want to grow towards is being before God as a child. Since it is inside of God’s heart to want to take care of us, cover us, protect us, and love us, it is necessary that we don’t buck His ever increasing desire to be a Father towards us. Imagine a child that refuses to eat what his/her mother or father prepares for dinner. The child decides that he/she can make their own meal. After deciding on macaroni and cheese, the child heads towards the kitchen and gets the box out of the cabinet. To make this example even more fitting, this kid can’t read. He mixes together all the ingredients that is pictured on the box and pours it into a pan. After placing it on a burner, he is clueless as to how to turn on the oven or what temp to put it on. You get my point without me having to continue this story. We so often place ourselves in spiritual neglect by not allowing God to care for us when we feel weary and worn out by life. So many people are looking for something somewhere to fill the emptiness that is inside of them. I’m getting better about leaning into God when I sense this boredom and emptiness in my life. I’ve tried to “cook my own meal” before and I’m finally learning it’s better to just sit at the table my Father has prepared for me. It’s not easy to trust until He has allowed a few storms to come our way and we realize in the end that He does walk with people that don’t feel strong. We realize His heart is towards us and He is for us when all of life seems to be crumbling underneath what we thought would bring happiness from our own making. He is pleasantly able and willing to come and build something better for us, something lasting and of greater quality than anything we could come up with ourselves. It’s eternal. It’s rewarding. It’s life-giving. It’s having a Father that cares about us and loves us. His goal is that we would allow Him to love us more through life's difficulties.

Letting God Look At Us

I don't want to be afraid of God. The problem with you and I is that we are always having to deal with the fact that we simply aren't perfect. In every heart there is darkness. In every person there are things that need to be changed. Sometimes the person knows it, and sometimes they don't. When I am walking in pride, I don't know it until God creates a situation to show me the state of my heart. He does this because He is committed to judge sin in our lives. Every time He shows us a dark part in our heart, it's the beginning of defeat in that area of our lives. It is a glorious thing to come to know ourselves in the light of our weakness as well as how God views us. As long as we are in this earth, He is committed to changing us. It's very humbling when we realize the state of our own hearts, but it is the very work of God to bring an understanding to us of the necessity of being humble and broken before Him. Part of that journey is letting God look at us. It does no good to cover up or hide the issues in our hearts, but that is often the response we give Him because of fear. Letting God look at us, and opening up our hearts in honesty is a huge step in allowing Him to bring change to us. If you are like me, pride often stops me from experiencing Gods ways in my life. So for the ten billionth time, I come again asking Him to bring the needed brokenness in my life. Like everyone, I have many things that are in need of repair. But I also know we are dearly loved by the One doing the changing.

More On How God Treats Us (For Lack of a Better Title)

One thing that is true of God is that He is a huge giver. There is nothing selfish about Him. Yes, there are definately things He wants and things He asks of us, but the amount and measure He has given will always outweigh what little we have to offer. And even in the things He asks of us, His motive is always wanting what's best for us. That's what good Fathers do best. We can never give Him back the same amount He has given us. Though it is true on the earth that some can't ever repay what others give them, God is on a completely different scale. I mean, His kindness towards us is unheard of. The only difference is, we don't know the fullness of His gifts and love towards us yet. Of all the rewards we have and will receive on this earth, it is much more in eternity. The fact is, however kind we think God is now, He is much more than we can even imagine. One day we will look at our lives and see His love all over it. Though many may be offended now and question what has been allowed to happen in their lives, a day is coming when all will realize what the heart of God is truly like. None will be offended in that day because they will understand in clarity God's ways in our lives.

Matthew 7 says “Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? 10 Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? 11 If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!" Often in my life I expect God to give me a snake or a stone only to find that He is nothing of that kind of giver. The reason I expect that is because I am used to being given the measure of what I deserve. God does not give us what we deserve. He gives us better than what we deserve and we are simply not used to that kind of treatment! I don't know about you, but I don't go around giving people what they don't deserve. If someone makes me angry or if I'm treated wrongly, I unfortunately do just the opposite. That's just human nature. But God is different. Though we deserve nothing, He gives abundantly. When we can, over time, begin to relate to God on these types of terms, He has gained much ground in our hearts. The hardest thing for us to receive is the fact that a God who is so perfect in love and kindness accepts us as we are and is patient with us through our journey of becoming more like Him.

Remembering Where He Brought Me From

Tonight as I enjoy the last fire in my fire place until next Fall/Winter, I ponder about where the Lord has brought me. I’m thinking about how much He has believed in me and how He saw me so differently than I saw myself. I never want to forget the moment when I realized for the first time what His heart was towards me. We have a tendency to forget. Forgetting the past is a good thing, but remembering where the Lord brought us from causes a thankfulness, humility, and gratitude to remain in us. I want to keep it simple. The story of my life is He loved me! And He wrote his name on my heart and called me by a name that was so different than I had given myself! The posture of my heart changed and so did my entire emotional make-up. A freedom to love and be loved broke through all the walls in my heart and I was able to see life with a completely different perspective. Do we know that the Lord has set His affections on us? We are the love of His heart, the apple of His eye, and His favorite! This is what will get us through the ugly parts of life. Although He never promised we would glide through life without problems, what He did say is that His love would remain through all of it. I just always want to remember and be thankful. I never want to take Him for granted. Ok. The End! Time to be happy!

Our Highest Calling

I believe in all of us is a desire to give ourselves so fully to another in complete abandonment. To love another so much that our lives, knowing it is given out of our own free choice, are laid down for the sake of another. There is a beauty in sacrifice. Not for ourselves, but for love. With joy in our hearts we say yes to what seems difficult only to find that it is love that awaits us and love that is calling us. Love is the height of our calling. It is not to become something or to be valuable by the standards we so often live by. It is to love that we are called and love is the only thing that will last beyond what our eyes see today. It is our greatest calling and our greatest reward.

We were meant for so much more than just the boredom of everyday life. Our hearts are made for intimacy. When God made us, He put the ability inside of us for deep friendship and intimacy. Don’t be afraid to be childlike enough with God that you can come to Him without being fearful of what He might say. Many are afraid of what He will say to them. Therefore, they stay arms length away (or farther). You will be wonderfully surprised at what you will hear. It is in His heart and in His words of love about us that we become all that we are meant to be. Yes, you are meant to be a dad, a nurse, a teacher, etc etc. There is a greater calling for you and for I. It is the calling of love. It is when we can come to Him like a child and let Him see every hidden part inside of us without fear. This will completely transform us so we can live life knowing without a doubt that we are someone with a purpose and someone so unique to His heart.

Just like the longing we have to know real love, God desires to shine His face on those that are searching for Him. He will not relent, but will give freely to those who ask Him to show His love to them. Even now He is searching and looking for one whose heart is turned towards Him.

Mother to the Motherless

One thing the Lord told me several years ago was that He was going to teach me to be a mother. Now if you look at my life right now, you would wonder what in the world He meant since I am older with no kids of my own. Yet, His idea of a mother is so much more than what we may consider as being one. Do you know how kind God is? I mean, He is really, really nice. And He is really, really happy. I’ve been on this journey the last 10 or so years of learning about what God is really like. I find that inside of Him is the gentleness and tenderness of a mother. Inside of Him is the safety and love of a father. He has the qualities of a really incredible parent. This is what He wants to teach us. He wants to teach us about who He is and in doing so, we will begin to function with His love and heart on the earth. We will actually begin to be carriers of His love because we have searched and looked for Him. He will give without measure those that look for Him above anything else. I’m not talking about learning the traditions of a church. I’m talking about knowing God. Really, really knowing Him on the heart level. For me, I’ve had to allow Him to chip away the things that I once thought was true about God and let Him rearrange my thinking about how He is towards me. I was an awesome church girl with a lot of messed up ideas about who God was. He is still changing me.

I believe now more than ever the Lord is raising up people who know His heart as Father. In the coming days there will be such a need for those who can bring His heart to broken children. The motherless and fatherless of the earth are increasing beyond what we realize. The nations are filled with kids who are homeless, hungry, and have nothing. I have a feeling as things continue to unfold across the world, that this is only the beginning of a multitude of children who need the Father’s love. If you are one in whom the Lord has put a desire to help children, know that it is not an accident. Be confident in your calling that the Lord Himself has put that in your heart. You are meant for such a time as this.

Many are called to be an umbrella, a shade from the heat, and a place of safety for these little ones. It is so important that we know the heart of God. We must have His heart in the coming days. We must see with His eyes and move with His heart. As we look upon the lowliest most broken people of the earth, we must be able to see the beauty that He sees in them. If there is one thing we should be searching for and longing for, it is the heart of God. Money is not the most important resource (though it is important). We can have all the money in the world to give to people, but we need so much more than that. We must be grounded in love and be able to communicate God’s love to them in a way that is meaningful to them. The problems and hurt they carry are too much for us to fix. We need something more to give than a nice counseling session on how to have a better life. We need the Lord’s power and love to rest on us so much that when we talk and walk among them, we carry His very heart and fragrance. We smell like Him, talk like Him, and love like Him. It’s not the time to think we know how to do it. It’s time to cry out to Him like never before for the realization of His love and anointing for the broken hearted and hurting. We aren’t meant to stay in our little bubble. It’s time to get out and it’s time to carry the heart of God for others. You and I in all of our imperfections are the perfect candidates! It’s time, friends! People need Him!

Well, I’m getting all worked up. I better quit.

Exchanging Religious Duty for Friendship With Jesus

There are many concepts and ideas of who Jesus is and what He is like. Over the years, I have grown to realize the lies in my own heart about God and His nature towards us. For many, Jesus is anything but a fresh of breath air. With so many rules and regulations to follow, they see Christianity as controlling and quite boring. I understand why. I was once one that loved to put all of those rules on others. Without an understanding of what God is truly like, Christianity is just that. One can only try and obey all the rules for so long until either giving up or giving in secretly. The fact is, God wants to walk with us in life as a friend. Spiritual maturity is when you grow to realize that even in your weakness He loves and adores you. No matter how hard we try, we can’t follow all the rules. Those who think they are following the rules, are the maddest and meanest people of all! Thank God He delivered me from this kind of mentality. It’s amazing what a little brokenness can accomplish in our lives! Brokenness is such a gift from God!

When I was younger, I would approach God with a duty mentality. I was coming to Him out of duty because I didn’t want to get in trouble, so to speak. This was my Christian duty, therefore I better stick to it. Unfortunately, this resulted in a very legalistic approach to God that caused me to judge and look down on others who didn’t have the totally awesome prayer life that I had (not so much). I found my journal from back then and realized how much the Lord has changed me from that little religious girl I was back then! I’m still learning a lot about how He is, but I have changed a lot!

I did not realize that as I matured in the Lord (not saying I’m mature, but I have grown in truth) I would find that my time with the Lord would change from duty to pure enjoyment. I found that I actually liked spending time with Him because I began to experience the pleasures of His heart for me. I began to realize how much He really liked me and sometimes He just wanted me to sit with Him so He could whisper again what He felt about me. It was a sweet season of my heart being awakened to what God was like. It was a time of healing and a new understanding of who I was to God began to gain root in my heart. My heart before God was no longer entangled with the bondage of duty and not wanting to disappoint Him. Instead, the Lord Himself was showing me who He truly was and what He thought about me. This was a new concept for me. I simply found that when I was with Him, I felt adored, loved, accepted, and cherished. Not that I wasn’t loved well by others, but I had never felt anything like this before. It was new to me, and if this was who God really was, I wanted more. If He can take the time to change a simple person like myself, I know the invitation stands for anyone. I’m so normal and plain Jane, it’s ridiculous. I still have so much to work on, but if I can say one thing He has changed in me in the last 13 years, I would say it’s the way I view God and how He perceives me. This kind of perception has everything to do with how we live our lives with God. It has everything to do with how we will respond when we sin – whether or not we will run to Him or away. If we know we are loved even in our weakness, we will always run to Him after sinning (not out of rebellion, but sincere people with weak hearts). It won’t happen over night and we can’t do it by ourselves. He will do a work in our hearts – a work of love that will break down all the false ideas we have about Jesus. He is incredible, folks!

Song of Solomon 2:3 “I sat down in His shade with great delight.” There is a shade made available for us. For those who are weary and tired of carrying the load of life, there is a shade we can sit in. It is the shade of the Lord. It’s a place of rest and a place of pure enjoyment. The Lord is refreshing. I have a few people in my life that after I spend time with them, I leave feeling refreshed. Jesus is refreshing. Unlike so many that think He is one who wants to put religious duty on us and weigh us down with rules, He is just the opposite. He wants to take our heavy loads and share His heart with us. This shade is for anyone, not just for a few. It is for people who struggle and people who don’t measure up. It is for the one who has made a lot of mistakes and the one who has been given up on. When we know the pleasures in His heart for us, the areas of insecurity, rejection, paranoia, and self-criticism are shattered. Whenever I get tired of myself (I am my worst enemy), I go and sit in His shade for awhile. I always leave refreshed, strengthened, and ready for what’s next. And I feel much lighter as He always takes the things that I’m worried and fearful about and replaces them with His peace. What a friend we have in Jesus!