No Longer Forsaken

What is the power of a name? If we think of objects or anything in the world besides people, the name of an object is what gives it its identity. We know a door is a door because a door in our language means a door (say that ten times!). God specifically wanted things on the earth to have names. Adam named the animals in the Garden of Eden. It's a part of His plan that names are a part of our lives. Names give identity and understanding to what we are talking about.

In Isaiah 62:2-4 it states, "...you will be called by a new name that the mouth of the Lord will bestow. You will be a crown of splendor in the Lord's hand, a royal diadem in the hand of your God. No longer will they call you Deserted or name your land Desolate. But you will be called Hephzibah and your land Beulah, for the Lord God will take delight in you..."The Lord has a name for every one of us. He has an identity for us that is different than the identity we carry here on the earth. It is the identity that we were created to have. The verse goes on to explain just what this name means. It says you will be called a crown of splendor in the Lord's hand, a royal diadem in the hand of your God. You will be something of value, something that is wanted and desired after. When we want to keep something safe and protected, we hold it close, often in our hands. The Lord not only desires us, but holds us in His hands, a picture of how He won't let go of us because we are so valued by Him. We are a crown of splendor...we are royalty in the Lord's eyes. An important key to really understanding this is that the LORD is the one who speaks these things over our lives. We may or may not ever feel this kind of love from earthly relationships, but the promise is that God really does feel this way about us. This is our true identity before God. Many of us stand before God in condemnation and shame when God is wanting to speak our true identity into our hearts.

What is the name that God wants to free us from? This verse describes the name, or identity, that we often get stuck in. It is a lie that the Lord wants to break over our hearts. It describes this identity as, "No longer will they call you Deserted or name your land Desolate." In another version it says "forsaken." Someone who feels forsaken feels unvaluable, unloved, and not wanted. If they were wanted, someone would care, someone would come, someone would respond. They feel alone, unseen, lost. They go through the day to day routine of life and they are left feeling empty, alone, and not sure of what is ahead. They don't feel secure with who they are or where they are going because they are filled with disappointments from other people and are often disappointed in whom they themselves have become. No one cares. No one sees. No one notices. They are deserted and desolate.

So what is the actual name this verse says the Lord speaks over us instead? It says, "But you will be called Hephzibah, and your land Buelah, for the Lord God will take great delight in you." Hephzibah means "my delight is in you" and Buelah means "married." Someone who is married has been pursued and wanted -- they have been sought out. The fact is that God is pursuing our hearts. He is the great pursuer. You are being sought out by God Himself and He delights in you. Our identity is that we are loved by God, wanted by Him, and the very priceless possession He holds in His hands. Anything other than that is a false identity that can only be broken by our minds being renewed by what they Word says about us. We are truly loved by Him.

Words Heal. Words Kill. A Glimpse of God's Heart.

Words are very powerful. They can wound. They can heal. They cut to the very core of our being and can either help complete us or bring a deepening to the wounds in our heart. Words are an outward manifestation that affects us inwardly. That's why people in authority have a huge responsibility. They can help mold someone into something beautiful just by the words they speak over them. They can tear someone down and affect someones self-esteem easily. People carry wounds from hearing words that bruised their hearts during childhood. Words may be the most powerful thing on earth. Our hearts are affected by words because there is power behind them. Someone who speaks with a kind heart will spread kindness and love to others and bring beauty. Others will speak from a heart of bitterness or anger, or just hurt. Words reflect the state of our own hearts and affect others.

This is why it is so powerful when we really encounter the real heart of God. Our hearts are changed. I'm not talking about a normal religious church service. I'm talking about a real heart to heart encounter with Jesus. It is impossible that a heart can stay the same - His heart is so full of love for us that when we get even a small glimpse of what He is like, we change. What do we change into? We become like Him. We become lovers of God...and in the end, we learn to love others. When we encounter the presence of Jesus, we become carriers of His love to others in need. This is what He desires - to pour His powerful love into our lives that others can see it in us - almost like a fragrance that we carry. And in speaking of words...we talk about how words are a reflection of what is in someone's heart. It's an outward manifestation of a heart. In Proverbs it says, "out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks." So there is an overflow that comes from our hearts and out of our mouths. It either kills or heals. There is an overflow that comes from the heart of God also. It is an everflowing, neverceasing flow of heaven's love and healing that He wants to make known to you and I. Can you imagine being around someone who constantly says positive things about you, encourages you, and tells you good things about you all the time? That is what God is like. So what is the heart of God like, and what does He say about us? To know what He says, we must understand His heart.

In Psalms 45, it speaks of Jesus and says, "...your lips have been anointed with grace." There is power in anointing, so His lips, or words are a powerful flow of grace. Now the word "grace" may sound very religious to some of us, but have you ever been around someone who is gracious? There is a kindness, a gentleness, a mercy that they carry. They are easy to be around and there is a sense of safety, a feeling that you can be yourself. How much more does Jesus carry these things towards us? His words are gracious because He has a heart of mercy. His heart is loving and gentle, therefore He speaks with grace and tenderness towards us. I remember being a child and being so afraid when I did something wrong and my dad found out. I knew I was in for it...I knew a spanking was coming. I remember a few times when He walked up to me and siad He knew what I did, and then started joking around with me and laughing about it. Instead of a spanking I got a big hug. What relief my little heart had! This is the heart of our Father. I'm not saying that He does not discipline us when it is necessary, but He is not an angry God. He is a gentle shephard who loves and cares for us in our weakness. He is nicer than we think, more merciful than we are aware of, and His heart is overflowing with love and grace towards us. We have no idea how much we are loved. You might be thinking (like i sometimes think), "Why can't I just feel it? Why can't it just be more real to me?" We won't always feel it...it won't always be easy. There is times where all we can do is trust and believe that what He says in His word is true. And He says He loves us. In Matthew it speaks of a man who was searching for pearls. When He found one, He sold everything He had to buy it. This is the heart of God towards you. God is pursuing hearts all over the world in this very moment. He is pursuing you and has been your entire life...you may realize, you may not realize it. But He is. There is nothing He did not give to have you -- you are so important to Him. There may be no one in your life that understands what you're going through or how you feel. He sees it all, and loves you easily. You are the pearl of great price, the one He is pursuing. Others may devalue you, look down on you, or speak negatively over you. Yet, you are the precious and pricely pearl Jesus gave everything for. I encourage you to open up your heart and listen to the voice that has more power than any other. Jesus, whose lips are anointed with grace, stands waiting to speak His healing words into your broken heart. He knows you, sees you, and loves you. He is more than willing to prove Himself to you if you open up and let Him. He wants to take that pearl that has been trampled down and molded by other peoples views and words and create it to be what it is supposed to be. You were meant to be the object of God's affection, His delight. You were meant to feel like a favorite. He has no favorites, but when He loves us, it makes us feel like we are His favorite because we are uniquely designed to fill the heart of God like no one else could that He has created. He chooses you and wants you just because of who you are. You are the hidden pearl, the one He longs to bring into His healing embrace and you don't disappoint Him. What do you need in life? He is a professional heart healer and counselor - He takes our baggage from our past and fills us with healing and love. What do you need healed from? Broken relationships, addiction, abuse, neglect...whatever it is, it is nothing compared to the incredible power there is in the heart of God. He can bring you close, so close that everthing else disappears and becomes nothing in the light of His face and countenance.

There have been times that I just needed to hear Him say that I'm ok...that small whisper into my heart that says He is still with me and will never leave me. He doesn't change - He is the same through life's changes. Just to feel the peace of His presence sustains my heart. He will never leave us. He is the great lover of all lovers and He loves with such purity and passion that everything else melts that comes in contact with Him. He takes our fear, rejection, and insecurities and speaks truth over us. He knows our hearts and knows how to heal them. He delights in broken people. He delights in the forgotten, the forsaken, the one who has been cast out and betrayed. Oh how he loves you more than any other could ever love you. What hope there is in Him!

A Heavenly Perspective

I've been thinking lately about how Jesus lived on the earth and what He was thinking...how He handled situations knowing the big picture of everything. He comprehended fully that God existed before everything He was seeing with His eyes. He comprehended fully the future and what would take place in the coming days, years, decades, etc to come. He knew it all. He understood completely that He was dealing with the frailty of human hearts and they would eventually kill Him. He knew He would be betrayed, hated, and that He would experience the fullness of injustice. So how did He conquer it all? What did He set His mind upon? His reward had to have been the love that He had experienced between Him and His Father. His priority was not people, although this was the main reason He came to earth. At times He told them to leave Him alone so He could be alone with the Father. He would go to alone places -- moutain tops, etc just to be alone with Him. He set His heart on what the Father wanted Him to do. This affected His relationships (those who He got close to), the places He went, and the things He said. He was completely led by the Father because His heart was not set on gaining a place of leadership or fame on the earth. It is difficult to live this way, but this is what we are called to. EVeryone of us is able to hear God's voice, be led by His Spirit, and walk in His ways. Training our hearts to be a tune to it is what takes time and effort. Quieting our hearts before God and not letting worry, stress, and other things crowd His voice is sometimes very hard. Just merely finding a quiet place is sometimes nearly impossible! Yet our hearts are made to experience and live in the presence of Jesus. He doesn't love us anymore or less when we spend a lot, or not very much, time with Him. But, letting the peace of God rule in our hearts on a daily basis will conquer negative thoughts, accusations from the enemy, depression, etc. The Word of God cuts through all of that and brings peace and truth to our hearts. Now, we are human. We will all have days, or season, where it does not feel peaceful. What an opportunity for us to trust Him that He still holds us in His hands in those seasons!

My Birthday Date With Jesus

I basically thought this day was very low on the todem pole of my birthdays. I had some stuff planned tonight, but because of numerous situations and circumstances in several of my friends' lives, I didn't get to do much. Because the situations could not be controlled by my friends (people in the hospital, etc), I really wasn't too upset that I didn't do much on my b-day. We are just going to celebrate on a different day. But still throughout the day, one is reminded often that it is a birthday, which is, in my opinion, a pretty important day that should be counted worthy of our attention. So even though I really wasn't throwing a pity party, the natural feeling of "wow, it's my b-day" would spring up ever so often and then I was reminded that..."oh...wait...i'll have to celebrate it another day because of this and that and that...."

Anyways...it actually got better. I know what you're thinking. Someone brought me flowers, right? Nope. Someone...asked me to dinner? Negative. Someone...bought me a brand new Taylor guitar? I wish. This is what occurred...I HAD A DATE WITH JESUS. Now. I know that sounds completely ridiculous and just plain cheesy. But I was really shocked because it was planned by Him, not me. He had this night planned all day. He wanted to be with me tonight. Alone!! With me!! So on my 28th b-day, I had a date with the Lord. Do you want to know the details? Ok, Ok...of course you do!...everyone wants to know the details of a good date, right? This is how it went...I sat on my couch at approximately 8:30pm wondering what in the heck I was going to do for the rest of the night. I have been so busy lately that my guitar playing has been slackin, so I thought of the most wonderful idea. I decided to get my guitar and go outside. I do this every so often...it's just something about being in nature in a place where it's quiet that does my heart good. It just brings such a rest and peace on the inside of me that is so very often needed. So...i walk outside and sit down first on the chair in my back yard and just started playing a little....sang a little...played a little....sang and played a little. The most beautiful sunset began to form. So I sang a little and watched the sunset...played a little and watched the sunset...and thanked Him for that sweet little reminder that His mercies are new every day! When the sun rises in the morning new mercies await me! What good news. They never run out, which is good because I've used up a lot of His mercies and need so much more! No worries -- He has a brand new supply for us every 24 hours! Then, as the sun went down, I moved from the chair, which was under the porch, to sitting on the concrete under the sky. I sang a little...played a little...and watched the sky change colors until black covered it. Then, I layed down on the ground! I've never layed down before while playing my guit. But there was just something about tonight that made me want to look into the sky. So I did just that...and hoped there were no bugs that were going to get me! And I sang to the Lord. And played to the Lord. And gazed up at the huge sky with so many stars staring down at me. And the whole time realizing that the Lord had this whole date planned out for me on my b-day. I thought, "Lord, you just wanted me to yourself tonight, didnt' you?! Ha! You did, didn't you!! You rascal! I love you!" I was enjoying myself singing into the sky knowing that my voice echoed all the way into the heavens into the very heart of God. I can't see Him, but He sees me. He heard my little voice! I thought about my 28 years on the earth and how He has taken care of me, loved me, and covered me. Then the most incredible thing happened. He spoke to me. AAAAAAhhhh! I know, I know! God speaks to us a lot, but I never want to get so accustomed to Him speaking to me that it becomes just another part of my life. I love that God speaks to us and honestly, I love hearing His voice and knowing that He is paying attention to my little life in Norman, OK! There is nothing like it. Just knowing that He loves me enough that He wants to tell me something, anything! I don't care what it has to do with or how important it is or isn't. Just the mere fact that God wants to say SOMETHING - ANYTHING to me just wrecks me! I live for the times that I know He speaks to me - it's like food for my soul that just echoes from year to year.

So do you want to hear what He told me? It's the best thing EVER (considering how my day had gone). I get goosebumps thinking about it - and I hope when you read it you capture the essense of the moment like I did. He spoke this into my heart: "Marci, you have an audience tonight. There is no one around you that you can see, but you have gotten the attention of angels that have joined in your singing tonight. You may think you are alone on your b-day, but you are not! You are surrounded by an audience of worshippers!" DO YOU REALIZE WHAT THAT DID TO MY LITTLE HEART??!!! For crying out loud people --- Do I feel loved or what? I mean here I was thinking that I was goign to have a yucky and bored b-day, when all the time the Lord had planned a date with me and the angels! Is that not the sweetest little story you have ever heard! Is that not like our Lord! My heart is stunned by His incredible love -- that He would notice me on such a day like today and know that it is important to Him as well! So there ya go - my wonderful b-day date! What a gift!

The Mystery of God Living In Me!

I feel like a small child writing this blog. Anyone who has been raised in church, spent any amount of time in church, or just knows the basics about christianity knows the fact that the God of the universe lives inside of us. But sitting on my couch tonight I began to play my guitar and the truth of it all just hit me and I just sat there in awe!!! The God of the universe lives in me?!! What the heck! It is a mystery that I can't wrap my finger around and I never will be able to until I see Him. Why in the world is He so interested in us? In either 1 or 2 Corinthians it talks about how His glory is in jars of clay, which speaks of us. He has chosen to put His incredible glory in breakable, unstable, and inconsistant containers called humans. And not only has He chosen that way, but He delights in it! I just don't get it...I mean, really, folks! This is a mystery! Not only are we His dwelling place, but He longs for a deeper, more intimate relationship with every one of us more than we can imagine. His heart of friendship is always pursuing us.
My view of God has changed so much in the last 10 years. I used to think He was so disappointed in me and that I could never possibly measure up to His standards. And I was a "good" kid! No matter how "good" we think we are (which none of us are really "good" compared to His goodness and love), there is a part of us that is broken and unable to live up to a perfect life. It just ain't happenin'. I have definately not become more perfect in the last ten years...if anything, I have become more aware of who I am in my weakness. I used to think maturity was becoming more perfect. Now I know maturity is the ability to receive God's love and affection in my imperfection. It's knowing I am weak and letting God love me. Therefore, I will always run to God no matter what state my heart is in because I know He is for me not against me - even on the days that I am pretty much a moody, not so fun/nice person to be around He loves me!! AAAAHH! That is soooo good to know! When others leave, He stays. When others are disappointed, He is smiling. When others cast a stone, He approves! He is so consistant and His love covers a multitude of sins. This is the good news of the gospel -- this is why I love Him! Because His love is so much bigger than my little heart that pays way too much attention to meaningless things and can't quite grasp the small little messages He tries to send me through situations and circumstances. Oh yes, more than ever before I am aware of my weakness! And I am happy about it because more than ever before I am aware of His love for me!

So...this God of perfect and pure love lives in ME. Today the message that I have heard for 27 years seems to be ringing loud and clear in my heart. Jesus lives in my heart - I am His dwelling place. All He wants is friends, guys. He no longer calls us "slaves" but "friends." How incredible is that?! So if you're head is hanging low and you're in a not so great place, just know that His attention is on you. He is interested in us more than we even know. So interested that He was willing to give it all so that there might be friendship between us and Him. During my guitar playing on my couch I starting singing a simple, yet profound little song from my little heart. It speaks of my heart and it went something like this, "This is the place you have made for you. May you have my heart. May you have my mind. This is the place you long to be." And I sat there thinking about my heart and my mind. Does He really own it? Does He really have my thoughts and my attitudes, or heart? Or do I just simply talk about Him in words with no inner reality? There was this feeling that rose up on the inside of me - this longing that He would have that place that was created just for Him. He wants our hearts, which means our emotions, our will, our attitudes, etc. He wants our thoughts... So, let's make an effort to give Him what He so desires.

I read a book called "Practicing the Presence of God." It is basically about a man who worked in a kitchen and He decided to "practice" keeping His mind and thoughts centered on God while He worked during the day. He wrote that it was difficult at first, but as He practiced it more and more, He began to experience the presence of God in a very real way throughout His day. Maybe you think you don't have the time to be the kind of person that spends hours and hours with God on a daily basis. Well, join the majority of the world! I encourage you to try thinking about Him while you're at work, school, etc. Give Him your thoughts during the day. Our hearts really are the dwelling place for God's presence! He is jealous for YOUR heart and YOUR mind!!!

Finding Him in the Fire!

Two or three weeks ago I had a dream that I was standing in a fire and it was not a pleasant feeling. My view changed and I was now looking into the fire and I saw something astounding. There standing in the flames stood a huge lion. I wasn't afraid of the lion...actually, I knew the moment I looked at it that the lion symbolized (or however you want to say it) Jesus Himself. Yet, this was no cute kitty. I was looking straight into the eyes of the "Lion of Judah." There was a fierceness in His eyes that I can't really explain. I love the gentleness and sweetness of Jesus, but the picture I was seeing of Him was anything but that. In all of this, I was not afraid. I just watched Him as He moved about in the flames with an intensity and confidence that was obvious. There was no fear in Him. Strength flowed from His very presence and even fire, which burns up anything in it's way, could not overpower the presence of this Lion.

I woke up and I knew the Lord had given me this dream. Fire can mean many things to us. The Word speaks of the fire of temptation or the firy trials that God allows us to go through. It can mean the purification that a situation will bring in our lives. It is times of difficulty and pressure that God allows for good. One thing we all know. When the fire comes, it is not a pleasant vacation on the beach. It's a time when God places His finger on our lives. David says in Psalms "You've hedged me in behind and before, you've laid your hand upon me." There are times when God puts His finger on our hearts and we feel His love...His embrace...His comfort. But oh how different the fire is! It also comes from God. It is sent to purify us, to change us, to transform us. When we are in the middle of the fire we think we are going to die. We think it's a fire from hell when really it's the fire from God - the fire sent straight out of the heart of a love sick God. You see - His motives towards us are loving no matter what season we are in. He loves us so incredibally that He will allow situations to arise that will change us. He loves gently. But when the Lion of Judah comes, get ready for a purification to happen in your life. Get ready to DIE to yourself and become aware of your humanity more than ever before. Oh yes, it's a wonderful thing! In the midst of the fire we will find Him. We will find that strength of a Lion standing in the fire with us and we will come out with such dependency and trust in Him because every selfish ungodly ugly thing inside of us has been allowed to come forth. We become aware of two things. One - our weakness. Two - His strength. So let it burn baby! Yah, it may hurt, but the fire is burning up everything we don't want inside of us anyways!

Like I wrote earlier, when we are in the fire, we feel as though God is literally destroying our lives. Sometimes I want to just ask Him, "What the heck are you doing???" With all respect of course! Job asked that question lots of times. He said in Job 10:8 "Your hands shaped me and made me. Will you now turn and destory me?" He was experiencing the fire. Yet, look at God's motives. He wasn't doing it because Job was in trouble with God. He was doing it to prove Satan wrong. He knew Job would come out ok and He wanted to prove Job's heart to Satan. See, if only we could know the heart of God in the midst of the storm or fire we would not be offended at God. Satan told God Job would be offended when all of the precious things in His life were taken from Him. But God knew Job. And He was willing to prove that to Satan. Can you imagine if Job knew that all of the trouble occurred in his life as a result of a dang bet between God and Satan? Yet, He would not be wondering of God had left Him - He would not be doubting Him. He would press on and cling to that which He had known in the past - the faithfulness of His God. Job also writes in 7:17-20 "What is man that you make so much of him, that you give him so much attention, that you examine him every morning and test him every moment? Will you never look away from me or leave me alone for just an instant? If I have sinned, what have I done to you, o watcher of men? Why have you made me your target? Have I become a burden to you?" He was basically asking God to lay off for awhile - His hand was on Him too heavy. He needed a break from the fire...the hand of God on his life was overwhelming him. God had targeted Job and all because of how much He loved Him! He was the most righteous and blameless of all the people in the land. How in the heck did Job not get offended? It was a test - a firy test from God and God knew Job would pass it. Satan was allowed to touch the very heart of Job - the very things that he loved most were destroyed.

I get a daily prophetic word through my email. Today's word was what inspired me to write this blog. Here it is:

I have been with you in your times of testing and trials, says the Lord. The fires of purification have burned white hot, and you have come through your ordeal changed -- transformed by your faith and dependence upon Me. There were times when you would rather have been translated or transfigured, but you have learned obedience through the things you have suffered. And, you are stronger spiritually than ever. These afflictions were exactly what you needed to stimulate your spiritual growth. Hebrews 5:8 Though He was a Son, yet He learned obedience by the things which He suffered.

Pain

We've all heard the saying "iron sharpens iron" meaning that we as individuals grow the most when we are placed in situations where we can form meaningful relationships with those around us. God is not in the business of placing us in isolation as a form of maturing in Him. A large part of maturing in Him is when we form a "family" around us whom we can share our lives with. Communicating and encouraging one another in both strong times and seasons of weakness is a part of His plan. This was His idea. Red flags need to go really high when someone is too good to open up and share their lives with others as a result of being too spiritually mature or having the sense that others are way below their realm of humanity. It takes some humility to share our lives with one another. Not only that, but trust! Lord knows we've all been hurt and the more someone is hurt, the less likely they are to open up to the next person who comes along. Rejection seems to seep in somewhere in the process which leaves us afraid and unwilling to share with someone else those deep, maybe even shameful, parts of our lives. But -- still, beyond all of that, it's still necessary that we have people around us for us to grow in the Lord!
Let me give you insite into some of my history. In highschool and in my earliest years of college I held a wonderful view of who I was. I was always known as the good girl who could make everyone smile and feel better. In school I was the christian girl who was known for her innonence and just plain niceness. I never partied and in some sense was seen as perfect. I can say those things about me because it's been said to me about myself! And honestly, I really did sincerely love my Lord as much as I knew how to. My nature was sweet, but underneath all of that was this hidden pride that I didn't even know I had. Hiding behind my sweet innocent life was some ugliness that I wouldn't encounter until later in my college years when the Lord decided to bring a needed shaking to my life. Oh yes...the joy of being broken is something that isn't joyful at all until you're at the end of the process. That is just what I needed is some brokeness in my life. I didnt' know I needed it. I, like everyone else, really didn't think I needed a thing. I definately didn't need anyone else.I had my life together. I woke up an hour early to spend time with the Lord every morning. I thought this was all I needed...I had a strong relationship with Him, but there was a part of my heart that needed some adjusting and the Lord knew exactly what to allow in my life that would do the job! It's called HUMILITY!!! One symptom of pride that I had was thinking I was everyone's gift on the earth and I could fix anyone. I never remember going to anyone and asking for help or prayer. I was "strong." I didnt need anyone else. I was a step higher than everyone else and didn't need to ask for help. Well, let's just say that has definately changed in my life! And I am better now because of it. Brokenness comes in our lives because we cannot see others the way He sees them until we realize our own brokenness and humanity. I am no different than the man who beats his wife, the prostitute on the street, or the murderer (although I do need reminded of this at times!). We will not reach out to others who are hurting until we can somewhat identify with how they feel. Someone like me who had some self righteous issues at a young age needed to go through some shaking in my early years to get all of that pride out of me.
Like I said earlier, iron does sharpen iron. I am changed into the image of Christ when I am humble enough to open up my life to those around me. This may mean receiving correction, rebuke, or offering a necessary forgiveness. May we allow the Lord to work and mold us into a vessel of love and humility. First of all loving Him and secondly loving our neighbor - no matter what they look like, sound like, where they live, how they dress, or even smell (ha). I don't know about you, but I want to become more like Him. If we are serious about that, we can expect a few bumps and bruises along the way.
The scripture I've been reading lately is Job 5:17,18 "Blessed is the man whom God corrects; so do not despise the discipline of the Almighty. For he wounds but He also binds up; He injures but He also heals."
No matter what He allows in our life, we can know that it will bring about good and we will grow from it. Pearls are formed by adding pressure and our lives are no different. The pain in my life has been the very thing that has shaped me into who God has called me to be!