Friendship and Familiarity

I have had the privilage of spending some quality time in other countries where I have grown to admire the strengths of other cultures as well as get a better understanding of my own. In getting off the plane from being in another country where resources like food and clothing are much less than in my own country, I can't help but be in shock as I look around. But it's not just the physical resources that are different. There is much more that one can learn from being in another culture. I love my country. I am blessed to be living here and I don't take it for granted...especially when I have spent time in other places around the world. But, I have to admit that there are certain aspects I have seen in other cultures that leave me wishing I lived in a culture that had those qualities.

The one thing I want to focus on is friendship. Although we all know the definition, I sometimes still look in the dictionary for words I know because...well....I just do! Websters says the word "friend" is defined as "one attached to another by affection." Webster defines "affection" as a "tender attachment." I like this definition because it speaks of a heart to heart connection that is tender.



It is not shallow, but one in which the very heart of one person has become "attached" to another in tender friendship. When this occurs, one experiences the delights of true friendship that all of our hearts crave. Our hearts are meant to experience this kind of relationship and friendship. I think at times in our culture we would define friendship as "the person I see at work or the person I talk to once or twice on the phone for a few minutes each week." In other words, friendship has taken on the definition of acquaintences in many aspects. Are we able to point out anyone in whom we have a "tender and affectionate attachment" that Webster's defines as friend? You probably won't have too many in a life time. If you have one, you are blessed. I'm finding most people do not have any.

In speaking of familiarity in friendship, I think it is necessary that one doesn't get too familiar with the person they call their "friend." You might be wondering, "How then is one to enter into the intimacy of true friendship without being familiar?" I am speaking of familiarity in a negative sense. I'll turn again to Webster to give us insight into this word familiarity. It is defined as "one who is well acquainted." Although we may know someone very well, we can never know the depths of someone's heart fully. We aren't even capable of knowing our own hearts fully. Therefore, we must guard against familiarity which can lead to controlling behaviors. Many people live among "friends," yet their friends don't have a clue what is really going on on the inside of them. That person may not feel free to share because of the fear of being too familiar in the community that surrounds them. It is true that a friend is one who has a tender attachment with another, but it is impossible for one to truly know another fully.



I personally love someone that I can open my heart up to. To have that friend who listens, who is safe, and yet does not become too familiar with me that I can't share the secrets of my heart. There is nothing like pouring out your heart in vulnerability and feeling safe doing it. Just like there is nothing more painful than pouring out your heart and thinking you are safe only to realize it was anything but safe. I not only long for the kind of friendship I am writing about, but I long to be that kind of friend to someone else. It is a gift from God...and it comes from Him. For He is safe, He listens, and He longs for our hearts in friendship as well. A scripture in John says that Jesus no longer calls us "servants" but "friends" -- someone who He has a tender and affectionate heart attachment with. A servant is someone who is in the relationship merely for business. It's a "yes sir, no sir" kind of thing. A friend is in the relationship just because they like you! No pressure involved...just pure pleasure! Servants and masters don't sit down for coffee and definately do not have a heart to heart connection. I believe more than ever before there is an invitation for us to get out of the servant mentality with God and enter into friendship with Him. Not only can we share the secrets of our hearts with Him -- He will share His secrets with us. But He will only share them with friends...those who don't have selfish ambition in coming to Him or those who use Him for what they can get from Him. He wants to share His heart among friends. In a sense, He wants to sit down and have coffee with us! Not because He wants something from us - He just likes us! Pure pleasure!!!

Jesus' Heart for the Broken and His Desire to Raise up Lovers

Jesus' heart is for the poor. Many of my heroes are those who have allowed the Lord to break their hearts for the broken ones. Those who have spent years sitting among the poor, feeding them, bandaging their wounds, and loving them. Oh what an invitation we have as lovers of God to enter into the heart of Jesus. How He loves the forgotten ones of society - the outcasts, the orphans and other needy children, widows, and elderly. For it is these who are His inheritance and His reward. Jesus' heart of justice is so alive for these that He is looking for people who He can poor His heart into.What better reward can we have then just knowing that we helped to usher in and bring forth Jesus' inheritance by bringing His healing and touch to those less fortunate. For me love is a supernatural thing. Anyone can be "fake nice," if you know what I mean. The more we sit at the feet of Jesus, the more we will experience the love that we will fully know in eternity. It is a love that brings humility and brokeness. It's true - we can encounter the love that is in heaven. There is nothing on earth like it. In Revelations, it speaks of a river flowing from the throne of God that will bring healing to the nations. Jesus wants to make us into lovers and from that position make us those that bring healing to the nations (our families, co-workers, neighborhoods, cities, etc.).

What an incredible invitation! Raise up lovers!

In My Father's Arms

Here's a poem describing part of my journey with my Father! It's simple, but for me very profound. His love has changed me.

In my Father's arms I'm hiding,
In my Father's arms I'm near.
In my Father's arms I'm slowly
Recovering from all my fears.

In my Father's arms I'm resting,
In my Father's arms I cling.
In my Father's arms I linger,
My heart is quiet, yet I sing.

In my Father's arms I'm heard,
In my Father's arms I'm healed.
In my Father's arms I'm wanted,
And in this promise I am sealed.

In my Father's arms is kindness,
In my Father's arms I cry.
Tears of joy and tears of gladness,
For I'm the apple of His eye.

No Longer Forsaken

What is the power of a name? If we think of objects or anything in the world besides people, the name of an object is what gives it its identity. We know a door is a door because a door in our language means a door (say that ten times!). God specifically wanted things on the earth to have names. Adam named the animals in the Garden of Eden. It's a part of His plan that names are a part of our lives. Names give identity and understanding to what we are talking about.

In Isaiah 62:2-4 it states, "...you will be called by a new name that the mouth of the Lord will bestow. You will be a crown of splendor in the Lord's hand, a royal diadem in the hand of your God. No longer will they call you Deserted or name your land Desolate. But you will be called Hephzibah and your land Beulah, for the Lord God will take delight in you..."The Lord has a name for every one of us. He has an identity for us that is different than the identity we carry here on the earth. It is the identity that we were created to have. The verse goes on to explain just what this name means. It says you will be called a crown of splendor in the Lord's hand, a royal diadem in the hand of your God. You will be something of value, something that is wanted and desired after. When we want to keep something safe and protected, we hold it close, often in our hands. The Lord not only desires us, but holds us in His hands, a picture of how He won't let go of us because we are so valued by Him. We are a crown of splendor...we are royalty in the Lord's eyes. An important key to really understanding this is that the LORD is the one who speaks these things over our lives. We may or may not ever feel this kind of love from earthly relationships, but the promise is that God really does feel this way about us. This is our true identity before God. Many of us stand before God in condemnation and shame when God is wanting to speak our true identity into our hearts.

What is the name that God wants to free us from? This verse describes the name, or identity, that we often get stuck in. It is a lie that the Lord wants to break over our hearts. It describes this identity as, "No longer will they call you Deserted or name your land Desolate." In another version it says "forsaken." Someone who feels forsaken feels unvaluable, unloved, and not wanted. If they were wanted, someone would care, someone would come, someone would respond. They feel alone, unseen, lost. They go through the day to day routine of life and they are left feeling empty, alone, and not sure of what is ahead. They don't feel secure with who they are or where they are going because they are filled with disappointments from other people and are often disappointed in whom they themselves have become. No one cares. No one sees. No one notices. They are deserted and desolate.

So what is the actual name this verse says the Lord speaks over us instead? It says, "But you will be called Hephzibah, and your land Buelah, for the Lord God will take great delight in you." Hephzibah means "my delight is in you" and Buelah means "married." Someone who is married has been pursued and wanted -- they have been sought out. The fact is that God is pursuing our hearts. He is the great pursuer. You are being sought out by God Himself and He delights in you. Our identity is that we are loved by God, wanted by Him, and the very priceless possession He holds in His hands. Anything other than that is a false identity that can only be broken by our minds being renewed by what they Word says about us. We are truly loved by Him.