I believe hidden in the heart of God is an unrelenting longing and desire for the hearts of His people. Now that might sound very shallow and we've all heard it before, but has this truth really penetrated us in a way that causes us to have an understanding of God's heart and the motive behind what He allows to happen to us in our lives?
I've been studying Hosea. It shows the struggle between Israel and God - His heart of love towards a people that are, what He calls, living like a prostitute. They are going after other loves and God creates certain obstacles in their lives that causes them to turn and love Him again. This can be seen in our lives as well. The fact is that God wants to be the very center and core of our lives. We can see a pattern of how God draws us back from the times that we turn from Him and give our hearts to other things. Let's look at it!
God tells the prophet Hosea to find and marry a prostitute. Can you imagine how crazy this must have sounded to Hosea? Not only did God want him to marry her, but to have children with her. God said this would be a sign of the love that He had for the nation of Israel. It is a picture of God's loves towards us as well. There are times in all of our lives that we seem to stray from God. Other things look better than God. They bring more pleasure to our lives, and at the time they satisfy our hearts - but only for a short time. For some of us it is outward sin that keeps pulling us away - the drawing of old patterns that sneak up from our past. For others it is finding ourselves in a place of boredom and apathy spiritually. We have fallen asleep on the inside and our hearts no longer have the fresh love and sincerity it once had. Yeah, we're going to church, but inside we are deader than roadkill on an Oklahoma highway. Both are dangerous and both are a reality in every person's life. No one on earth ever stops struggling in one or both of these two areas. It takes time and effort to keep our hearts tender before God. There are so many distractions - not necessarily bad distractions, that allure us away from our first love in Him. Hosea was married to Gomer the prostitute. They had kids together. They lived together. Yet, this was not good enough for God. He doesn't want us to be a live in roommate, He wants your heart. He doesn't want us to use Him for what we can get from Him that will bring properity to our lives - like the attitude of "what's in it for me." He wants a relationship with us like a picture of a healthy marriage - one that sticks through thick and thin because the bottom line is, the man and woman love each other. When another man or woman comes to draw us away from our one love, we will close the door real fast becasue our hearts are set on one love, our husband or wife. That's how God wants it. He wants our hearts, not just our money, our time, or showing up at church three times a week. That's not enough to satisfy the heart of God.
So God has a problem. He is in love with the nation of Israel, yet Israel no longer acknowledges Him. What does God do in our lives to draw us back when we are in this place? He shows how he works in the book of Hosea. In chapter 2:6,7 it says, "Therefore I will block her paths with thornbushes; I will wall her in so that she cannot find her way. She will chase after her lovers but not catch them; she will look for them but not find them. Then she will say, 'I will go back to my husband as at first, for then I was better of than now." He will block her path with thornbushes. Have you ever been on a path where life seems to be going great, and all of a sudden trouble seems to overtake you. Nothing is going right. Sometimes it's the enemy, but sometimes it's God drawing us back to Him - it's the discipline of the Father and His love wanting to woo us back to our first love. Psalms 139:5 says, "You hem me in behind and before; you have laid your hand upon me." There are times where God hems us in on every side. We cannot escape Him. I don't know where this verse is, but there is a verse that says, "All my fountains are in you." We all at different times drink from other fountains of pleasure. We are creatures of pleasure - we long for it, we look for the next best thing that will give our hearts pleasure. We are like this because are made in the image of God. God's heart is full of pleasure. But, He is a jealous lover and He wants our hearts to take pleasure in Him. Some may be reading this and think "oh great, what a life. Taking pleasure in God." But I believe in our generation God is releasing the pleasure of God's heart over us and the message that the fountain in His heart tastes better than any other fountain. We will be the generation that says, "All my fountains are in you." But, this won't come to the heart that is asleep in religion. It will come to those who are pursuing Him wholeheartidly with all they have. He will have the hearts of our generation.
Anyways, there are times that God "hems us in behind and before" and places thorns around our lives. The sinful pleasures that we were partaking of that brought us satisfaction are ripped away and there is nothing left. We thought life would stay that way forever, but it never does. We thought we'd be happy forever. When we give our hearts to other loves, we end up hurt, bitter, bruised, and broken. Hosea 2:8-13 speaks of how she didn't realize that the good things in her life (grain, new wine, wool, linen, etc) came from her husband. She thought she could live as a prostitute and still have those things. She wanted both worlds - the good things of a christian life, yet the pleasures of sin. When she gave into sin, she realized that she no longer had those things her husband provided. Instead, she was left with nothing. This is the perfect time when God steps into our lives. He creates the perfect timing that our eyes are opened to our sin and we realize that what we are partaking in is not as good as we thought - it can't satisfy us. So, we turn back to God - for we once loved Him in a way that was sincere. And there God is - with His arms open wide, ready to embrace and heal our wounded hearts. He was working in our lives the entire time, even when we were living like a prostitute. He was the one that caused trouble in our lives, not because He was mad, but because He is a lover - a jealous lover that wants our hearts. It is worth it to Him for us to go through trouble if it means He gets our hearts in the end. Can you see his love in your own life? May we view times of hardship differently - Song of Sol says that His banner over our life is love. Everything He allows in our live is because of love - it's His motive for allowing trouble and good into our lives. He wants our hearts in the end and someitmes He will cause divine trouble in our lives for that to occur. So if you've had a lot of trouble, you must be really loved!!!
I love this part. She is left with nothing. She has figured out that her sinful pleasures don't last forever and she is left hurt, broken, and bruised. Chpt 2:14 God speaks and says, "Therefore I am now going to allure her; i will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her." Awe yes...the desert times. In the desert there are no springs to drink from. There are no pleasures. Everything has been stripped from her life. It is during this time that God breaks in and speaks to her. He doesn't speak angrily such as, "Why the heck did you do that? You're a horrible...blah blah blah." Instead, He speaks to her tenderly. AWE!! I LOVE THIS ABOUT GOD! When someone returns to Him, He binds up there wounds. He speaks tenderness into their heart and heals them again with His love. This is how He brings someone back to Him, through lovingkindness. He then goes on and says, "There (in the desert) I will give her back her vineyards, and will make the Valley of Achor a door of hope." The VAlley of Achor literally means the valley of trouble. So God is saying over her that the time she just went through of trouble will end up being her hope. What does that mean? Her eyes have opened to what sin is and what it does in her life. She has tasted other streams and fountains and she knows what that leads her to - a broken and bruised heart. The very trouble that God allowed has brought her hope. She has an understanding of life now that she did not have before and she says yes to God again. God says after that, "There she will sing as in the days of her youth..." A heart that sings of His love. God has won her heart again. She will sing as she used to! In v. 16 it states, "In that day, declares the lord, you will call me 'husband,' you will no longer call me 'master.' I will remove the names of other gods from her lips..." She once called Him 'master.' God wants to bring us to a place where our view of God is as a lover, not as someone who is bringing rules into our lives that we have to follow. She saw Him as a master, not as a lover. Now that she has tasted other loves, she knows that His love for her is better. She now calls him husband. God wants our view of Him to be as the one who loves us, not as the one who disciplines us out of anger. He is a God of tenerdness and affection.
V. 19 says, "I will betroth you to me forever; I will betroth you in righteousness and justice, in love and compassion. I will betroth you in faithfulness and you will acknowledge the Lord." He was saying over her that His love she experienced is not just for a season - His promise for her of this kind of love was forever. She had experienced what she thought would be pleasure that lasted forever, but now she has found true pleasure in God's love for her, and it will never end. She had not been faithful, yet His promise to her was that He would faithfully love her forever. His compassion towards her would never end. He also promises at the end that she will acknowledge the Lord. In other words, she would know Him, she would have an undersatnding of His love and she would acknowledge it. It would no longer be just Him loving her, they would be in this thing together - she would love Him also.
Chapter 6:1 "Come let us return to the Lord. He has torn us to pieces but He will heal us; he has injured us but he will bind up our wounds...he will revive us."
No matter what the Lord has allowed to happen in our lives, there is a promise of restoration and healing. He doesn't want a part of us, He will allow divine things to occur in our lives that will shake us and transform us until we have an undersanding of God's heart of love for us. Desert times can be the best thing for us! Do you feel like you have been torn to pieces? It's time to return to the one who loves you - He has been a part of every season of our lives - the difficulties, the times we have not acknowledge Him, every part!
Friday, January 11, 2008
Unlearned Before God
I have just graduated from OU with my teaching certificate. I have a growing heart for children and feel I am more equipped than ever to work with children. That's what I thought, anyways. The Lord suprised me with what He thought about it... The other day the Lord spoke something out of the blue straight into my heart. It was one of those times that you know it was Him...it was not a thought I was thinking that I wondered maybe if it was Him. I knew He had spoken it to me. He told me plain and clear that before Him I was unlearned. WHAT? God, I have just graduated from OU! How can you think that? What else do you expect me to do!The next few days He began to speak to me concerning this...and I want to share it!
I truly believe that God is searching for a type of person to place His anointing and favor on for this day and time on the earth. I, like so many, look at my natural talents and abilities (graduating from OU, etc.) and think that it is those things that are preparing me and getting me closer to what God has for me. There is no doubt that God will use those types of things to prepare us (education, etc), but He is looking for much more than outward human wisdom in someone. He is looking at their heart. When we talk about a heart, what exactly do we mean? The Bible defines all sorts of different kinds of hearts that we can all have. Some are good, some are dangerous. Some of these include a grieved heart, willing heart, stirred heart, tender heart, pure heart, broken heart, hardened heart, wicked heart, proud heart, deceiful heart, bitter heart, wounded heart, and the list goes on and on... the fact is that God is looking for a certain type of heart. He isn't looking for a talented person, a smart person, a good lookin' person, a rich person, an experienced person, or anything else that we so often use to measure someone's importance and stature in life. These are all human standards, but what He is wanting to release to us is the very heart of heaven. It is so different than the system we live under. It is not in us naturally, but can only be developed through times of devotion and communion with the Lord. Like any good friend, He will rub off on us if we just spend some quality time with Him. This is what He wants. To share His heart. So what in the world does that look like?
Well I certainly don't feel like I know...I mean, the Lord Himself communicated to me that before Him I am unlearned. So the cry of my heart has been "teach me Lord...teach me about what is important to you. Teach me about what moves your heart - the things that you love. Let me love them." He wants to bring us to a very low place - a place of humility where we can hear what He hears and feel what He feels.
1 Corinthians 1 states, "I will destroy the wisdom of the wise; the intelligence of the intelligent I will frustrate. Where is the wise man? Where is the scholar? Has not God made foolish the wisdom of the world?...For the foolishness of God is wiser than man's wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than man's strength. Brothers, think of what you were before you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. He chose the lowly things of the world and the despised things - that things that are not to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before Him."
Notice the adjectives describing what God chooses in the world - foolish things, weak things, lowly things, despised things, things that are not. In this He is speaking of people. He chooses weak people, lowly people, despised people, people that are NOT the things that world would call someone to be chosen. God chooses the foolish things of the world. So, the invitation God has given us is that we would humble ourselves before Him and take on the very nature of Christ - the nature of a servant. The nature of someone whose heart breaks for the lowly of the earth - the orphans, the widows, the poor, the sick, the elderly, those that cannot help themselves. This is what God chooses - the foolish things of the world that everyone overlooks - this is the heart of God. I am so unlearned - and my cry is that God would teach me about His Kingdom - to love what He loves and to get His heart so much on the inside of me that He walks and talks through me with compassion, mercy and love flowing through my life.
In Matthew Jesus said the poor in spirit are blessed and that the Kingdom of God belongs to them. The calling of heaven is to become poor in spirit - to humble ourselves and take on the very nature of Christ - growing in compassion, growing in the knowledge of who Jesus is and His love and nature so that "they will know us by our love."
We must have a listening heart. I've quit asking God for things. I've asked God for things for years and He has gotten me to the place where I just listen. There is a time to ask and that's very biblical. But, in my life right now I feel He is calling me to listen to Him, to learn from Him - the greatest lover of mankind and in doing so, to get His heart. To sit at His feet as one that is unlearned - I don't know how to do it God...I have no idea, give me your heart! May His heart be what we are after - not ministries, not anything else. He is calling us to abide in Him - to be so near to Him that He can live through us. This is when we will see real fruit and the kingdom of God released on the earth! We will love the poor, love the orphans and widows, love the brokenhearted and we will bind up their wounds in His name!
I truly believe that God is searching for a type of person to place His anointing and favor on for this day and time on the earth. I, like so many, look at my natural talents and abilities (graduating from OU, etc.) and think that it is those things that are preparing me and getting me closer to what God has for me. There is no doubt that God will use those types of things to prepare us (education, etc), but He is looking for much more than outward human wisdom in someone. He is looking at their heart. When we talk about a heart, what exactly do we mean? The Bible defines all sorts of different kinds of hearts that we can all have. Some are good, some are dangerous. Some of these include a grieved heart, willing heart, stirred heart, tender heart, pure heart, broken heart, hardened heart, wicked heart, proud heart, deceiful heart, bitter heart, wounded heart, and the list goes on and on... the fact is that God is looking for a certain type of heart. He isn't looking for a talented person, a smart person, a good lookin' person, a rich person, an experienced person, or anything else that we so often use to measure someone's importance and stature in life. These are all human standards, but what He is wanting to release to us is the very heart of heaven. It is so different than the system we live under. It is not in us naturally, but can only be developed through times of devotion and communion with the Lord. Like any good friend, He will rub off on us if we just spend some quality time with Him. This is what He wants. To share His heart. So what in the world does that look like?
Well I certainly don't feel like I know...I mean, the Lord Himself communicated to me that before Him I am unlearned. So the cry of my heart has been "teach me Lord...teach me about what is important to you. Teach me about what moves your heart - the things that you love. Let me love them." He wants to bring us to a very low place - a place of humility where we can hear what He hears and feel what He feels.
1 Corinthians 1 states, "I will destroy the wisdom of the wise; the intelligence of the intelligent I will frustrate. Where is the wise man? Where is the scholar? Has not God made foolish the wisdom of the world?...For the foolishness of God is wiser than man's wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than man's strength. Brothers, think of what you were before you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. He chose the lowly things of the world and the despised things - that things that are not to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before Him."
Notice the adjectives describing what God chooses in the world - foolish things, weak things, lowly things, despised things, things that are not. In this He is speaking of people. He chooses weak people, lowly people, despised people, people that are NOT the things that world would call someone to be chosen. God chooses the foolish things of the world. So, the invitation God has given us is that we would humble ourselves before Him and take on the very nature of Christ - the nature of a servant. The nature of someone whose heart breaks for the lowly of the earth - the orphans, the widows, the poor, the sick, the elderly, those that cannot help themselves. This is what God chooses - the foolish things of the world that everyone overlooks - this is the heart of God. I am so unlearned - and my cry is that God would teach me about His Kingdom - to love what He loves and to get His heart so much on the inside of me that He walks and talks through me with compassion, mercy and love flowing through my life.
In Matthew Jesus said the poor in spirit are blessed and that the Kingdom of God belongs to them. The calling of heaven is to become poor in spirit - to humble ourselves and take on the very nature of Christ - growing in compassion, growing in the knowledge of who Jesus is and His love and nature so that "they will know us by our love."
We must have a listening heart. I've quit asking God for things. I've asked God for things for years and He has gotten me to the place where I just listen. There is a time to ask and that's very biblical. But, in my life right now I feel He is calling me to listen to Him, to learn from Him - the greatest lover of mankind and in doing so, to get His heart. To sit at His feet as one that is unlearned - I don't know how to do it God...I have no idea, give me your heart! May His heart be what we are after - not ministries, not anything else. He is calling us to abide in Him - to be so near to Him that He can live through us. This is when we will see real fruit and the kingdom of God released on the earth! We will love the poor, love the orphans and widows, love the brokenhearted and we will bind up their wounds in His name!
The Call to Prayer...The Call to Love
It seems our generation is longing for something more than the weekly religious service and religious routine. There is a longing to really know Him - to know Jesus in an intimate way. There is a fresh cry in my heart towards prayer...not asking God for things, but waiting upon Him - giving Him my ear - leaning upon His heart and listening to what He wants. What do you want Jesus? What do you desire from us? We have spent time and effort doing our plans and programs...now, Lord...what is it that you desire? I want to be your friend, to listen to you - to hear your heart and feel what you feel. When someone cultivates this type of prayer - the prayer of waiting upon Him in humility and brokeness, bringing Him nothing but our empty hearts, He will respond. We need His heart in our day. He don't need another good sounding worhsip song or motivating speech. We need the Word of the Lord - we need to encounter Jesus in such a way that His purifying love ruins us for nothing more than the things that move His heart. The poor, the sick, those that can't help themselves. Justice! The oppressed, the abused, the lonely...that we would allow the Lord to bring us to such a low place that we can identify with others as He identified with us. It is not a time to think we know how to do it - it's a time to fall on our faces and cry out for God to bring His power and love in our day. Awaken our hearts Lord!
Another thing I've been thinking about how the Lord is jealous for the affections of our generation. He wants a heart connection with us - not just our outward actions, but a real heart connection - to where we know Him on the inside - we encounter Him in our hearts and emotions in such a way that we are changed by the reality of His love. He is an affectionate God and He is jealous over our affections -anything that we would lift our souls to other than Him He considers an idol. May we come back to the place of prayer and back to our first love in Jesus. It's anything but dry religion - it is a love that consumes and transforms the hardest hearts and satisfies the deepest longings of the human heart. Shake everything that can be shaken in our lives, Lord - it's time we put off EVERYTHING that hinders us - to find the place of prayer again...to give our time to Him - to have an urgency of the hour in which we live!!! To hear the cry from heaven for lovers to be raised up - who carry the heart and affection of heaven. Make us friends of God! Giving up everything - letting go of the past and pressing on to what you have for us Jesus! Set eternity in our hearts that we would be awakened to this calling Lord! Stir us up again!
Another thing I've been thinking about how the Lord is jealous for the affections of our generation. He wants a heart connection with us - not just our outward actions, but a real heart connection - to where we know Him on the inside - we encounter Him in our hearts and emotions in such a way that we are changed by the reality of His love. He is an affectionate God and He is jealous over our affections -anything that we would lift our souls to other than Him He considers an idol. May we come back to the place of prayer and back to our first love in Jesus. It's anything but dry religion - it is a love that consumes and transforms the hardest hearts and satisfies the deepest longings of the human heart. Shake everything that can be shaken in our lives, Lord - it's time we put off EVERYTHING that hinders us - to find the place of prayer again...to give our time to Him - to have an urgency of the hour in which we live!!! To hear the cry from heaven for lovers to be raised up - who carry the heart and affection of heaven. Make us friends of God! Giving up everything - letting go of the past and pressing on to what you have for us Jesus! Set eternity in our hearts that we would be awakened to this calling Lord! Stir us up again!
We Satisfy Him
I have a simple, yet powerful fact about you and about God. God made the world and it says He was satisfied by what He saw - it was "good" in God's eyes. He looks at us in our fallen state and, becuase of His redeeming power, can still say with the same love and acceptance "Marci, you satisfy me heart. In my eyes you are good." Now I'm obviously not good in the sense of being perfect. I think when God said good, it's the kind of good that I say when I've bitten into a delicious warm chocolate chip cookie. (haha) It satisfies something in me. The fact is that we satisfy God's heart. He is a lover. When you think about a lover, that person is preoccupied by the person they love. God is preoccupied by you. We get His attention and we move His heart. Why? Becuase He is able to see us in the nature that we would have walked in if it were not for the fall. He is able to look past our sin and see us as we will be in eternity. Adam had such intimate communion with God and when He sinned that was shattered. But, because of the price Jesus paid for us, we are able to enter into that intimacy again. It's not about us trying to please Him, it's just about accepting the free gift and realizing that we will never be perfect until we see Him. He looks at us with such sincerity and say that we satisfy His heart - in His eyes we are good. This is who we really are - that is our real identity.
Rebels
I just read Isaiah 53. Read it if you have a Bible close by. I've read it before, but this time it seemed to have a lasting impact on me. The last verse states, "...he exposed himself to death. He was counted among the rebels. He bore the sins of many and interceded for rebels."
There is hope for a rebel. If you think about a rebel, most of the time people have given up on them. Often they are disowned by their families and freinds becuase they have chosen to walk a path that is different than the views of the people around them. They are often people that many have tried to help, but nothing seemed to come from it, so they are considered the ones that can't be helped. They have been given up on. They have been pushed aside. They have been overlooked and sometimes forgotten. Their entire identity is wrapped up in the things they have done wrong - they have been labeled by society. The overall feeling about that person is that they are helpless - too far into their own rebellion for positive change to occur. The definition it gives in the dictionary is, "a person who resists any authority, control, or tradition."
Get what this is saying SPECIFICALLY about rebels. First of all, Jesus was considered a rebel. He died a death that only rebels and criminals died. Good people didn't get crucified. Only criminals that were deserving of it. People saw Him as a rebel. It was important for Him to be considered a rebel because Jesus died for rebels. Jesus didn't die for good people. If He was really going to take our place, He had to become the worst of the worst...He had to die the worst death so He could cover a multitude of sins. In doing this, every person who will ever live and has lived will have the chance to be found righteous and made right before God. Again, He didn't die for good people. It SPECIFICALLY says He died for rebels. These include the ones everyone else has given up on, the ones that have destroyed their lives with the choices they have made, the ones whose lives are basically nothing but a mess.
This is who Jesus was and is. He loves rebels. He loves the difficult ones that seem to be making all the wrong choices. HE LOVES MESSED UP PEOPLE WITH A LOT OF ISSUES. He never gives up on them, never forgets about them, and never pushes them away. And He is perfectly able to love them into wholeness. Lord help us to love like you, to see you like you, to carry your heart and healing to the rebels of the world, just like you did for us.
There is hope for a rebel. If you think about a rebel, most of the time people have given up on them. Often they are disowned by their families and freinds becuase they have chosen to walk a path that is different than the views of the people around them. They are often people that many have tried to help, but nothing seemed to come from it, so they are considered the ones that can't be helped. They have been given up on. They have been pushed aside. They have been overlooked and sometimes forgotten. Their entire identity is wrapped up in the things they have done wrong - they have been labeled by society. The overall feeling about that person is that they are helpless - too far into their own rebellion for positive change to occur. The definition it gives in the dictionary is, "a person who resists any authority, control, or tradition."
Get what this is saying SPECIFICALLY about rebels. First of all, Jesus was considered a rebel. He died a death that only rebels and criminals died. Good people didn't get crucified. Only criminals that were deserving of it. People saw Him as a rebel. It was important for Him to be considered a rebel because Jesus died for rebels. Jesus didn't die for good people. If He was really going to take our place, He had to become the worst of the worst...He had to die the worst death so He could cover a multitude of sins. In doing this, every person who will ever live and has lived will have the chance to be found righteous and made right before God. Again, He didn't die for good people. It SPECIFICALLY says He died for rebels. These include the ones everyone else has given up on, the ones that have destroyed their lives with the choices they have made, the ones whose lives are basically nothing but a mess.
This is who Jesus was and is. He loves rebels. He loves the difficult ones that seem to be making all the wrong choices. HE LOVES MESSED UP PEOPLE WITH A LOT OF ISSUES. He never gives up on them, never forgets about them, and never pushes them away. And He is perfectly able to love them into wholeness. Lord help us to love like you, to see you like you, to carry your heart and healing to the rebels of the world, just like you did for us.
Fasting is Our Friend
Yes, it's true. Fasting is indeed our friend. It's such an anceint practice and many people don't practice or understand the spiritual discipline of fasting today. I don't know a whole lot about it, but I'm finding that it works. If you are feeling far from the Lord, or that your heart seems to have a hardness or callousness on it that it did not have before, I recommend fasting. This was how I have been feeling the last few weeks, just not feeling the closeness to the Lord I had before. My heart was losing the tenderness and I had lost that simple love I had for the Lord. So I decided to go on a fast and it really does work. I don't know how it works, but it does. He is putting that tenderness and sensitivity to His presence upon my heart again and I love it. Tears are a gift. Not tears of depression, or even because we need something. Just the tenderness and realizing His goodness in our lives that causes us to be so soft that we cry before Him. It had been awhile since I cried. It feels good to have it back. Add a little fasting and prayer to your life. It does wonders.
Living and Loving Authentically
I would like to just simplify our lives for a moment. One reason is that I need a good reminder of it...another reason is maybe you do too. I think we make it much more difficult and stressful than it's supposed to be. It's easy to wake up one morning and find that your life in God has diminished...it's not just the same as it was. You didn't mean to. It just happened. Life got busy...maybe even good things are happening that seems to be taking up your time and energy and that hunger for God isn't there like it once was.
It's really amazing that we can simplify our lives down to two important things. In these two things which God says are most important - we find that it does not limit our lives - it actually energizes it because the most important things are centered around the most wonderful thing our hearts can ever experience on the earth. That thing is LOVE. Do we realize our relationship with God is and should be centered around love? I know many times mine is not. It may be centered on rules - trying to do the right thing. Or fear of not measuring up. But God's will for both you and I is that our hearts would be full of love for both God and others around us. He wants a sincere heart of love - one that is real, not just someone that can act the part. I've acted it plenty of times and I'd much rather be authentic.
So. The two most important things God says is to (1)Love God with all your heart and (2) Love others. That is so simple. It's around these two things that we should build our lives. Think about it - God doesn't give us a rule to live by, like "don't do ___________ and don't do _______________." He gave us an opportunity to experience the most incredible thing a heart on earth can experience, and that is love. Why did he choose this? Becuase that is who He is. To go even farther, in Corinthians, it says that we can be all of the imporatnt things as a christian, like having spiritual gifts, etc -- but if we dont have love we are a clanging symbol - just a bunch of noise. Has anyone but me felt like you're living a life of just a bunch of noise? Nothing of real depth or authenticity. You're doing the right things - going through the chrisitan motions, but it's shallow and it's become an outward motion, not so much something that is alive and real on the inside of you. I refuse to live like this, although I have plenty of times.
What does it take to not live like this? Well, quite simply, if love is God and comes from God, the only way we can become lovers of God and others is to dive into who God really is. The more we know about God, the more we will become like Him. I want to address the ugly thing in our Bible belt culture called the religious spirit. This is the most severe way we can live unauthentically. It's when we say somethign out of our mouths and it does not measure up in our lives. Now, we won't ever measure up to perfection, but God sees our heart - if it's rebelious and religious, or teachable in the midst of our struggles. A religious spirit easily looks and speaks down to others and doesn't realize his/her own struggles and weaknesses. They live an outward life, but inwardly they are evil and hypocritical. They look and act like a strong christian, but there is a whole hidden part on the inside of them. A good way to tell if someone is like this is how they treat others - if they are hard on others are merciful. This is huge in our culture. So how can we defend ourselves from becomign like this? We have to have an inward christian life - we have to work on our hearts - the place that true life flows from - the place we find our real selves. It's not in our actions and words, it's in the deep places of our hearts where we see who we really are. I dare you to do something that is dangerous. Be honest with yourself. What is in your heart? I know I am going through a season where God is stripping me - showing me all kinds of things that I didn't realize was inside of me. Why? Because I've asked Him to make me authentic - that my inner life and outer life would be the same - that I wouldn't be hipocritical, but a person of integrity. That's a dangerous thing to ask for because God will begin to show you all of the shadows in your heart that you don't relize are there. You'll begin to own the fact that you are prideful, bitter, unforgiving, hipocritical, a gossip, etc etc. It's a good thing to own it because until you do, you'll be blinded by your sin and God can't deal with something if you don't believe it's really in you. So, I'm opening my heart up and saying to God that I dont want to deny anything. As much as it is shocking and it hurts, I want to deal with those hidden sins and those things that are so ugly that I seem to push them away - or I just didn't realize they were there. God wants to deal with them because He wants us to be authentic - He wants us to love Him sincerely and love others sincerely.
One thing I am realizing about myself is how incredibally selfish I am. I didn't realzie this before, but God seems to be shining his light on me and revealing it. I'm sure it's always been there, but it's been hidden to me. It's a part of our human nature to be selfish, it can even look normal and have some sense about it. Look at Jesus' life. Peter asked Jesus to not go through the suffering that was before Him. Jesus' response was, "Get behind me satan." Peter was asking Jesus to not give himself for others - to save his life and not lose it. Jesus saw this as something that came from satan. Jesus gave His life - He did not keep anything for himself. This was the greatest act of love we will ever encounter. Sometimes selfishness can be human wisdom - we have got to be discerning and obediant to the path God has for us, even if it seems hard and unfair. May we not get caught up in our culture's view of life and miss out on the cross God has for us to walk under. Selfishness is when we want to fill our needs, when life is centered around fulfilling our wants and desires. Jesus did anything but this. It was the heart of heaven for Him to die. Some consider this harsh. Sometimes we think God is asking way too much of us - that He is even being harsh - but we dont see what he sees - we dont see the big picture. He wants to strip everthing from us - the things our culture has placed on us that we call "truth" may not be truth - if we realy want the heart of heaven, we better be ready to be different and expect others to not understand. What is he asking of you? Don't let your heart be offended. He is doing a work in you that, when it's completed, you will be rooted and grounded in His love and not in what our culture says life should be lived like. Walk into it - trust Him that He knows what is best for you. It hurts, but it is sooo good! Our culture says we are most important - it's about I, I, and I. Jesus says whoever saves His life will lose it and whoever loses His life for His sake will find it. May be we willing to lose our lives - to let go of what everyone says is important and find our lives in God.
It is my goal in life to be a better lover of God and a better lover of people. The past week I have relized I need to do some major changes in my schedule as far as how much time I am spending with the Lord. My time with Him has deminished some, and I refuse to live life not being sincere. For me, I am more sincere when I have spent time with the Lord and my heart is full of love for Him. It just automatically overflows into other people without me trying. Life is much better that way. I dont like living where I have to muster up niceness to the point that it is not real and sincere. I dont want to live that way.
So if you're like me, I encourage you to renew your time with the Lord. Let your goal in life to be to become a lover, not to make money or to be a mom, wife, husband, etc. When we put God first, all of the other things will come into alignment. Life will be much easier because we are living out of the grace He has called us to walk in every day. It does take a willingness to spend time with Him. Are we willing to go the extra mile to live our lives in God to the fullest? I say yes!
It's really amazing that we can simplify our lives down to two important things. In these two things which God says are most important - we find that it does not limit our lives - it actually energizes it because the most important things are centered around the most wonderful thing our hearts can ever experience on the earth. That thing is LOVE. Do we realize our relationship with God is and should be centered around love? I know many times mine is not. It may be centered on rules - trying to do the right thing. Or fear of not measuring up. But God's will for both you and I is that our hearts would be full of love for both God and others around us. He wants a sincere heart of love - one that is real, not just someone that can act the part. I've acted it plenty of times and I'd much rather be authentic.
So. The two most important things God says is to (1)Love God with all your heart and (2) Love others. That is so simple. It's around these two things that we should build our lives. Think about it - God doesn't give us a rule to live by, like "don't do ___________ and don't do _______________." He gave us an opportunity to experience the most incredible thing a heart on earth can experience, and that is love. Why did he choose this? Becuase that is who He is. To go even farther, in Corinthians, it says that we can be all of the imporatnt things as a christian, like having spiritual gifts, etc -- but if we dont have love we are a clanging symbol - just a bunch of noise. Has anyone but me felt like you're living a life of just a bunch of noise? Nothing of real depth or authenticity. You're doing the right things - going through the chrisitan motions, but it's shallow and it's become an outward motion, not so much something that is alive and real on the inside of you. I refuse to live like this, although I have plenty of times.
What does it take to not live like this? Well, quite simply, if love is God and comes from God, the only way we can become lovers of God and others is to dive into who God really is. The more we know about God, the more we will become like Him. I want to address the ugly thing in our Bible belt culture called the religious spirit. This is the most severe way we can live unauthentically. It's when we say somethign out of our mouths and it does not measure up in our lives. Now, we won't ever measure up to perfection, but God sees our heart - if it's rebelious and religious, or teachable in the midst of our struggles. A religious spirit easily looks and speaks down to others and doesn't realize his/her own struggles and weaknesses. They live an outward life, but inwardly they are evil and hypocritical. They look and act like a strong christian, but there is a whole hidden part on the inside of them. A good way to tell if someone is like this is how they treat others - if they are hard on others are merciful. This is huge in our culture. So how can we defend ourselves from becomign like this? We have to have an inward christian life - we have to work on our hearts - the place that true life flows from - the place we find our real selves. It's not in our actions and words, it's in the deep places of our hearts where we see who we really are. I dare you to do something that is dangerous. Be honest with yourself. What is in your heart? I know I am going through a season where God is stripping me - showing me all kinds of things that I didn't realize was inside of me. Why? Because I've asked Him to make me authentic - that my inner life and outer life would be the same - that I wouldn't be hipocritical, but a person of integrity. That's a dangerous thing to ask for because God will begin to show you all of the shadows in your heart that you don't relize are there. You'll begin to own the fact that you are prideful, bitter, unforgiving, hipocritical, a gossip, etc etc. It's a good thing to own it because until you do, you'll be blinded by your sin and God can't deal with something if you don't believe it's really in you. So, I'm opening my heart up and saying to God that I dont want to deny anything. As much as it is shocking and it hurts, I want to deal with those hidden sins and those things that are so ugly that I seem to push them away - or I just didn't realize they were there. God wants to deal with them because He wants us to be authentic - He wants us to love Him sincerely and love others sincerely.
One thing I am realizing about myself is how incredibally selfish I am. I didn't realzie this before, but God seems to be shining his light on me and revealing it. I'm sure it's always been there, but it's been hidden to me. It's a part of our human nature to be selfish, it can even look normal and have some sense about it. Look at Jesus' life. Peter asked Jesus to not go through the suffering that was before Him. Jesus' response was, "Get behind me satan." Peter was asking Jesus to not give himself for others - to save his life and not lose it. Jesus saw this as something that came from satan. Jesus gave His life - He did not keep anything for himself. This was the greatest act of love we will ever encounter. Sometimes selfishness can be human wisdom - we have got to be discerning and obediant to the path God has for us, even if it seems hard and unfair. May we not get caught up in our culture's view of life and miss out on the cross God has for us to walk under. Selfishness is when we want to fill our needs, when life is centered around fulfilling our wants and desires. Jesus did anything but this. It was the heart of heaven for Him to die. Some consider this harsh. Sometimes we think God is asking way too much of us - that He is even being harsh - but we dont see what he sees - we dont see the big picture. He wants to strip everthing from us - the things our culture has placed on us that we call "truth" may not be truth - if we realy want the heart of heaven, we better be ready to be different and expect others to not understand. What is he asking of you? Don't let your heart be offended. He is doing a work in you that, when it's completed, you will be rooted and grounded in His love and not in what our culture says life should be lived like. Walk into it - trust Him that He knows what is best for you. It hurts, but it is sooo good! Our culture says we are most important - it's about I, I, and I. Jesus says whoever saves His life will lose it and whoever loses His life for His sake will find it. May be we willing to lose our lives - to let go of what everyone says is important and find our lives in God.
It is my goal in life to be a better lover of God and a better lover of people. The past week I have relized I need to do some major changes in my schedule as far as how much time I am spending with the Lord. My time with Him has deminished some, and I refuse to live life not being sincere. For me, I am more sincere when I have spent time with the Lord and my heart is full of love for Him. It just automatically overflows into other people without me trying. Life is much better that way. I dont like living where I have to muster up niceness to the point that it is not real and sincere. I dont want to live that way.
So if you're like me, I encourage you to renew your time with the Lord. Let your goal in life to be to become a lover, not to make money or to be a mom, wife, husband, etc. When we put God first, all of the other things will come into alignment. Life will be much easier because we are living out of the grace He has called us to walk in every day. It does take a willingness to spend time with Him. Are we willing to go the extra mile to live our lives in God to the fullest? I say yes!
Disappointments
I know I'm not the only one with disappointments in my life...I mean, I have to admit, I haven't had a bad one. My life has been good. Actually, I love my life. That doesn't necessarily mean it's all the time wonderful, but I'm slowly learning that things change, people change, seasons change -- and when you realize that, it's not so much a shock when the change comes. Because of that word we dont like - CHANGE, we often are left disappointed in life. Whether it's with our relationships or just the outcome of situations, we don't really like it when it doesn't end up our way. I want to write a little about being disappointed.
Was Jesus ever disappointed? I really don't know - maybe one of you can tell me. I'd really like to know. Even if He wasn't ever disappointed, I know He understands us when we are, and I know He wants to comfort us in times where our hearts, at the end of the day, are left with disappointment. The fact is that He will never disappoint us. Now, that doesn't mean He offers us a perfect life with no troubles. We all, at some point in our life, can choose to be offended at others and even offended at God because things haven't happened the way they want. Or, maybe that person in your life has not been the person you need or want them to be.
So the real question is, what do we do when we are disappointed? Do we allow ourselves to give into bitterness and unforgiveness or do we run into His arms - the one that we can give our fears, our hurts, and our doubts to. We can be vulnerable with Him - we can tell him our disappointments and He can keep a secret. He will "comfort us with His love."
I've been studying the verse, "My thoughts are higher than your thoughts, my
Was Jesus ever disappointed? I really don't know - maybe one of you can tell me. I'd really like to know. Even if He wasn't ever disappointed, I know He understands us when we are, and I know He wants to comfort us in times where our hearts, at the end of the day, are left with disappointment. The fact is that He will never disappoint us. Now, that doesn't mean He offers us a perfect life with no troubles. We all, at some point in our life, can choose to be offended at others and even offended at God because things haven't happened the way they want. Or, maybe that person in your life has not been the person you need or want them to be.
So the real question is, what do we do when we are disappointed? Do we allow ourselves to give into bitterness and unforgiveness or do we run into His arms - the one that we can give our fears, our hurts, and our doubts to. We can be vulnerable with Him - we can tell him our disappointments and He can keep a secret. He will "comfort us with His love."
I've been studying the verse, "My thoughts are higher than your thoughts, my
The Lord's Face
In Psalms (I'm too lazy to look where it is exactly) there is a scripture that says "Those who look to the Lord are radiant, their faces are never covered with shame." I love this...it so speaks of who our Father is. It speaks of His countenance, it speaks of His emotional make-up towards us. You might think, how in the world does that scripture say anything about the emotions of God? Well, think of how you feel after you've been around someone who is judgemental and harsh towards you - especially if you've recently been hot-tempered, said something you shouldn't have, gave into your weakness, or any other thing that pretty much make you feel like the scum of the earth. A person with a judgemental, critical attitude does not have a good countenance. Usually people like that don't smile. People like that, who are constantly negative about others, seem to rub off on anyone who hangs out with them.
But, those who look to our Father are radiant. Our Father is radiant - he is surrounded with light (in Revelations). Light is a symbol for truth. The more we spend time looking in the face of God through prayer, meditating, reading the Word, worshipping, etc, the more we will become radiant with the same truth that God carries. Just as a negative person's vibes get on us, God's glory and radiance will get on us when we spend time in His radiance and truth. The second part says that those who look to God will not have a face covered with shame. If shame creeps up on you for something you've done in the past - if the enemy tends to eat your lunch over something that happened years ago, or even recently, it's a sign you have not looked at the face of our Father. In the face of our Father is the kindest, most loving countenance you will ever see. He is like a breath of fresh air in a world of negativity and criticism. So much so that when someone leaves from being with Him, that person's countenance is different - there is no shame, which causes us to degrade ourselves and not like ourselves. There is only tenderness and mercy for those who look to Him.
Just wanting to encourage everyone including myself to seek the face of God -- that we would be radiant with the knowledge of God - full of the knowledge of His love for us and for others - that shame would have not place in our lives because of the sweet acceptance of our Father's embrace and love.
Now leave me a comment dadgummit.
But, those who look to our Father are radiant. Our Father is radiant - he is surrounded with light (in Revelations). Light is a symbol for truth. The more we spend time looking in the face of God through prayer, meditating, reading the Word, worshipping, etc, the more we will become radiant with the same truth that God carries. Just as a negative person's vibes get on us, God's glory and radiance will get on us when we spend time in His radiance and truth. The second part says that those who look to God will not have a face covered with shame. If shame creeps up on you for something you've done in the past - if the enemy tends to eat your lunch over something that happened years ago, or even recently, it's a sign you have not looked at the face of our Father. In the face of our Father is the kindest, most loving countenance you will ever see. He is like a breath of fresh air in a world of negativity and criticism. So much so that when someone leaves from being with Him, that person's countenance is different - there is no shame, which causes us to degrade ourselves and not like ourselves. There is only tenderness and mercy for those who look to Him.
Just wanting to encourage everyone including myself to seek the face of God -- that we would be radiant with the knowledge of God - full of the knowledge of His love for us and for others - that shame would have not place in our lives because of the sweet acceptance of our Father's embrace and love.
Now leave me a comment dadgummit.
Inner Beauty
Well, I've been thinking about this last few days and I've decided to make a blog out of it...I'm kind of liking this blog thing. Well, not because I like writing so much, but because it helps me to really take what it's in my heart and mind and actually organize it - I'm realizing I process what I've been thinking about a lot better when I blog it. So, I'll probably be doing this more. Again, for selfish reasons. Ha!
I've been thinking about inner beauty and what exactly that is. How does someone acquire it? And what does it look like? Growing up, I was one insecure girl as far as my outward appearances. I was awful at receiving complaments. When someone said I looked pretty, I was so insecure I did not even like the fact that someone thought I was pretty. It was more than shy, it was somewhat of an unhealthy view of myself that later God would heal. Today I am much better at receiving complaments and when I look in the mirror, I like myself. Hopefully I don't like myself so much that I'm into the other extreme that becomes pride, but I am much more balanced when it comes to how I feel about myself than in my highschool years. I like to dress up more and look nice, which is HUGE. And that has to do 100% with what God has done in my own heart. I mean, I dont go around in high heals and dresses every day... I think you know what I mean. And I don't try to look good for the mere sake of someone giving me attention. I try and look good, well...because I know I'm valued and loved, so because I think higher of myself, I treat myself with more respect. Someone who doesn't respect and value themselves will not care about their appearance. On the other hand, they may also try so hard to please others that they will dress a certain way to get attention. I'm talking in an unhealthy way. I think there is a healthy way of wanting to look good, but it comes from the right motives and reasons.
I just want to share with you a part of my testimony of what exactly God has done in my heart. The people closest to me have heard this, but most have not. I hope by me sharing it you will see a picture of who our Father is - the loving God that He is. In my early 20s the Lord began to heal my heart of how I perceived myself. To be honest, I didnt think I was of much value. I loved God, came from a good family, did all the right things. But, there was a wound on the inside of me that formed, I believe, when I was a child. I can't pinpoint the exact time it formed, but I just know that as far I can remember it was been there. This wound caused me to look at myself in a negative way. It's not that I hated myself to the extreme, like suicide or anything. I just didn't feel valued. And, the sad thing is, I didn't even realize I felt this way. I had no idea...until my early 20s when the Lord began to shine His light on my heart and I realized it! It's funny the things we don't even know about our own hearts. There was a lot I didn't realize back then, and I'm sure there is a lot I don't realize now. He is so patient with us that He withholds from showing us everything that needs to change at once. He reveals things in the right time, when we are ready to deal with them.
Anyways, He began to show me in His word how He felt about me. He began to romance my heart with who He was. I began to hear His voice, and I realized it was a sweet voice, which shocked me. I viewed God as the judge, with somewhat of a harsh voice that always pointed out our weaknesses. Because of this, I was really good at pointing out other people's weaknesses. He began to tenderize my heart with His love and all the hardness and religion broke off of me and I began to be healed. No longer did I judge easily, but I could see past people's sins and see good in them. Not only that, but I realized for the first time it was not the religious things I did that made God accept me, but it was the qualities He had formed in me before I was even born. My personality, the things I liked, the way I did things. The very foundation of who I was God liked. This was a major thing for me...God liked me. He not only loved me, He liked me.
He told me that I was important, that I was of value to Him. He told me that he saw me and I was unique to His heart. I was different than anyone else that He had ever made and He desired to hear my voice. He told me I was beautiful. OH NO. Not that God. He REALLY began to tell me that. I began to feed myself on these things every day until I finally believed how He felt about me. It was a process of renewing my mind and changing the things that had been there for years. Song of Soloman 4:1 says "You are beautiful my darling, beautiful beyond words." Ok, so God thinks I'm attractive? What in the world? That's kind of wierd. Then I began to realize He was not talking about my outer appearance (although I don't think he thinks any of us are ugly...). He was talking about my heart, the inner beauty He saw in me. I stopped comparing myself with others and I began to be happy with who I was. I no longer tried to be like someone else -- I realized for the 1st time that just being me was good enough for God. A peace formed in my heart about myself that I had never had before.
It's fascinating to me that Jesus came as a humble servant. In Isaiah 53 it talks about Him like this, "...there was nothing beautiful or majestic about His appearance, nothing to attract us to Him." There was NOTHING about Jesus that was attractive! Yet, when you look at the heart of Jesus, it's the most beautiful heart that has ever walked the earth. Outward appearance was not the most important thing to Him. If it was, He would have came differently. He would have came with the ambition of fitting in, or being seen by others. He would have wanted attention from His outward appearance. He was so humble that He did not care what others thought about Him. Yet there was a strength about Him that allowed Him to walk through the suffering He went through. What was that strength? It was the constant love and communion He had with the Father. His identity was not in what people thought of Him - it was in what the Father thought of Him. This should be our goal. Humility and a heart that is completely grounded in how the Father feels about us. This is so important in our growth and maturity. If this doesn't happen, we will be on an emotional roller coaster our entire lives. We will be like a flower blown and tossed by the wind - whatever someone feels about us will affect us and we will never have the inner peace that God wants for us. It's easier said than done though! It takes someone that is focused on the Father, someone that is willing to spend the time in His presence like Jesus did. He spent lots of His time with the Father - it was His strength - He said it was like food to Him. God's love should be like food to our hearts - we can't live without it! Food only lasts a few hours and then we're hungry again. In the same way, we can't go years or even months on one encounter with God. It is so important we are consistant with feeding ourselves on truth. If not, we will go right back to the old nature, the old habits and thoughts we had before. We've all been there...and believe me, it ain't the best place. God has a better place for us! A place where we are confident in Him!
So, my question to us is...how much time and effort are we putting into our outer beauty and how much time and effort are putting into our inner beauty? What is our character like? Our integrity? How well do we love one another? Are we loyal? Do we gossip and slander others? What comes so easily off of our tongue? It's easy to neglect the inner life of our hearts and focus on the outward life. Now, I'm not saying we should all go around with no make-up and not care what we look like. As a matter of fact, God has put a desire to be beautiful in every single woman. It's a part of our nature. We are supposed to want that. But, how much more beautiful can we be if we allow the nature of God to be formed on the inside of us? It is His beauty that will be seen - His nature that will be formed in us. But, this takes work. It doesn't happen without someone who is going after it. It takes time out of each day sitting in His presence and being in His word. That's the only place where transformation takes place. But, after doing it for awhile, you will see that He begins to take over those places in our hearts...His healing comes and our minds are transformed. His thoughts become our thoughts and that overflows to others where we can love so much better!
So...in leaving you now, I just want to encourage you to be someone that is not only beautiful on the outside, but has inner beauty, a rare and precious quality that only comes from the Lord Himself. People are attracted to our outward appearance, but our lives will be lived with such shallowness if that's all we strive for. Become a person of inner beauty.
I've been thinking about inner beauty and what exactly that is. How does someone acquire it? And what does it look like? Growing up, I was one insecure girl as far as my outward appearances. I was awful at receiving complaments. When someone said I looked pretty, I was so insecure I did not even like the fact that someone thought I was pretty. It was more than shy, it was somewhat of an unhealthy view of myself that later God would heal. Today I am much better at receiving complaments and when I look in the mirror, I like myself. Hopefully I don't like myself so much that I'm into the other extreme that becomes pride, but I am much more balanced when it comes to how I feel about myself than in my highschool years. I like to dress up more and look nice, which is HUGE. And that has to do 100% with what God has done in my own heart. I mean, I dont go around in high heals and dresses every day... I think you know what I mean. And I don't try to look good for the mere sake of someone giving me attention. I try and look good, well...because I know I'm valued and loved, so because I think higher of myself, I treat myself with more respect. Someone who doesn't respect and value themselves will not care about their appearance. On the other hand, they may also try so hard to please others that they will dress a certain way to get attention. I'm talking in an unhealthy way. I think there is a healthy way of wanting to look good, but it comes from the right motives and reasons.
I just want to share with you a part of my testimony of what exactly God has done in my heart. The people closest to me have heard this, but most have not. I hope by me sharing it you will see a picture of who our Father is - the loving God that He is. In my early 20s the Lord began to heal my heart of how I perceived myself. To be honest, I didnt think I was of much value. I loved God, came from a good family, did all the right things. But, there was a wound on the inside of me that formed, I believe, when I was a child. I can't pinpoint the exact time it formed, but I just know that as far I can remember it was been there. This wound caused me to look at myself in a negative way. It's not that I hated myself to the extreme, like suicide or anything. I just didn't feel valued. And, the sad thing is, I didn't even realize I felt this way. I had no idea...until my early 20s when the Lord began to shine His light on my heart and I realized it! It's funny the things we don't even know about our own hearts. There was a lot I didn't realize back then, and I'm sure there is a lot I don't realize now. He is so patient with us that He withholds from showing us everything that needs to change at once. He reveals things in the right time, when we are ready to deal with them.
Anyways, He began to show me in His word how He felt about me. He began to romance my heart with who He was. I began to hear His voice, and I realized it was a sweet voice, which shocked me. I viewed God as the judge, with somewhat of a harsh voice that always pointed out our weaknesses. Because of this, I was really good at pointing out other people's weaknesses. He began to tenderize my heart with His love and all the hardness and religion broke off of me and I began to be healed. No longer did I judge easily, but I could see past people's sins and see good in them. Not only that, but I realized for the first time it was not the religious things I did that made God accept me, but it was the qualities He had formed in me before I was even born. My personality, the things I liked, the way I did things. The very foundation of who I was God liked. This was a major thing for me...God liked me. He not only loved me, He liked me.
He told me that I was important, that I was of value to Him. He told me that he saw me and I was unique to His heart. I was different than anyone else that He had ever made and He desired to hear my voice. He told me I was beautiful. OH NO. Not that God. He REALLY began to tell me that. I began to feed myself on these things every day until I finally believed how He felt about me. It was a process of renewing my mind and changing the things that had been there for years. Song of Soloman 4:1 says "You are beautiful my darling, beautiful beyond words." Ok, so God thinks I'm attractive? What in the world? That's kind of wierd. Then I began to realize He was not talking about my outer appearance (although I don't think he thinks any of us are ugly...). He was talking about my heart, the inner beauty He saw in me. I stopped comparing myself with others and I began to be happy with who I was. I no longer tried to be like someone else -- I realized for the 1st time that just being me was good enough for God. A peace formed in my heart about myself that I had never had before.
It's fascinating to me that Jesus came as a humble servant. In Isaiah 53 it talks about Him like this, "...there was nothing beautiful or majestic about His appearance, nothing to attract us to Him." There was NOTHING about Jesus that was attractive! Yet, when you look at the heart of Jesus, it's the most beautiful heart that has ever walked the earth. Outward appearance was not the most important thing to Him. If it was, He would have came differently. He would have came with the ambition of fitting in, or being seen by others. He would have wanted attention from His outward appearance. He was so humble that He did not care what others thought about Him. Yet there was a strength about Him that allowed Him to walk through the suffering He went through. What was that strength? It was the constant love and communion He had with the Father. His identity was not in what people thought of Him - it was in what the Father thought of Him. This should be our goal. Humility and a heart that is completely grounded in how the Father feels about us. This is so important in our growth and maturity. If this doesn't happen, we will be on an emotional roller coaster our entire lives. We will be like a flower blown and tossed by the wind - whatever someone feels about us will affect us and we will never have the inner peace that God wants for us. It's easier said than done though! It takes someone that is focused on the Father, someone that is willing to spend the time in His presence like Jesus did. He spent lots of His time with the Father - it was His strength - He said it was like food to Him. God's love should be like food to our hearts - we can't live without it! Food only lasts a few hours and then we're hungry again. In the same way, we can't go years or even months on one encounter with God. It is so important we are consistant with feeding ourselves on truth. If not, we will go right back to the old nature, the old habits and thoughts we had before. We've all been there...and believe me, it ain't the best place. God has a better place for us! A place where we are confident in Him!
So, my question to us is...how much time and effort are we putting into our outer beauty and how much time and effort are putting into our inner beauty? What is our character like? Our integrity? How well do we love one another? Are we loyal? Do we gossip and slander others? What comes so easily off of our tongue? It's easy to neglect the inner life of our hearts and focus on the outward life. Now, I'm not saying we should all go around with no make-up and not care what we look like. As a matter of fact, God has put a desire to be beautiful in every single woman. It's a part of our nature. We are supposed to want that. But, how much more beautiful can we be if we allow the nature of God to be formed on the inside of us? It is His beauty that will be seen - His nature that will be formed in us. But, this takes work. It doesn't happen without someone who is going after it. It takes time out of each day sitting in His presence and being in His word. That's the only place where transformation takes place. But, after doing it for awhile, you will see that He begins to take over those places in our hearts...His healing comes and our minds are transformed. His thoughts become our thoughts and that overflows to others where we can love so much better!
So...in leaving you now, I just want to encourage you to be someone that is not only beautiful on the outside, but has inner beauty, a rare and precious quality that only comes from the Lord Himself. People are attracted to our outward appearance, but our lives will be lived with such shallowness if that's all we strive for. Become a person of inner beauty.
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