Inside the Chambers (a poem)

This speaks of the struggle in keeping our hearts before Him in a time where outward pleasures surround us. It speaks of His longing to have our inward hearts and not just our outward sacrifices.



Come into the chambers of my heart
Where love awaits and longings are.

Here inside this secret place
Where you alone can see and taste.

You call me to stillness and peaceful streams
Trusting, abiding, waiting in peace.

Deep within I constantly fight
For sweet pleasures to delightfully arise.

As I come to open this chamber door,
My hope in time is that it will be Yours.

A Longing for Unhindered Devotion

I so long for my heart to be more of the Lord's. I so easily let doubt crowd in on my heart which stops so many things the Lord wants to do in me. It is very frustrating! I suppose hunger is a gift of God as well as dissatisfaction. A heart which is content will never go deeper in the things of God. It is only the heart that is longs for more that will enter into the depths of His heart. So, I am not complaining when I say this...I'm just saying that today I wish I could enter into the relationship with God that we will have in heaven. One that is not hindered so easily by distractions and by our own weaknesses. Yet I find myself so weak, yet hungering for my heart to be fully His.

It is our hope and joy to know that we will love God fully with no hinderance the day we enter into eternity. That will be a glorious day. Until that day I guess all we can do is press in and learn that our identity is not in our weakness or in our past. Our identity is in the fact that God is madly in love with us because He sees us in an eternal perspective - He sees us the way we will be in heaven - hearts fully given to Him. The love that is in His heart will fully be in us -- we will have the ability and power to love Jesus in loves fullness on that day. That is the reward Jesus saw when He said yes to giving His life for us. He saw a "Bride" (or the church..or a "partner") who would love Him and in whom He would love. This "Bride" is the church, which is made up of weak hearts that have said yes to receiving His love. The small "yes" in our hearts for the Lord weighs so much more than the sin that we so easily see as our identity. It is a problem with identity that many of us have. Our identity in His eyes is that we are a lover of God who struggles with sin, not a sinner who struggles to love God. We are lovers of God no matter what our struggles or weaknesses are. That is who we are. Until that reality is established in our hearts and minds, we will live in condemnation, doubt, and fear because our main focus is on our weaknesses and not on how God feels about us in the midst of our weaknesses. May we lift our eyes from such things and begin to set our hearts upon His face...to learn from His heart and sit at His feet. We are His joy, His inheritance, and His reward NOW -- not just when we enter into eternity. He enjoys us NOW! With our weak hearts and all! His heart is RAVISHED by us! Oh that our hearts would begin to grasp this reality!

Friendship and Familiarity

I have had the privilage of spending some quality time in other countries where I have grown to admire the strengths of other cultures as well as get a better understanding of my own. In getting off the plane from being in another country where resources like food and clothing are much less than in my own country, I can't help but be in shock as I look around. But it's not just the physical resources that are different. There is much more that one can learn from being in another culture. I love my country. I am blessed to be living here and I don't take it for granted...especially when I have spent time in other places around the world. But, I have to admit that there are certain aspects I have seen in other cultures that leave me wishing I lived in a culture that had those qualities.

The one thing I want to focus on is friendship. Although we all know the definition, I sometimes still look in the dictionary for words I know because...well....I just do! Websters says the word "friend" is defined as "one attached to another by affection." Webster defines "affection" as a "tender attachment." I like this definition because it speaks of a heart to heart connection that is tender.



It is not shallow, but one in which the very heart of one person has become "attached" to another in tender friendship. When this occurs, one experiences the delights of true friendship that all of our hearts crave. Our hearts are meant to experience this kind of relationship and friendship. I think at times in our culture we would define friendship as "the person I see at work or the person I talk to once or twice on the phone for a few minutes each week." In other words, friendship has taken on the definition of acquaintences in many aspects. Are we able to point out anyone in whom we have a "tender and affectionate attachment" that Webster's defines as friend? You probably won't have too many in a life time. If you have one, you are blessed. I'm finding most people do not have any.

In speaking of familiarity in friendship, I think it is necessary that one doesn't get too familiar with the person they call their "friend." You might be wondering, "How then is one to enter into the intimacy of true friendship without being familiar?" I am speaking of familiarity in a negative sense. I'll turn again to Webster to give us insight into this word familiarity. It is defined as "one who is well acquainted." Although we may know someone very well, we can never know the depths of someone's heart fully. We aren't even capable of knowing our own hearts fully. Therefore, we must guard against familiarity which can lead to controlling behaviors. Many people live among "friends," yet their friends don't have a clue what is really going on on the inside of them. That person may not feel free to share because of the fear of being too familiar in the community that surrounds them. It is true that a friend is one who has a tender attachment with another, but it is impossible for one to truly know another fully.



I personally love someone that I can open my heart up to. To have that friend who listens, who is safe, and yet does not become too familiar with me that I can't share the secrets of my heart. There is nothing like pouring out your heart in vulnerability and feeling safe doing it. Just like there is nothing more painful than pouring out your heart and thinking you are safe only to realize it was anything but safe. I not only long for the kind of friendship I am writing about, but I long to be that kind of friend to someone else. It is a gift from God...and it comes from Him. For He is safe, He listens, and He longs for our hearts in friendship as well. A scripture in John says that Jesus no longer calls us "servants" but "friends" -- someone who He has a tender and affectionate heart attachment with. A servant is someone who is in the relationship merely for business. It's a "yes sir, no sir" kind of thing. A friend is in the relationship just because they like you! No pressure involved...just pure pleasure! Servants and masters don't sit down for coffee and definately do not have a heart to heart connection. I believe more than ever before there is an invitation for us to get out of the servant mentality with God and enter into friendship with Him. Not only can we share the secrets of our hearts with Him -- He will share His secrets with us. But He will only share them with friends...those who don't have selfish ambition in coming to Him or those who use Him for what they can get from Him. He wants to share His heart among friends. In a sense, He wants to sit down and have coffee with us! Not because He wants something from us - He just likes us! Pure pleasure!!!

Jesus' Heart for the Broken and His Desire to Raise up Lovers

Jesus' heart is for the poor. Many of my heroes are those who have allowed the Lord to break their hearts for the broken ones. Those who have spent years sitting among the poor, feeding them, bandaging their wounds, and loving them. Oh what an invitation we have as lovers of God to enter into the heart of Jesus. How He loves the forgotten ones of society - the outcasts, the orphans and other needy children, widows, and elderly. For it is these who are His inheritance and His reward. Jesus' heart of justice is so alive for these that He is looking for people who He can poor His heart into.What better reward can we have then just knowing that we helped to usher in and bring forth Jesus' inheritance by bringing His healing and touch to those less fortunate. For me love is a supernatural thing. Anyone can be "fake nice," if you know what I mean. The more we sit at the feet of Jesus, the more we will experience the love that we will fully know in eternity. It is a love that brings humility and brokeness. It's true - we can encounter the love that is in heaven. There is nothing on earth like it. In Revelations, it speaks of a river flowing from the throne of God that will bring healing to the nations. Jesus wants to make us into lovers and from that position make us those that bring healing to the nations (our families, co-workers, neighborhoods, cities, etc.).

What an incredible invitation! Raise up lovers!

In My Father's Arms

Here's a poem describing part of my journey with my Father! It's simple, but for me very profound. His love has changed me.

In my Father's arms I'm hiding,
In my Father's arms I'm near.
In my Father's arms I'm slowly
Recovering from all my fears.

In my Father's arms I'm resting,
In my Father's arms I cling.
In my Father's arms I linger,
My heart is quiet, yet I sing.

In my Father's arms I'm heard,
In my Father's arms I'm healed.
In my Father's arms I'm wanted,
And in this promise I am sealed.

In my Father's arms is kindness,
In my Father's arms I cry.
Tears of joy and tears of gladness,
For I'm the apple of His eye.

No Longer Forsaken

What is the power of a name? If we think of objects or anything in the world besides people, the name of an object is what gives it its identity. We know a door is a door because a door in our language means a door (say that ten times!). God specifically wanted things on the earth to have names. Adam named the animals in the Garden of Eden. It's a part of His plan that names are a part of our lives. Names give identity and understanding to what we are talking about.

In Isaiah 62:2-4 it states, "...you will be called by a new name that the mouth of the Lord will bestow. You will be a crown of splendor in the Lord's hand, a royal diadem in the hand of your God. No longer will they call you Deserted or name your land Desolate. But you will be called Hephzibah and your land Beulah, for the Lord God will take delight in you..."The Lord has a name for every one of us. He has an identity for us that is different than the identity we carry here on the earth. It is the identity that we were created to have. The verse goes on to explain just what this name means. It says you will be called a crown of splendor in the Lord's hand, a royal diadem in the hand of your God. You will be something of value, something that is wanted and desired after. When we want to keep something safe and protected, we hold it close, often in our hands. The Lord not only desires us, but holds us in His hands, a picture of how He won't let go of us because we are so valued by Him. We are a crown of splendor...we are royalty in the Lord's eyes. An important key to really understanding this is that the LORD is the one who speaks these things over our lives. We may or may not ever feel this kind of love from earthly relationships, but the promise is that God really does feel this way about us. This is our true identity before God. Many of us stand before God in condemnation and shame when God is wanting to speak our true identity into our hearts.

What is the name that God wants to free us from? This verse describes the name, or identity, that we often get stuck in. It is a lie that the Lord wants to break over our hearts. It describes this identity as, "No longer will they call you Deserted or name your land Desolate." In another version it says "forsaken." Someone who feels forsaken feels unvaluable, unloved, and not wanted. If they were wanted, someone would care, someone would come, someone would respond. They feel alone, unseen, lost. They go through the day to day routine of life and they are left feeling empty, alone, and not sure of what is ahead. They don't feel secure with who they are or where they are going because they are filled with disappointments from other people and are often disappointed in whom they themselves have become. No one cares. No one sees. No one notices. They are deserted and desolate.

So what is the actual name this verse says the Lord speaks over us instead? It says, "But you will be called Hephzibah, and your land Buelah, for the Lord God will take great delight in you." Hephzibah means "my delight is in you" and Buelah means "married." Someone who is married has been pursued and wanted -- they have been sought out. The fact is that God is pursuing our hearts. He is the great pursuer. You are being sought out by God Himself and He delights in you. Our identity is that we are loved by God, wanted by Him, and the very priceless possession He holds in His hands. Anything other than that is a false identity that can only be broken by our minds being renewed by what they Word says about us. We are truly loved by Him.

Words Heal. Words Kill. A Glimpse of God's Heart.

Words are very powerful. They can wound. They can heal. They cut to the very core of our being and can either help complete us or bring a deepening to the wounds in our heart. Words are an outward manifestation that affects us inwardly. That's why people in authority have a huge responsibility. They can help mold someone into something beautiful just by the words they speak over them. They can tear someone down and affect someones self-esteem easily. People carry wounds from hearing words that bruised their hearts during childhood. Words may be the most powerful thing on earth. Our hearts are affected by words because there is power behind them. Someone who speaks with a kind heart will spread kindness and love to others and bring beauty. Others will speak from a heart of bitterness or anger, or just hurt. Words reflect the state of our own hearts and affect others.

This is why it is so powerful when we really encounter the real heart of God. Our hearts are changed. I'm not talking about a normal religious church service. I'm talking about a real heart to heart encounter with Jesus. It is impossible that a heart can stay the same - His heart is so full of love for us that when we get even a small glimpse of what He is like, we change. What do we change into? We become like Him. We become lovers of God...and in the end, we learn to love others. When we encounter the presence of Jesus, we become carriers of His love to others in need. This is what He desires - to pour His powerful love into our lives that others can see it in us - almost like a fragrance that we carry. And in speaking of words...we talk about how words are a reflection of what is in someone's heart. It's an outward manifestation of a heart. In Proverbs it says, "out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks." So there is an overflow that comes from our hearts and out of our mouths. It either kills or heals. There is an overflow that comes from the heart of God also. It is an everflowing, neverceasing flow of heaven's love and healing that He wants to make known to you and I. Can you imagine being around someone who constantly says positive things about you, encourages you, and tells you good things about you all the time? That is what God is like. So what is the heart of God like, and what does He say about us? To know what He says, we must understand His heart.

In Psalms 45, it speaks of Jesus and says, "...your lips have been anointed with grace." There is power in anointing, so His lips, or words are a powerful flow of grace. Now the word "grace" may sound very religious to some of us, but have you ever been around someone who is gracious? There is a kindness, a gentleness, a mercy that they carry. They are easy to be around and there is a sense of safety, a feeling that you can be yourself. How much more does Jesus carry these things towards us? His words are gracious because He has a heart of mercy. His heart is loving and gentle, therefore He speaks with grace and tenderness towards us. I remember being a child and being so afraid when I did something wrong and my dad found out. I knew I was in for it...I knew a spanking was coming. I remember a few times when He walked up to me and siad He knew what I did, and then started joking around with me and laughing about it. Instead of a spanking I got a big hug. What relief my little heart had! This is the heart of our Father. I'm not saying that He does not discipline us when it is necessary, but He is not an angry God. He is a gentle shephard who loves and cares for us in our weakness. He is nicer than we think, more merciful than we are aware of, and His heart is overflowing with love and grace towards us. We have no idea how much we are loved. You might be thinking (like i sometimes think), "Why can't I just feel it? Why can't it just be more real to me?" We won't always feel it...it won't always be easy. There is times where all we can do is trust and believe that what He says in His word is true. And He says He loves us. In Matthew it speaks of a man who was searching for pearls. When He found one, He sold everything He had to buy it. This is the heart of God towards you. God is pursuing hearts all over the world in this very moment. He is pursuing you and has been your entire life...you may realize, you may not realize it. But He is. There is nothing He did not give to have you -- you are so important to Him. There may be no one in your life that understands what you're going through or how you feel. He sees it all, and loves you easily. You are the pearl of great price, the one He is pursuing. Others may devalue you, look down on you, or speak negatively over you. Yet, you are the precious and pricely pearl Jesus gave everything for. I encourage you to open up your heart and listen to the voice that has more power than any other. Jesus, whose lips are anointed with grace, stands waiting to speak His healing words into your broken heart. He knows you, sees you, and loves you. He is more than willing to prove Himself to you if you open up and let Him. He wants to take that pearl that has been trampled down and molded by other peoples views and words and create it to be what it is supposed to be. You were meant to be the object of God's affection, His delight. You were meant to feel like a favorite. He has no favorites, but when He loves us, it makes us feel like we are His favorite because we are uniquely designed to fill the heart of God like no one else could that He has created. He chooses you and wants you just because of who you are. You are the hidden pearl, the one He longs to bring into His healing embrace and you don't disappoint Him. What do you need in life? He is a professional heart healer and counselor - He takes our baggage from our past and fills us with healing and love. What do you need healed from? Broken relationships, addiction, abuse, neglect...whatever it is, it is nothing compared to the incredible power there is in the heart of God. He can bring you close, so close that everthing else disappears and becomes nothing in the light of His face and countenance.

There have been times that I just needed to hear Him say that I'm ok...that small whisper into my heart that says He is still with me and will never leave me. He doesn't change - He is the same through life's changes. Just to feel the peace of His presence sustains my heart. He will never leave us. He is the great lover of all lovers and He loves with such purity and passion that everything else melts that comes in contact with Him. He takes our fear, rejection, and insecurities and speaks truth over us. He knows our hearts and knows how to heal them. He delights in broken people. He delights in the forgotten, the forsaken, the one who has been cast out and betrayed. Oh how he loves you more than any other could ever love you. What hope there is in Him!

A Heavenly Perspective

I've been thinking lately about how Jesus lived on the earth and what He was thinking...how He handled situations knowing the big picture of everything. He comprehended fully that God existed before everything He was seeing with His eyes. He comprehended fully the future and what would take place in the coming days, years, decades, etc to come. He knew it all. He understood completely that He was dealing with the frailty of human hearts and they would eventually kill Him. He knew He would be betrayed, hated, and that He would experience the fullness of injustice. So how did He conquer it all? What did He set His mind upon? His reward had to have been the love that He had experienced between Him and His Father. His priority was not people, although this was the main reason He came to earth. At times He told them to leave Him alone so He could be alone with the Father. He would go to alone places -- moutain tops, etc just to be alone with Him. He set His heart on what the Father wanted Him to do. This affected His relationships (those who He got close to), the places He went, and the things He said. He was completely led by the Father because His heart was not set on gaining a place of leadership or fame on the earth. It is difficult to live this way, but this is what we are called to. EVeryone of us is able to hear God's voice, be led by His Spirit, and walk in His ways. Training our hearts to be a tune to it is what takes time and effort. Quieting our hearts before God and not letting worry, stress, and other things crowd His voice is sometimes very hard. Just merely finding a quiet place is sometimes nearly impossible! Yet our hearts are made to experience and live in the presence of Jesus. He doesn't love us anymore or less when we spend a lot, or not very much, time with Him. But, letting the peace of God rule in our hearts on a daily basis will conquer negative thoughts, accusations from the enemy, depression, etc. The Word of God cuts through all of that and brings peace and truth to our hearts. Now, we are human. We will all have days, or season, where it does not feel peaceful. What an opportunity for us to trust Him that He still holds us in His hands in those seasons!

My Birthday Date With Jesus

I basically thought this day was very low on the todem pole of my birthdays. I had some stuff planned tonight, but because of numerous situations and circumstances in several of my friends' lives, I didn't get to do much. Because the situations could not be controlled by my friends (people in the hospital, etc), I really wasn't too upset that I didn't do much on my b-day. We are just going to celebrate on a different day. But still throughout the day, one is reminded often that it is a birthday, which is, in my opinion, a pretty important day that should be counted worthy of our attention. So even though I really wasn't throwing a pity party, the natural feeling of "wow, it's my b-day" would spring up ever so often and then I was reminded that..."oh...wait...i'll have to celebrate it another day because of this and that and that...."

Anyways...it actually got better. I know what you're thinking. Someone brought me flowers, right? Nope. Someone...asked me to dinner? Negative. Someone...bought me a brand new Taylor guitar? I wish. This is what occurred...I HAD A DATE WITH JESUS. Now. I know that sounds completely ridiculous and just plain cheesy. But I was really shocked because it was planned by Him, not me. He had this night planned all day. He wanted to be with me tonight. Alone!! With me!! So on my 28th b-day, I had a date with the Lord. Do you want to know the details? Ok, Ok...of course you do!...everyone wants to know the details of a good date, right? This is how it went...I sat on my couch at approximately 8:30pm wondering what in the heck I was going to do for the rest of the night. I have been so busy lately that my guitar playing has been slackin, so I thought of the most wonderful idea. I decided to get my guitar and go outside. I do this every so often...it's just something about being in nature in a place where it's quiet that does my heart good. It just brings such a rest and peace on the inside of me that is so very often needed. So...i walk outside and sit down first on the chair in my back yard and just started playing a little....sang a little...played a little....sang and played a little. The most beautiful sunset began to form. So I sang a little and watched the sunset...played a little and watched the sunset...and thanked Him for that sweet little reminder that His mercies are new every day! When the sun rises in the morning new mercies await me! What good news. They never run out, which is good because I've used up a lot of His mercies and need so much more! No worries -- He has a brand new supply for us every 24 hours! Then, as the sun went down, I moved from the chair, which was under the porch, to sitting on the concrete under the sky. I sang a little...played a little...and watched the sky change colors until black covered it. Then, I layed down on the ground! I've never layed down before while playing my guit. But there was just something about tonight that made me want to look into the sky. So I did just that...and hoped there were no bugs that were going to get me! And I sang to the Lord. And played to the Lord. And gazed up at the huge sky with so many stars staring down at me. And the whole time realizing that the Lord had this whole date planned out for me on my b-day. I thought, "Lord, you just wanted me to yourself tonight, didnt' you?! Ha! You did, didn't you!! You rascal! I love you!" I was enjoying myself singing into the sky knowing that my voice echoed all the way into the heavens into the very heart of God. I can't see Him, but He sees me. He heard my little voice! I thought about my 28 years on the earth and how He has taken care of me, loved me, and covered me. Then the most incredible thing happened. He spoke to me. AAAAAAhhhh! I know, I know! God speaks to us a lot, but I never want to get so accustomed to Him speaking to me that it becomes just another part of my life. I love that God speaks to us and honestly, I love hearing His voice and knowing that He is paying attention to my little life in Norman, OK! There is nothing like it. Just knowing that He loves me enough that He wants to tell me something, anything! I don't care what it has to do with or how important it is or isn't. Just the mere fact that God wants to say SOMETHING - ANYTHING to me just wrecks me! I live for the times that I know He speaks to me - it's like food for my soul that just echoes from year to year.

So do you want to hear what He told me? It's the best thing EVER (considering how my day had gone). I get goosebumps thinking about it - and I hope when you read it you capture the essense of the moment like I did. He spoke this into my heart: "Marci, you have an audience tonight. There is no one around you that you can see, but you have gotten the attention of angels that have joined in your singing tonight. You may think you are alone on your b-day, but you are not! You are surrounded by an audience of worshippers!" DO YOU REALIZE WHAT THAT DID TO MY LITTLE HEART??!!! For crying out loud people --- Do I feel loved or what? I mean here I was thinking that I was goign to have a yucky and bored b-day, when all the time the Lord had planned a date with me and the angels! Is that not the sweetest little story you have ever heard! Is that not like our Lord! My heart is stunned by His incredible love -- that He would notice me on such a day like today and know that it is important to Him as well! So there ya go - my wonderful b-day date! What a gift!

The Mystery of God Living In Me!

I feel like a small child writing this blog. Anyone who has been raised in church, spent any amount of time in church, or just knows the basics about christianity knows the fact that the God of the universe lives inside of us. But sitting on my couch tonight I began to play my guitar and the truth of it all just hit me and I just sat there in awe!!! The God of the universe lives in me?!! What the heck! It is a mystery that I can't wrap my finger around and I never will be able to until I see Him. Why in the world is He so interested in us? In either 1 or 2 Corinthians it talks about how His glory is in jars of clay, which speaks of us. He has chosen to put His incredible glory in breakable, unstable, and inconsistant containers called humans. And not only has He chosen that way, but He delights in it! I just don't get it...I mean, really, folks! This is a mystery! Not only are we His dwelling place, but He longs for a deeper, more intimate relationship with every one of us more than we can imagine. His heart of friendship is always pursuing us.
My view of God has changed so much in the last 10 years. I used to think He was so disappointed in me and that I could never possibly measure up to His standards. And I was a "good" kid! No matter how "good" we think we are (which none of us are really "good" compared to His goodness and love), there is a part of us that is broken and unable to live up to a perfect life. It just ain't happenin'. I have definately not become more perfect in the last ten years...if anything, I have become more aware of who I am in my weakness. I used to think maturity was becoming more perfect. Now I know maturity is the ability to receive God's love and affection in my imperfection. It's knowing I am weak and letting God love me. Therefore, I will always run to God no matter what state my heart is in because I know He is for me not against me - even on the days that I am pretty much a moody, not so fun/nice person to be around He loves me!! AAAAHH! That is soooo good to know! When others leave, He stays. When others are disappointed, He is smiling. When others cast a stone, He approves! He is so consistant and His love covers a multitude of sins. This is the good news of the gospel -- this is why I love Him! Because His love is so much bigger than my little heart that pays way too much attention to meaningless things and can't quite grasp the small little messages He tries to send me through situations and circumstances. Oh yes, more than ever before I am aware of my weakness! And I am happy about it because more than ever before I am aware of His love for me!

So...this God of perfect and pure love lives in ME. Today the message that I have heard for 27 years seems to be ringing loud and clear in my heart. Jesus lives in my heart - I am His dwelling place. All He wants is friends, guys. He no longer calls us "slaves" but "friends." How incredible is that?! So if you're head is hanging low and you're in a not so great place, just know that His attention is on you. He is interested in us more than we even know. So interested that He was willing to give it all so that there might be friendship between us and Him. During my guitar playing on my couch I starting singing a simple, yet profound little song from my little heart. It speaks of my heart and it went something like this, "This is the place you have made for you. May you have my heart. May you have my mind. This is the place you long to be." And I sat there thinking about my heart and my mind. Does He really own it? Does He really have my thoughts and my attitudes, or heart? Or do I just simply talk about Him in words with no inner reality? There was this feeling that rose up on the inside of me - this longing that He would have that place that was created just for Him. He wants our hearts, which means our emotions, our will, our attitudes, etc. He wants our thoughts... So, let's make an effort to give Him what He so desires.

I read a book called "Practicing the Presence of God." It is basically about a man who worked in a kitchen and He decided to "practice" keeping His mind and thoughts centered on God while He worked during the day. He wrote that it was difficult at first, but as He practiced it more and more, He began to experience the presence of God in a very real way throughout His day. Maybe you think you don't have the time to be the kind of person that spends hours and hours with God on a daily basis. Well, join the majority of the world! I encourage you to try thinking about Him while you're at work, school, etc. Give Him your thoughts during the day. Our hearts really are the dwelling place for God's presence! He is jealous for YOUR heart and YOUR mind!!!

Finding Him in the Fire!

Two or three weeks ago I had a dream that I was standing in a fire and it was not a pleasant feeling. My view changed and I was now looking into the fire and I saw something astounding. There standing in the flames stood a huge lion. I wasn't afraid of the lion...actually, I knew the moment I looked at it that the lion symbolized (or however you want to say it) Jesus Himself. Yet, this was no cute kitty. I was looking straight into the eyes of the "Lion of Judah." There was a fierceness in His eyes that I can't really explain. I love the gentleness and sweetness of Jesus, but the picture I was seeing of Him was anything but that. In all of this, I was not afraid. I just watched Him as He moved about in the flames with an intensity and confidence that was obvious. There was no fear in Him. Strength flowed from His very presence and even fire, which burns up anything in it's way, could not overpower the presence of this Lion.

I woke up and I knew the Lord had given me this dream. Fire can mean many things to us. The Word speaks of the fire of temptation or the firy trials that God allows us to go through. It can mean the purification that a situation will bring in our lives. It is times of difficulty and pressure that God allows for good. One thing we all know. When the fire comes, it is not a pleasant vacation on the beach. It's a time when God places His finger on our lives. David says in Psalms "You've hedged me in behind and before, you've laid your hand upon me." There are times when God puts His finger on our hearts and we feel His love...His embrace...His comfort. But oh how different the fire is! It also comes from God. It is sent to purify us, to change us, to transform us. When we are in the middle of the fire we think we are going to die. We think it's a fire from hell when really it's the fire from God - the fire sent straight out of the heart of a love sick God. You see - His motives towards us are loving no matter what season we are in. He loves us so incredibally that He will allow situations to arise that will change us. He loves gently. But when the Lion of Judah comes, get ready for a purification to happen in your life. Get ready to DIE to yourself and become aware of your humanity more than ever before. Oh yes, it's a wonderful thing! In the midst of the fire we will find Him. We will find that strength of a Lion standing in the fire with us and we will come out with such dependency and trust in Him because every selfish ungodly ugly thing inside of us has been allowed to come forth. We become aware of two things. One - our weakness. Two - His strength. So let it burn baby! Yah, it may hurt, but the fire is burning up everything we don't want inside of us anyways!

Like I wrote earlier, when we are in the fire, we feel as though God is literally destroying our lives. Sometimes I want to just ask Him, "What the heck are you doing???" With all respect of course! Job asked that question lots of times. He said in Job 10:8 "Your hands shaped me and made me. Will you now turn and destory me?" He was experiencing the fire. Yet, look at God's motives. He wasn't doing it because Job was in trouble with God. He was doing it to prove Satan wrong. He knew Job would come out ok and He wanted to prove Job's heart to Satan. See, if only we could know the heart of God in the midst of the storm or fire we would not be offended at God. Satan told God Job would be offended when all of the precious things in His life were taken from Him. But God knew Job. And He was willing to prove that to Satan. Can you imagine if Job knew that all of the trouble occurred in his life as a result of a dang bet between God and Satan? Yet, He would not be wondering of God had left Him - He would not be doubting Him. He would press on and cling to that which He had known in the past - the faithfulness of His God. Job also writes in 7:17-20 "What is man that you make so much of him, that you give him so much attention, that you examine him every morning and test him every moment? Will you never look away from me or leave me alone for just an instant? If I have sinned, what have I done to you, o watcher of men? Why have you made me your target? Have I become a burden to you?" He was basically asking God to lay off for awhile - His hand was on Him too heavy. He needed a break from the fire...the hand of God on his life was overwhelming him. God had targeted Job and all because of how much He loved Him! He was the most righteous and blameless of all the people in the land. How in the heck did Job not get offended? It was a test - a firy test from God and God knew Job would pass it. Satan was allowed to touch the very heart of Job - the very things that he loved most were destroyed.

I get a daily prophetic word through my email. Today's word was what inspired me to write this blog. Here it is:

I have been with you in your times of testing and trials, says the Lord. The fires of purification have burned white hot, and you have come through your ordeal changed -- transformed by your faith and dependence upon Me. There were times when you would rather have been translated or transfigured, but you have learned obedience through the things you have suffered. And, you are stronger spiritually than ever. These afflictions were exactly what you needed to stimulate your spiritual growth. Hebrews 5:8 Though He was a Son, yet He learned obedience by the things which He suffered.

Pain

We've all heard the saying "iron sharpens iron" meaning that we as individuals grow the most when we are placed in situations where we can form meaningful relationships with those around us. God is not in the business of placing us in isolation as a form of maturing in Him. A large part of maturing in Him is when we form a "family" around us whom we can share our lives with. Communicating and encouraging one another in both strong times and seasons of weakness is a part of His plan. This was His idea. Red flags need to go really high when someone is too good to open up and share their lives with others as a result of being too spiritually mature or having the sense that others are way below their realm of humanity. It takes some humility to share our lives with one another. Not only that, but trust! Lord knows we've all been hurt and the more someone is hurt, the less likely they are to open up to the next person who comes along. Rejection seems to seep in somewhere in the process which leaves us afraid and unwilling to share with someone else those deep, maybe even shameful, parts of our lives. But -- still, beyond all of that, it's still necessary that we have people around us for us to grow in the Lord!
Let me give you insite into some of my history. In highschool and in my earliest years of college I held a wonderful view of who I was. I was always known as the good girl who could make everyone smile and feel better. In school I was the christian girl who was known for her innonence and just plain niceness. I never partied and in some sense was seen as perfect. I can say those things about me because it's been said to me about myself! And honestly, I really did sincerely love my Lord as much as I knew how to. My nature was sweet, but underneath all of that was this hidden pride that I didn't even know I had. Hiding behind my sweet innocent life was some ugliness that I wouldn't encounter until later in my college years when the Lord decided to bring a needed shaking to my life. Oh yes...the joy of being broken is something that isn't joyful at all until you're at the end of the process. That is just what I needed is some brokeness in my life. I didnt' know I needed it. I, like everyone else, really didn't think I needed a thing. I definately didn't need anyone else.I had my life together. I woke up an hour early to spend time with the Lord every morning. I thought this was all I needed...I had a strong relationship with Him, but there was a part of my heart that needed some adjusting and the Lord knew exactly what to allow in my life that would do the job! It's called HUMILITY!!! One symptom of pride that I had was thinking I was everyone's gift on the earth and I could fix anyone. I never remember going to anyone and asking for help or prayer. I was "strong." I didnt need anyone else. I was a step higher than everyone else and didn't need to ask for help. Well, let's just say that has definately changed in my life! And I am better now because of it. Brokenness comes in our lives because we cannot see others the way He sees them until we realize our own brokenness and humanity. I am no different than the man who beats his wife, the prostitute on the street, or the murderer (although I do need reminded of this at times!). We will not reach out to others who are hurting until we can somewhat identify with how they feel. Someone like me who had some self righteous issues at a young age needed to go through some shaking in my early years to get all of that pride out of me.
Like I said earlier, iron does sharpen iron. I am changed into the image of Christ when I am humble enough to open up my life to those around me. This may mean receiving correction, rebuke, or offering a necessary forgiveness. May we allow the Lord to work and mold us into a vessel of love and humility. First of all loving Him and secondly loving our neighbor - no matter what they look like, sound like, where they live, how they dress, or even smell (ha). I don't know about you, but I want to become more like Him. If we are serious about that, we can expect a few bumps and bruises along the way.
The scripture I've been reading lately is Job 5:17,18 "Blessed is the man whom God corrects; so do not despise the discipline of the Almighty. For he wounds but He also binds up; He injures but He also heals."
No matter what He allows in our life, we can know that it will bring about good and we will grow from it. Pearls are formed by adding pressure and our lives are no different. The pain in my life has been the very thing that has shaped me into who God has called me to be!

Striving

I believe a little bit of reflection on life every once in awhile can be very healthy and beneficial for us...So, were gonna do it! I encourage you to take a moment and think about the things you strive for...be honest! For some it's providing needs for others such as kids or other family members. For others it's finding a good job or being successful in life. For others it's being happy. The fact is that we strive for several things in life.

What did Jesus say about striving? As far as the religious leaders in His day, He had a lot to say about striving. He called them hypocrites for having wrong motives in their hearts. They desired the praise of people. They craved the feeling that came from other people noticing them pray, fast, and do other outward spiritual activities. For them, they strived to be seen by people and had no inner character or integrity. I think we would all agree that we see this in our day. I'm not going to spend my time on this blog bashing the church in this area because I myself am one who struggles with it. I find myself in the middle of worship wondering if "so and so" is enjoying the worship. I ask myself questions like, "Should I stay on this song longer? What if they're tired?" and other ridiculous thoughts that clog my mind and stop me from entering into true worship. The fact is we all strive to be liked and enjoyed by others. We want to be accepted and we all go to different lengths for that to occur. Unfortunately sometimes the consequences are not worth the short pleasure it brings.

Jesus talked about how there is a place in God where we can be that no one else sees. There is a secret place - a history with God that only you and Him know about. It's a place so intimate in His heart about your life and He really delights in it. Think about the word intimate. Two people cannot be intimate with ten other people around (well, they CAN, but you get what I'm say'n!). God makes it clear He wants a relationship with us. And not just any relationship with us. He wants to be first - He wants us to love Him the most - and He goes so far as to say that He is crazilly jealous over all of us! Sounds like a lover to me!He wants intimacy with us! And that can only occur when we create a secret place, or space, where it's just us and God. When teaching on prayer, He said we should go into our closets and pray. In other words, go to a place where it's just us and God. The temptation to be noticed by men will not be there and a true pure motive is created that is a fresh cry of just wanting to be with God. I don't think He is looking at us angrily saying something like, "I expect you to be humble and never be honored...and besides that, I don't want anyone to ever notice anything good you do on the earth. And, you need to not have any friends - you just need to be with me!" No way! He said if we do things just to be accepted by men, that is the only reward we get! So, I see God as a really good daddy whose arms are full of rewards awaiting us. But, He can't give them unless we really see as He sees and realize that our true reward is in the secret place where it's just us and God. In this place we give money, time, etc and never have to tell a soul because we are doing it before Him. There is something about doing things in secret that the Father really notices. I dont understand it, but I know He is really pleased when we live our lives under the audience of one!

So when thinking about the issue of striving - let's really take a look at our lives...what is God calling us to strive for? Are our hearts living under His yoke that is easy and burden free? Are we experiencing His peace? If not, we may be striving for the wrong things and our priorities may be out of line. If so, don't beat yourself up - just realign your life so you can experience that love and peace you were created for! He's ready to give it to all of us if we just make room for Him. It's not striving to be perfect. It's making a space for God to show up in our life by doing things in secret. It may be setting aside time in the morning or night just to pray by yourself. It may be secretly giving extra money to a need that can benefit someone else. It can be as simple as sending a card to someone who is having a bad day. It's those little simple things that we can do in secret that move the heart of God. Something to think about also is the fact that when God helps you, He doesn't announce it to the world - how humble is that? The God of the universe reaches down from the balcony of heaven to help us and He does it quietly...He is calling us to do the same! Let honor come if it comes. But don't make it happen!

I Wanna Be Poor

To find a quiet place is not an easy thing to do in our world. Even harder is to have and keep a quiet heart - to have quietness and peace inwardly is something that takes work...it takes time and someone that is willing to put some effort into having a place where God's rest can abide.
David was a man that encountered God in his everyday job of looking after sheep. This job was considered way low on the totem pole as far as jobs in his day. He was probably looked at as not important, or unvalued...but during this time of looking after his sheep, he encountered God. God used this time when it was just the two of them in the middle of a pasture with no one else around to birth a relationship that would later be the very foundation that God used to rule a nation. He had no other distractions...no one else to pull on him for his time. All he had was nature, his God, and the task of caring for some sheep!
Distractions are our worst enemy - especially in our culture and day. When I went to Honduras a few years ago, something was awakened on the inside of me. It was a longing to lay aside the things that surround us that, in the view of eternity, will have no value. I saw something in the Hondurans that I wanted...in their poor state, they were rich in relationship and prayer with God - which was obvious. They knew how to worship - they loved Him because they depended on Him for everything - daily! Here I was as a 25 year old...I've never starved, been in need of shelter, or went a day without showering. Yet, I was able, by the grace of God, to see how poor I really was. I want to be rich in Him - and that can only happen through leaning and trusting in Him for everything. In America we don't need much, so sometimes our relationship with God is put on the back burner. Right now in my life I'm in the middle of trying to figure out how in the world I can live as someone who is "poor in spirit" in a world of materialism and greed...it's not easy and the price is sometimes harder than we think. The fact is, it's harder to trust God in a nation that has everything we've ever needed - and more, for that matter!
Like I said earlier, David was a man with a history with God. It wasn't a history of encountering Him in a church service with other people. He had this intimate, one-on-one relationship wtih God that no one else knew about until later in His life. He knew the secret of knowing God for Himself and being around people that knew Him would never be enough for David because He tasted of a relationship with God that nothing else would satisfy. For years it was just Him and God!
I love my friendships...I wouldn't be able to go through life's seasons if it was not for the incredible people God has placed in my life. They are scattered everywhere...some are in my city - others are throughout the state - others are throughout the nation - and then still, others are in different countries. Yet, even in knowing the importance of these people and how precious it is of the Father to bring them into my life, I know that if I do not, at some point in my day or week, spend time alone with God, my strength will soon fade. We desperately need others. But if we put all our dependency on others, we'll stand disappointed and empty. This is easier said than done because we can see people with our eyes. Trusting in a God we cannot see takes true faith and belief that He is who He says He is. Does He really love me enough to take care of me in this season? Can I trust that You will come through with what you said? It's hard...but the reward is incredible. The secret place with God is like the eye of a storm. The noise surrounds us - panic, worry, fear, being uncertain about life, etc. The noise can almost do us in. But there is a place of peace and rest. It's a small little place, but it's still a place! No one can go with you into that place - it's just a place for you and God. But if you go, you will be changed forever because it's only in that place of surrender will we learn to trust and lean on Him. He will prove Himself to you, but often He allows trouble to occur in our lives that will drive us to Him. It's really the only safe place in life!

Beautiful Jesus

I love who Jesus is attracted to. It's so different than who you and I are attracted to. He loves so differently...so purely. We tend to be attracted to outward appeareance or personality. It's so different for him. He loves the unloved, the friendless, those in need. His love is so beautiful and it can fill every lonely hurting heart anywhere in the world. He chooses the not so good looking ones, the not so talented, the not so popular. And He brings them near to His big heart and heals them with His embrace. I love who He is. And I really want to be more like that. After all, I'm one of many He has offered this free gift of incredible love. I'm blown away by His love - it stays the same through every season...and I've had many. Sometimes I just ask Him what in the world is He going to do with me - someone who is so fragile, so inconsistant, so unperfect. Then I sense His smile upon my life and I'm wrecked again and in awe of someone who can love someone like me this way. May we allow Him to love us into being lovers!!! There are so many hurting people - so many that just need a word of hope. Life is so short. Whatever you have to do to change me, than do it. Make me a lover whose heart is alive with the reality of Jesus. He sees beauty in everyone - and especially the poor, the broken, homeless, the motherless/fatherless, and those that have nothing. This is who He chooses. Brake us Lord - and give us your incredible heart!!! It's big enough for all of us! There is healing in His embrace.

Mistakes

A connection between Kindergarten and our lives!

As most of you know, my life is wonderfully consumed with Kindergarten. I love it. I’m reading this book on guidance and it’s talking about appropriate discipline in the classroom. It states that mistakes are developmentally appropriate for children. I’m sure most of you know what that means, but I’ll put it in simpler terms. As a teacher, you have to know and expect the kind of behavior that will be happening on a day to day basis. Older kids can sit longer than younger kids, so teachers plan accordingly. A teacher should not be shocked when a five year old begins to poke, kick, bite, take their shoes off, lay down, undress, or whatever they want to do when they’ve been sitting at the carpet for an hour! It’s no longer the kid’s fault, but the teacher’s when that happens. It’s just not appropriate for 5 year olds to sit all day! Kindergarten days are active. Developmentally you cannot expect them to sit at desks for hours upon hours. It aint happen’n!

So, as a teacher I know that one important factor that will be happening every day of the school year is MISTAKES! Kindergarten students will be experiencing a lot of social problems that they have never experienced (fighting over paint brushes, sharing a book, cutting in line, etc). If I expect there to be no mistakes in my class, I’m in for a big suprise. As a matter of fact, Kindergarten is all about making mistakes and it being ok! Students should feel safe in making mistakes. It’s perfectly ok that my student draws a horse that can fly with pink and purple polka dots or spell words wrong. My job is to guide them to do it differently next time, not to make them feel like they are a failure.

I can’t help but think God has a similar perspective when looking at us here on earth. I think he would say that mistakes are developmentally appropriate for us. It’s going to happen! Life is just like a kindergarten classroom - a safe place to make mistakes. But, if our view of authority and of God is not right, we will be shame based and feel as if we are a disappointment to God and others. But, if we view life as a "safe place to make mistakes," we know that when we make a mistake, we won’t have to sit in God’s time out corner, put our nose in a circle on the heavenly chalk board, or write our bible scriptures ten times perfectly! God’s job, just like a good teacher, is to guide us to do it differently next time, not to make us feel like a failure. Just like students, some of us will catch on the first time we make a mistake, others will make the same mistake several times before we learn there is a better way of doing it. The truth is, mistakes are a big part of our life - probaby one of the most important parts of our life! Knowing that, I can sure handle my own life better and be a whole lot patient with others!

Therefore, my new motto is "MISTAKES ARE DEVELOPMENTALLY APPROPRIATE!!!"

When We Have Nothing We Have Him

Psalms 146:4-9 "Blessed is he whose help is the God of Jacob, whose hope is in the Lord his God, the maker of heaven and earth, the sea, and everything in them- the Lord, who remains faithful forever. He upholds the cause of the oppressed and gives food to the hungry. The Lord sets prisoners free, the Lord gives sight to the blind, the Lord lifts up those who are bowed down, the Lord loves the righteous. The Lord watches over the alien and sustains the fatherless and the widow.
This reading gives us such insite into who Jesus is and what He does. It gives us insite into what He is interested in and WHO is interested in.
It speaks of who He is interested in (I don’t think this is a complete list, but it gives us a good picture of the heart of God): the oppressed, the hungry, prisoners, the blind, the bowed down, the alien (outcast), fatherless, and widow. Jesus was drawn to these kinds of people when He was on the earth. He looked for the people that didn’t have...the people that were missing something in their life...the people that others overlooked...the one that thought they had been forgotten. These were the ones Jesus noticed. He noticed them when no one else did.

It describes what Jesus does. It describes what ministry that comes from Jesus looks like. Awe...and it’s beautiful. It wasn’t enough that he found these types of people, he actually acted on the compassion He felt in His heart. This is what He does: he upholds, he gives food, he sets free, he gives sight, he lifts up, he watches over, and he sustains.
If you’re missing something in your life, can’t see your future, don’t understand your circumstances, feel alone, feel like an outcast, or feel like a prisoner then you are just the one that God longs to love. Often in these times we feel as though he has abandoned us. It’s in these times that He is with us the most. Think of what it must feel like to be a widow. You’ve lost the person you have loved the most. There must be a feeling of emptiness and loneliness in the heart of a widow. Yet, Jesus promises to sustain. He promises to watch over them. The fatherless and motherless of the earth...they hold such a place in the heart of the Father. Yet, the child must feel alone and abandoned. My point is, Jesus never promised we would have everything we wanted, or even need on this earth. Every kind of person that is listed is someone who is struggling in relationships or circumstances. I don’t know about you, but I’ve been in both situations several times. He did promise one thing though...

It says, He "remains faithful forever." To the widow He remains faithful. To the outcast He remains faithful. To the oppressed and prisoner He remains faithful. There are seasons where we can’t see it or feel it. Believe me, I know how difficult those seasons can be and I’m sure you do to. But, His promise is that He is faithful. It’s not about us feeling strong or feeling like we have control of our lives, or us knowing our future. It’s all about His strength and His love for us. His faithfulness and love does not change like shifting shadows. Think about shadows...they are always shifting because the sun is constantly in a different spot causing shadows to move. Yet, His faithfulness and love for us is unmovable. Circumstance or situations can never change His mind or heart. As long as we have a heart that turns towards Him, He promises His love and faithfulness. He doesn’t require us to be strong. He just requires a heart that turns toward Him in difficulty. In this particular scripture His promise is especially to those that are without, uncertain, confused, unloved, oppressed, the widow and the fatherless.

In every person there is a God given desire to be loved. As you know by now, more times than we want we may feel unloved and rejected. We were made for strong, healthy and loving relationships. Our hearts weren’t formed for rejection. It isn’t supposed to happen. Yet, it happens. Relationships change. And it sucks. And it hurts. Yet for every lonely person, for every disappointment and injustice, for every person that has been left behind by the one they thought loved them most, there is one that understands. There is one ready to love, comfort, uphold, sustain, and watch over. We don’t have to have it all together. We just have to have a heart that turns towards Him. For the weak person there is hope - He remains faithful forever. That’s really the only sure hope we have in the world.

I’m so glad He has loved me like this. There are times in my life that I have been around a ton of people, yet I feel so alone. There’s been times where I’ve wanted to give up...does anyone understand what I’m feeling? Not only that, but does anyone really care? There’s been times when I have not understood one bit what the Lord was doing in my life. There’s been times when I’ve been weighed down by lifes disappointments. It’s in these times the Lord has shown up. I’ve encountered Him as a friend, Father, and the love of my heart. But it has not been during "easy" seasons. It’s been in the middle of difficulty. He has proved His love to me and I write these words as someone who has been touched by the love of Jesus. Not because of my goodness, but because of my lack. I’m so serious when I say we don’t have to have it all together. I used to think we do. It’s through the process of bringing brokeness and humility in my life that the Lord has taught me about His love, tenderness, and faithfulness. I know when I see His face it’s not going to be all the great things I’ve done for Him that gets me into His Kingdom. It’s only going to be because of His goodness, kindness, and mercy He has poured out on me. He doesn’t treat us as we deserve, yet He delights in showing mercy and love to those that need it. He is the safe place we are longing for. We can rest in His embrace. Receive His love for you today...it’s a free gift! I’m SO thankful for Jesus! I would be such a mess without Him!

He is Not Ashamed of Us!

The longer I serve the Lord the more I realize something... I'm definately a broken human being. For me it has been a journey of grace. Maturity for me has not been becoming more perfect, but instead it has been the ability to accept the love of God in the midst of my brokeness. Someone who is immature in the love and grace of God will run from God when they sin. They'll beat themselves up over it. Someone who knows a little about the grace of God will not run from God when they sin. Instead, they have an understanding of His grace and acceptance and an understanding of their own sinful nature. Someone who does not have an understanding of the grace of God but does have an understanding that they are broken will live in condemnation and fear. In other words, they are perfectly aware that they are broken, but they have trouble receiving His love when they sin. Someone who doesn't have an understanding of either God's grace or their own brokeness will condemn easily, judge easily, and will not understand why people do the sinful things they do. Self righteousness comes from being blinded about ourselves and our own brokeness. The thing we must realize is that we don't know the fullness of our sinful nature. Have you ever had a situation arise where you realize a new part of yourself that you didn't know was there? You just found a part of your sinful nature that has never risen up before? Where the heck did that come from? Well, it's no suprise to God. He knows how dark and sinful we are. That's why my definition of maturity is having an understanding of both our sinful nature and the grace of God. One without the other seems to bring an unbalance to our lives.
In Hebrews it speaks about Jesus as our high priest - the one who is able to cleanse us from our sin. It gives a description of who a high priest is - there are very clear descriptions that paint a picture of who Jesus is towards us. I love Hebrews! In chapter 5 it gives the following requirements for the priests before Jesus came: 1) Must be selected from among men, 2) He represents others by offering gifts and sacrifices for sins 3) He deals gently with those who are ignorant and are going astray because he himself is subject to weakness. It was important for the priest to undersand the weakness of the people he was representing. In the same way, Jesus can be our priest and cleanse our sin because he too became weak just like you and I. The only difference is He did not sin. It was necessary that He not only represented us, but understood humanity fully. He is glad to represent us before the Father. I love 1 John 2:1,2 "I write this to you so you will not sin. But if anyone does sin, we have one who speaks to the Father in our defense - Jesus Christ, the Righteous One. He is the atoning sacrifice for our sins, and not only for ours but also for the sins of the whole world." I am blown away by the truth of this verse. Jesus actually DEFENDS us! Imagine what He tells the Father concerning you... It may sound something like this, "I know she screwed up, but look at her heart, she really loves you. I know who she is going to be in eternity and it looks much different. Her identity before me is not in her sin - it's in the fact that she will love me fully and completely and perfectly on day," or "I know he is struggling with that sin, but Father - my love covers a multitude of sin and I am perfectly able to keep him in my grace until he sees me face to face." Do you see Jesus like this? As the one who really defends you? Is that not amazing!!! (This is why it's so important we agree with the heart of Jesus about one another and not be the voice of accusation that comes from the enemy) He understands broken people and He realizes we are weak. He became one of us so He could fulfill these priestly responsibilities. This is why He deals gently with us - because He understands us in our weakness. This is why we should deal gently with one another. One who has encountered the love of God will always deal gently with others. When we encounter God's gentle heart, it seems to become a part of us as well. I love the gentleness of the heart of God and I'm so glad He deals with us gently, and not in ways we really deserve.
Hebrews 2:11 says, "...Jesus is not ashamed to call them brothers." It's talking about you and I - and all of humanity. Jesus is not ashamed of us. I wonder what the angels see and think when they see Jesus freely choosing to love broken people. He could have chosen to love the angels more than us. They are glorious. They are always worshipping. They are never distracted. Yet, Jesus freely chooses to love us in our brokeness. This is the heart of God - He loves to show mercy to those who don't deserve it. He loves to treat us in ways that we don't deserve. He is not hanging His head in disappointment about the human race. His heart is satisfied because He sees something much more than we see. Where we only see brokeness He has the ability to see beauty. Where we think our sin weighs more than our "good" things, He sees a small part in our heart that we sincerely love Him and to Him that outweighs all of the sin. He doesn't only see our love for Him, but next to our sin, our love for Him outweighs our sin. Jesus is not ashamed of us!!! He's not disappointed in us!!! HOORAY!!! He does not see you as you are right now. He sees you as you will be in eternity. This is how you are defined. We need to renew our minds in the love and nature of God so we can live in the freedom of His grace and acceptance. His love covers a multitude of sins! I'm so glad mine are covered! He loves us so much - more than we will ever know! I believe we will spend eternity learning about the depths of love that He has for us in His heart. Not only that, but we will bring much satisfaction to Him becasue we get to love Him in return. The love we will have in heaven will be something none of us have ever even began to touch or experience here on earth. That's why He is so moved by someone who chooses to love Him on the earth. We can't see Him, yet we love Him! ..and we don't have to wait until heaven...it begins now!

From Master to Husband - God's Divine Work in our Lives

I believe hidden in the heart of God is an unrelenting longing and desire for the hearts of His people. Now that might sound very shallow and we've all heard it before, but has this truth really penetrated us in a way that causes us to have an understanding of God's heart and the motive behind what He allows to happen to us in our lives?
I've been studying Hosea. It shows the struggle between Israel and God - His heart of love towards a people that are, what He calls, living like a prostitute. They are going after other loves and God creates certain obstacles in their lives that causes them to turn and love Him again. This can be seen in our lives as well. The fact is that God wants to be the very center and core of our lives. We can see a pattern of how God draws us back from the times that we turn from Him and give our hearts to other things. Let's look at it!
God tells the prophet Hosea to find and marry a prostitute. Can you imagine how crazy this must have sounded to Hosea? Not only did God want him to marry her, but to have children with her. God said this would be a sign of the love that He had for the nation of Israel. It is a picture of God's loves towards us as well. There are times in all of our lives that we seem to stray from God. Other things look better than God. They bring more pleasure to our lives, and at the time they satisfy our hearts - but only for a short time. For some of us it is outward sin that keeps pulling us away - the drawing of old patterns that sneak up from our past. For others it is finding ourselves in a place of boredom and apathy spiritually. We have fallen asleep on the inside and our hearts no longer have the fresh love and sincerity it once had. Yeah, we're going to church, but inside we are deader than roadkill on an Oklahoma highway. Both are dangerous and both are a reality in every person's life. No one on earth ever stops struggling in one or both of these two areas. It takes time and effort to keep our hearts tender before God. There are so many distractions - not necessarily bad distractions, that allure us away from our first love in Him. Hosea was married to Gomer the prostitute. They had kids together. They lived together. Yet, this was not good enough for God. He doesn't want us to be a live in roommate, He wants your heart. He doesn't want us to use Him for what we can get from Him that will bring properity to our lives - like the attitude of "what's in it for me." He wants a relationship with us like a picture of a healthy marriage - one that sticks through thick and thin because the bottom line is, the man and woman love each other. When another man or woman comes to draw us away from our one love, we will close the door real fast becasue our hearts are set on one love, our husband or wife. That's how God wants it. He wants our hearts, not just our money, our time, or showing up at church three times a week. That's not enough to satisfy the heart of God.
So God has a problem. He is in love with the nation of Israel, yet Israel no longer acknowledges Him. What does God do in our lives to draw us back when we are in this place? He shows how he works in the book of Hosea. In chapter 2:6,7 it says, "Therefore I will block her paths with thornbushes; I will wall her in so that she cannot find her way. She will chase after her lovers but not catch them; she will look for them but not find them. Then she will say, 'I will go back to my husband as at first, for then I was better of than now." He will block her path with thornbushes. Have you ever been on a path where life seems to be going great, and all of a sudden trouble seems to overtake you. Nothing is going right. Sometimes it's the enemy, but sometimes it's God drawing us back to Him - it's the discipline of the Father and His love wanting to woo us back to our first love. Psalms 139:5 says, "You hem me in behind and before; you have laid your hand upon me." There are times where God hems us in on every side. We cannot escape Him. I don't know where this verse is, but there is a verse that says, "All my fountains are in you." We all at different times drink from other fountains of pleasure. We are creatures of pleasure - we long for it, we look for the next best thing that will give our hearts pleasure. We are like this because are made in the image of God. God's heart is full of pleasure. But, He is a jealous lover and He wants our hearts to take pleasure in Him. Some may be reading this and think "oh great, what a life. Taking pleasure in God." But I believe in our generation God is releasing the pleasure of God's heart over us and the message that the fountain in His heart tastes better than any other fountain. We will be the generation that says, "All my fountains are in you." But, this won't come to the heart that is asleep in religion. It will come to those who are pursuing Him wholeheartidly with all they have. He will have the hearts of our generation.
Anyways, there are times that God "hems us in behind and before" and places thorns around our lives. The sinful pleasures that we were partaking of that brought us satisfaction are ripped away and there is nothing left. We thought life would stay that way forever, but it never does. We thought we'd be happy forever. When we give our hearts to other loves, we end up hurt, bitter, bruised, and broken. Hosea 2:8-13 speaks of how she didn't realize that the good things in her life (grain, new wine, wool, linen, etc) came from her husband. She thought she could live as a prostitute and still have those things. She wanted both worlds - the good things of a christian life, yet the pleasures of sin. When she gave into sin, she realized that she no longer had those things her husband provided. Instead, she was left with nothing. This is the perfect time when God steps into our lives. He creates the perfect timing that our eyes are opened to our sin and we realize that what we are partaking in is not as good as we thought - it can't satisfy us. So, we turn back to God - for we once loved Him in a way that was sincere. And there God is - with His arms open wide, ready to embrace and heal our wounded hearts. He was working in our lives the entire time, even when we were living like a prostitute. He was the one that caused trouble in our lives, not because He was mad, but because He is a lover - a jealous lover that wants our hearts. It is worth it to Him for us to go through trouble if it means He gets our hearts in the end. Can you see his love in your own life? May we view times of hardship differently - Song of Sol says that His banner over our life is love. Everything He allows in our live is because of love - it's His motive for allowing trouble and good into our lives. He wants our hearts in the end and someitmes He will cause divine trouble in our lives for that to occur. So if you've had a lot of trouble, you must be really loved!!!
I love this part. She is left with nothing. She has figured out that her sinful pleasures don't last forever and she is left hurt, broken, and bruised. Chpt 2:14 God speaks and says, "Therefore I am now going to allure her; i will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her." Awe yes...the desert times. In the desert there are no springs to drink from. There are no pleasures. Everything has been stripped from her life. It is during this time that God breaks in and speaks to her. He doesn't speak angrily such as, "Why the heck did you do that? You're a horrible...blah blah blah." Instead, He speaks to her tenderly. AWE!! I LOVE THIS ABOUT GOD! When someone returns to Him, He binds up there wounds. He speaks tenderness into their heart and heals them again with His love. This is how He brings someone back to Him, through lovingkindness. He then goes on and says, "There (in the desert) I will give her back her vineyards, and will make the Valley of Achor a door of hope." The VAlley of Achor literally means the valley of trouble. So God is saying over her that the time she just went through of trouble will end up being her hope. What does that mean? Her eyes have opened to what sin is and what it does in her life. She has tasted other streams and fountains and she knows what that leads her to - a broken and bruised heart. The very trouble that God allowed has brought her hope. She has an understanding of life now that she did not have before and she says yes to God again. God says after that, "There she will sing as in the days of her youth..." A heart that sings of His love. God has won her heart again. She will sing as she used to! In v. 16 it states, "In that day, declares the lord, you will call me 'husband,' you will no longer call me 'master.' I will remove the names of other gods from her lips..." She once called Him 'master.' God wants to bring us to a place where our view of God is as a lover, not as someone who is bringing rules into our lives that we have to follow. She saw Him as a master, not as a lover. Now that she has tasted other loves, she knows that His love for her is better. She now calls him husband. God wants our view of Him to be as the one who loves us, not as the one who disciplines us out of anger. He is a God of tenerdness and affection.
V. 19 says, "I will betroth you to me forever; I will betroth you in righteousness and justice, in love and compassion. I will betroth you in faithfulness and you will acknowledge the Lord." He was saying over her that His love she experienced is not just for a season - His promise for her of this kind of love was forever. She had experienced what she thought would be pleasure that lasted forever, but now she has found true pleasure in God's love for her, and it will never end. She had not been faithful, yet His promise to her was that He would faithfully love her forever. His compassion towards her would never end. He also promises at the end that she will acknowledge the Lord. In other words, she would know Him, she would have an undersatnding of His love and she would acknowledge it. It would no longer be just Him loving her, they would be in this thing together - she would love Him also.
Chapter 6:1 "Come let us return to the Lord. He has torn us to pieces but He will heal us; he has injured us but he will bind up our wounds...he will revive us."
No matter what the Lord has allowed to happen in our lives, there is a promise of restoration and healing. He doesn't want a part of us, He will allow divine things to occur in our lives that will shake us and transform us until we have an undersanding of God's heart of love for us. Desert times can be the best thing for us! Do you feel like you have been torn to pieces? It's time to return to the one who loves you - He has been a part of every season of our lives - the difficulties, the times we have not acknowledge Him, every part!

Unlearned Before God

I have just graduated from OU with my teaching certificate. I have a growing heart for children and feel I am more equipped than ever to work with children. That's what I thought, anyways. The Lord suprised me with what He thought about it... The other day the Lord spoke something out of the blue straight into my heart. It was one of those times that you know it was Him...it was not a thought I was thinking that I wondered maybe if it was Him. I knew He had spoken it to me. He told me plain and clear that before Him I was unlearned. WHAT? God, I have just graduated from OU! How can you think that? What else do you expect me to do!The next few days He began to speak to me concerning this...and I want to share it!
I truly believe that God is searching for a type of person to place His anointing and favor on for this day and time on the earth. I, like so many, look at my natural talents and abilities (graduating from OU, etc.) and think that it is those things that are preparing me and getting me closer to what God has for me. There is no doubt that God will use those types of things to prepare us (education, etc), but He is looking for much more than outward human wisdom in someone. He is looking at their heart. When we talk about a heart, what exactly do we mean? The Bible defines all sorts of different kinds of hearts that we can all have. Some are good, some are dangerous. Some of these include a grieved heart, willing heart, stirred heart, tender heart, pure heart, broken heart, hardened heart, wicked heart, proud heart, deceiful heart, bitter heart, wounded heart, and the list goes on and on... the fact is that God is looking for a certain type of heart. He isn't looking for a talented person, a smart person, a good lookin' person, a rich person, an experienced person, or anything else that we so often use to measure someone's importance and stature in life. These are all human standards, but what He is wanting to release to us is the very heart of heaven. It is so different than the system we live under. It is not in us naturally, but can only be developed through times of devotion and communion with the Lord. Like any good friend, He will rub off on us if we just spend some quality time with Him. This is what He wants. To share His heart. So what in the world does that look like?
Well I certainly don't feel like I know...I mean, the Lord Himself communicated to me that before Him I am unlearned. So the cry of my heart has been "teach me Lord...teach me about what is important to you. Teach me about what moves your heart - the things that you love. Let me love them." He wants to bring us to a very low place - a place of humility where we can hear what He hears and feel what He feels.
1 Corinthians 1 states, "I will destroy the wisdom of the wise; the intelligence of the intelligent I will frustrate. Where is the wise man? Where is the scholar? Has not God made foolish the wisdom of the world?...For the foolishness of God is wiser than man's wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than man's strength. Brothers, think of what you were before you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. He chose the lowly things of the world and the despised things - that things that are not to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before Him."
Notice the adjectives describing what God chooses in the world - foolish things, weak things, lowly things, despised things, things that are not. In this He is speaking of people. He chooses weak people, lowly people, despised people, people that are NOT the things that world would call someone to be chosen. God chooses the foolish things of the world. So, the invitation God has given us is that we would humble ourselves before Him and take on the very nature of Christ - the nature of a servant. The nature of someone whose heart breaks for the lowly of the earth - the orphans, the widows, the poor, the sick, the elderly, those that cannot help themselves. This is what God chooses - the foolish things of the world that everyone overlooks - this is the heart of God. I am so unlearned - and my cry is that God would teach me about His Kingdom - to love what He loves and to get His heart so much on the inside of me that He walks and talks through me with compassion, mercy and love flowing through my life.
In Matthew Jesus said the poor in spirit are blessed and that the Kingdom of God belongs to them. The calling of heaven is to become poor in spirit - to humble ourselves and take on the very nature of Christ - growing in compassion, growing in the knowledge of who Jesus is and His love and nature so that "they will know us by our love."
We must have a listening heart. I've quit asking God for things. I've asked God for things for years and He has gotten me to the place where I just listen. There is a time to ask and that's very biblical. But, in my life right now I feel He is calling me to listen to Him, to learn from Him - the greatest lover of mankind and in doing so, to get His heart. To sit at His feet as one that is unlearned - I don't know how to do it God...I have no idea, give me your heart! May His heart be what we are after - not ministries, not anything else. He is calling us to abide in Him - to be so near to Him that He can live through us. This is when we will see real fruit and the kingdom of God released on the earth! We will love the poor, love the orphans and widows, love the brokenhearted and we will bind up their wounds in His name!

The Call to Prayer...The Call to Love

It seems our generation is longing for something more than the weekly religious service and religious routine. There is a longing to really know Him - to know Jesus in an intimate way. There is a fresh cry in my heart towards prayer...not asking God for things, but waiting upon Him - giving Him my ear - leaning upon His heart and listening to what He wants. What do you want Jesus? What do you desire from us? We have spent time and effort doing our plans and programs...now, Lord...what is it that you desire? I want to be your friend, to listen to you - to hear your heart and feel what you feel. When someone cultivates this type of prayer - the prayer of waiting upon Him in humility and brokeness, bringing Him nothing but our empty hearts, He will respond. We need His heart in our day. He don't need another good sounding worhsip song or motivating speech. We need the Word of the Lord - we need to encounter Jesus in such a way that His purifying love ruins us for nothing more than the things that move His heart. The poor, the sick, those that can't help themselves. Justice! The oppressed, the abused, the lonely...that we would allow the Lord to bring us to such a low place that we can identify with others as He identified with us. It is not a time to think we know how to do it - it's a time to fall on our faces and cry out for God to bring His power and love in our day. Awaken our hearts Lord!
Another thing I've been thinking about how the Lord is jealous for the affections of our generation. He wants a heart connection with us - not just our outward actions, but a real heart connection - to where we know Him on the inside - we encounter Him in our hearts and emotions in such a way that we are changed by the reality of His love. He is an affectionate God and He is jealous over our affections -anything that we would lift our souls to other than Him He considers an idol. May we come back to the place of prayer and back to our first love in Jesus. It's anything but dry religion - it is a love that consumes and transforms the hardest hearts and satisfies the deepest longings of the human heart. Shake everything that can be shaken in our lives, Lord - it's time we put off EVERYTHING that hinders us - to find the place of prayer again...to give our time to Him - to have an urgency of the hour in which we live!!! To hear the cry from heaven for lovers to be raised up - who carry the heart and affection of heaven. Make us friends of God! Giving up everything - letting go of the past and pressing on to what you have for us Jesus! Set eternity in our hearts that we would be awakened to this calling Lord! Stir us up again!

We Satisfy Him

I have a simple, yet powerful fact about you and about God. God made the world and it says He was satisfied by what He saw - it was "good" in God's eyes. He looks at us in our fallen state and, becuase of His redeeming power, can still say with the same love and acceptance "Marci, you satisfy me heart. In my eyes you are good." Now I'm obviously not good in the sense of being perfect. I think when God said good, it's the kind of good that I say when I've bitten into a delicious warm chocolate chip cookie. (haha) It satisfies something in me. The fact is that we satisfy God's heart. He is a lover. When you think about a lover, that person is preoccupied by the person they love. God is preoccupied by you. We get His attention and we move His heart. Why? Becuase He is able to see us in the nature that we would have walked in if it were not for the fall. He is able to look past our sin and see us as we will be in eternity. Adam had such intimate communion with God and when He sinned that was shattered. But, because of the price Jesus paid for us, we are able to enter into that intimacy again. It's not about us trying to please Him, it's just about accepting the free gift and realizing that we will never be perfect until we see Him. He looks at us with such sincerity and say that we satisfy His heart - in His eyes we are good. This is who we really are - that is our real identity.

Rebels

I just read Isaiah 53. Read it if you have a Bible close by. I've read it before, but this time it seemed to have a lasting impact on me. The last verse states, "...he exposed himself to death. He was counted among the rebels. He bore the sins of many and interceded for rebels."
There is hope for a rebel. If you think about a rebel, most of the time people have given up on them. Often they are disowned by their families and freinds becuase they have chosen to walk a path that is different than the views of the people around them. They are often people that many have tried to help, but nothing seemed to come from it, so they are considered the ones that can't be helped. They have been given up on. They have been pushed aside. They have been overlooked and sometimes forgotten. Their entire identity is wrapped up in the things they have done wrong - they have been labeled by society. The overall feeling about that person is that they are helpless - too far into their own rebellion for positive change to occur. The definition it gives in the dictionary is, "a person who resists any authority, control, or tradition."
Get what this is saying SPECIFICALLY about rebels. First of all, Jesus was considered a rebel. He died a death that only rebels and criminals died. Good people didn't get crucified. Only criminals that were deserving of it. People saw Him as a rebel. It was important for Him to be considered a rebel because Jesus died for rebels. Jesus didn't die for good people. If He was really going to take our place, He had to become the worst of the worst...He had to die the worst death so He could cover a multitude of sins. In doing this, every person who will ever live and has lived will have the chance to be found righteous and made right before God. Again, He didn't die for good people. It SPECIFICALLY says He died for rebels. These include the ones everyone else has given up on, the ones that have destroyed their lives with the choices they have made, the ones whose lives are basically nothing but a mess.
This is who Jesus was and is. He loves rebels. He loves the difficult ones that seem to be making all the wrong choices. HE LOVES MESSED UP PEOPLE WITH A LOT OF ISSUES. He never gives up on them, never forgets about them, and never pushes them away. And He is perfectly able to love them into wholeness. Lord help us to love like you, to see you like you, to carry your heart and healing to the rebels of the world, just like you did for us.

Fasting is Our Friend

Yes, it's true. Fasting is indeed our friend. It's such an anceint practice and many people don't practice or understand the spiritual discipline of fasting today. I don't know a whole lot about it, but I'm finding that it works. If you are feeling far from the Lord, or that your heart seems to have a hardness or callousness on it that it did not have before, I recommend fasting. This was how I have been feeling the last few weeks, just not feeling the closeness to the Lord I had before. My heart was losing the tenderness and I had lost that simple love I had for the Lord. So I decided to go on a fast and it really does work. I don't know how it works, but it does. He is putting that tenderness and sensitivity to His presence upon my heart again and I love it. Tears are a gift. Not tears of depression, or even because we need something. Just the tenderness and realizing His goodness in our lives that causes us to be so soft that we cry before Him. It had been awhile since I cried. It feels good to have it back. Add a little fasting and prayer to your life. It does wonders.

Living and Loving Authentically

I would like to just simplify our lives for a moment. One reason is that I need a good reminder of it...another reason is maybe you do too. I think we make it much more difficult and stressful than it's supposed to be. It's easy to wake up one morning and find that your life in God has diminished...it's not just the same as it was. You didn't mean to. It just happened. Life got busy...maybe even good things are happening that seems to be taking up your time and energy and that hunger for God isn't there like it once was.
It's really amazing that we can simplify our lives down to two important things. In these two things which God says are most important - we find that it does not limit our lives - it actually energizes it because the most important things are centered around the most wonderful thing our hearts can ever experience on the earth. That thing is LOVE. Do we realize our relationship with God is and should be centered around love? I know many times mine is not. It may be centered on rules - trying to do the right thing. Or fear of not measuring up. But God's will for both you and I is that our hearts would be full of love for both God and others around us. He wants a sincere heart of love - one that is real, not just someone that can act the part. I've acted it plenty of times and I'd much rather be authentic.
So. The two most important things God says is to (1)Love God with all your heart and (2) Love others. That is so simple. It's around these two things that we should build our lives. Think about it - God doesn't give us a rule to live by, like "don't do ___________ and don't do _______________." He gave us an opportunity to experience the most incredible thing a heart on earth can experience, and that is love. Why did he choose this? Becuase that is who He is. To go even farther, in Corinthians, it says that we can be all of the imporatnt things as a christian, like having spiritual gifts, etc -- but if we dont have love we are a clanging symbol - just a bunch of noise. Has anyone but me felt like you're living a life of just a bunch of noise? Nothing of real depth or authenticity. You're doing the right things - going through the chrisitan motions, but it's shallow and it's become an outward motion, not so much something that is alive and real on the inside of you. I refuse to live like this, although I have plenty of times.
What does it take to not live like this? Well, quite simply, if love is God and comes from God, the only way we can become lovers of God and others is to dive into who God really is. The more we know about God, the more we will become like Him. I want to address the ugly thing in our Bible belt culture called the religious spirit. This is the most severe way we can live unauthentically. It's when we say somethign out of our mouths and it does not measure up in our lives. Now, we won't ever measure up to perfection, but God sees our heart - if it's rebelious and religious, or teachable in the midst of our struggles. A religious spirit easily looks and speaks down to others and doesn't realize his/her own struggles and weaknesses. They live an outward life, but inwardly they are evil and hypocritical. They look and act like a strong christian, but there is a whole hidden part on the inside of them. A good way to tell if someone is like this is how they treat others - if they are hard on others are merciful. This is huge in our culture. So how can we defend ourselves from becomign like this? We have to have an inward christian life - we have to work on our hearts - the place that true life flows from - the place we find our real selves. It's not in our actions and words, it's in the deep places of our hearts where we see who we really are. I dare you to do something that is dangerous. Be honest with yourself. What is in your heart? I know I am going through a season where God is stripping me - showing me all kinds of things that I didn't realize was inside of me. Why? Because I've asked Him to make me authentic - that my inner life and outer life would be the same - that I wouldn't be hipocritical, but a person of integrity. That's a dangerous thing to ask for because God will begin to show you all of the shadows in your heart that you don't relize are there. You'll begin to own the fact that you are prideful, bitter, unforgiving, hipocritical, a gossip, etc etc. It's a good thing to own it because until you do, you'll be blinded by your sin and God can't deal with something if you don't believe it's really in you. So, I'm opening my heart up and saying to God that I dont want to deny anything. As much as it is shocking and it hurts, I want to deal with those hidden sins and those things that are so ugly that I seem to push them away - or I just didn't realize they were there. God wants to deal with them because He wants us to be authentic - He wants us to love Him sincerely and love others sincerely.
One thing I am realizing about myself is how incredibally selfish I am. I didn't realzie this before, but God seems to be shining his light on me and revealing it. I'm sure it's always been there, but it's been hidden to me. It's a part of our human nature to be selfish, it can even look normal and have some sense about it. Look at Jesus' life. Peter asked Jesus to not go through the suffering that was before Him. Jesus' response was, "Get behind me satan." Peter was asking Jesus to not give himself for others - to save his life and not lose it. Jesus saw this as something that came from satan. Jesus gave His life - He did not keep anything for himself. This was the greatest act of love we will ever encounter. Sometimes selfishness can be human wisdom - we have got to be discerning and obediant to the path God has for us, even if it seems hard and unfair. May we not get caught up in our culture's view of life and miss out on the cross God has for us to walk under. Selfishness is when we want to fill our needs, when life is centered around fulfilling our wants and desires. Jesus did anything but this. It was the heart of heaven for Him to die. Some consider this harsh. Sometimes we think God is asking way too much of us - that He is even being harsh - but we dont see what he sees - we dont see the big picture. He wants to strip everthing from us - the things our culture has placed on us that we call "truth" may not be truth - if we realy want the heart of heaven, we better be ready to be different and expect others to not understand. What is he asking of you? Don't let your heart be offended. He is doing a work in you that, when it's completed, you will be rooted and grounded in His love and not in what our culture says life should be lived like. Walk into it - trust Him that He knows what is best for you. It hurts, but it is sooo good! Our culture says we are most important - it's about I, I, and I. Jesus says whoever saves His life will lose it and whoever loses His life for His sake will find it. May be we willing to lose our lives - to let go of what everyone says is important and find our lives in God.
It is my goal in life to be a better lover of God and a better lover of people. The past week I have relized I need to do some major changes in my schedule as far as how much time I am spending with the Lord. My time with Him has deminished some, and I refuse to live life not being sincere. For me, I am more sincere when I have spent time with the Lord and my heart is full of love for Him. It just automatically overflows into other people without me trying. Life is much better that way. I dont like living where I have to muster up niceness to the point that it is not real and sincere. I dont want to live that way.
So if you're like me, I encourage you to renew your time with the Lord. Let your goal in life to be to become a lover, not to make money or to be a mom, wife, husband, etc. When we put God first, all of the other things will come into alignment. Life will be much easier because we are living out of the grace He has called us to walk in every day. It does take a willingness to spend time with Him. Are we willing to go the extra mile to live our lives in God to the fullest? I say yes!