Yes, for the first time I have purchased my own new vehicle! It's a blue 2009 Dodge Journey...similar to an SUV. I am in love with it! Got a good deal on it and have absolutely no buyer's remorse. Sorry, but I don't have a picture yet. It's used, but very low on milage and much cheaper than if I would have bought it new. I was so glad to get rid of my '99 Oldsmobile Intrigue whose windows didn't roll down, CD player rarely worked, and mirrors never adjusted. I'm considering getting a car alarm since my car has been broken into TWICE in the past few months. But, they caught the group that broke into it the first time and stole several things. I was one of 80 victims (houses and cars being broke into). Glad they caught 'em, but still a little paranoid. LOVE my new car though!!
Now for the bad news...when they ran my credit, I found out my identity had been stolen way back in 2006 and someone from Tucson, AZ had put several things on there like car loans, etc. Thankfully it didn't affect me buying my car, but now I have to spend the time trying to clean up my credit. No fun...I'm so tired of my finances and credit being messed up! As some of you know, my I.D. was stolen back in March, so I already had some problem with identity theft. Now I have a completely different problem to take care of. Mean!!!
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Monday, July 20, 2009
The Heart of the Father for us!
Here is a glimpse into my life and what God has done in my heart. I hope you find it encouraging and know that if God feels this way about me, He certainly doesn't feel any less about you. He doesn't have any favorites - He loves each of us like we are all His favorites!! He is an amazing Father.
Growing up I was a normal kid. I was dirty most of the time from playing outside with the neighborhood kids. I was born in Colorado, but moved to Arizona when I was four. I lived there until I graduated highschool and moved to Oklahoma. Arizona made an interesting childhood. From 1st - 4th grade I lived about 15 minutes out of town in a small area of homes in the middle of a dessert. No kidd'n! My days were filled with climbing over the barbed wire fence located about 30 feet from my front gate. From there it was an endless adventure into the heated dessert where I would run from snakes, chase lizards, and build forts with my buddies.
I was the youngest of three sisters and always felt I could never measure up to them. They were a lot smarter than I was and seemed to be better than I was at most things. I was mostly clumsy and made a lot of mistakes that proved to be laughable by others. At a young age my self esteem slowly and steadily became low. I never thought I could measure up or do anything right. My heart posture didn't change much through the teen years. I wasn't depressed, suicidal, or having major emotional problems. I just didn't think I was anything really special or unique. I didn't have much self value and considered myself someone that was hidden in the day to day life of school. I just didnt see myself as someone that had anything special about me.
This is the most incredible truth that has struck my heart more than anything about how God feels about me. I know how it feels to be told for the first time that you are special, that you are loved, and that you are wanted. Don't get me wrong, my parents loved me well. But there are places in our hearts that only God can touch and heal. This was one of those deep, deep places that God touched with His healing embrace. The only way I can explain it is that it was like being an orphan waiting for someone to want me. I was waiting for someone to look at me and tell me who I was...that I wasn't forgotten and that I wasn't just another person living life with no real purpose. I wanted to be known, I wanted to be seen, and I wanted to be noticed. It was like being adopted into the most loving, the most wonderful embrace of a Father's arms. That embrace has brought much healing into my life. And as I realize more and more who the Father is, I can't help but share about what He has done in me. When He speaks over us and we hear Him, His voice is like a powerful force that breaks off every bit of neglect, abandonment, and rejection. Nothing can stay when the voice of my Father declares who I am. Yes, I have been adopted and it has changed my identity. It has changed the way I see myself. When the ugliness of rejection and the lie that says no one really cares rises up in me, I cling to my Father. I may not feel Him all the time, but I cling to His promise over my life. That promise is that I am loved, I am wanted, and He cherishes me. He says His thoughts about me are more than the sands on the seashore and those thoughts are all loving thoughts. They are full of affection and love and tenderness.
The other day I was feeling a bit depressed and wasn't really sure why. Depression is a tricky thing...sometimes we know the reason behind our depression, other times we don't. Finally after wallowing in it for awhile, I turned to the Lord. I layed on the floor of my room and all of a sudden His love began to wash over me and I just lost it...I cried and cried and cried. I bawled like a baby in the arms of my Daddy. As I cried, I felt the Lord tenderly saying over me, "I care about you, Marci. I really care about you." He just said it over and over and over again. Every time it was like His words were bringing deep healing to my heart. He began to show me situations and events in my life where I felt overlooked, where decisions were made without asking what I wanted, and where I didn't feel listened to. As I allowed the Father to hold me close to His heart, it was like He was telling me that He listened to me, that the things that were in my heart were important to Him, and He wanted my dreams to be fulfilled. His love washed over me and I rose from the floor a different person!
As we live life on this earth, we will have times where it gets the best of us. It is in those times that the Father just wants us to curl up on His lap and let Him love us. His heart beats with a love that is everlasting, a love that is so tender it can brake the hardest of hearts. He wants us to get to the point where we expect Him to love us because we know His heart and we know how He feels about us. When a child climbs in his/her Father's lap, they don't expect to be spanked. They expect to be embraced and loved. It's the same with God. We need a good extra-long time with our Father. Just Him and us. Let the tears come, let the hurts go, and let His love wash over us again.
Growing up I was a normal kid. I was dirty most of the time from playing outside with the neighborhood kids. I was born in Colorado, but moved to Arizona when I was four. I lived there until I graduated highschool and moved to Oklahoma. Arizona made an interesting childhood. From 1st - 4th grade I lived about 15 minutes out of town in a small area of homes in the middle of a dessert. No kidd'n! My days were filled with climbing over the barbed wire fence located about 30 feet from my front gate. From there it was an endless adventure into the heated dessert where I would run from snakes, chase lizards, and build forts with my buddies.
I was the youngest of three sisters and always felt I could never measure up to them. They were a lot smarter than I was and seemed to be better than I was at most things. I was mostly clumsy and made a lot of mistakes that proved to be laughable by others. At a young age my self esteem slowly and steadily became low. I never thought I could measure up or do anything right. My heart posture didn't change much through the teen years. I wasn't depressed, suicidal, or having major emotional problems. I just didn't think I was anything really special or unique. I didn't have much self value and considered myself someone that was hidden in the day to day life of school. I just didnt see myself as someone that had anything special about me.
This is the most incredible truth that has struck my heart more than anything about how God feels about me. I know how it feels to be told for the first time that you are special, that you are loved, and that you are wanted. Don't get me wrong, my parents loved me well. But there are places in our hearts that only God can touch and heal. This was one of those deep, deep places that God touched with His healing embrace. The only way I can explain it is that it was like being an orphan waiting for someone to want me. I was waiting for someone to look at me and tell me who I was...that I wasn't forgotten and that I wasn't just another person living life with no real purpose. I wanted to be known, I wanted to be seen, and I wanted to be noticed. It was like being adopted into the most loving, the most wonderful embrace of a Father's arms. That embrace has brought much healing into my life. And as I realize more and more who the Father is, I can't help but share about what He has done in me. When He speaks over us and we hear Him, His voice is like a powerful force that breaks off every bit of neglect, abandonment, and rejection. Nothing can stay when the voice of my Father declares who I am. Yes, I have been adopted and it has changed my identity. It has changed the way I see myself. When the ugliness of rejection and the lie that says no one really cares rises up in me, I cling to my Father. I may not feel Him all the time, but I cling to His promise over my life. That promise is that I am loved, I am wanted, and He cherishes me. He says His thoughts about me are more than the sands on the seashore and those thoughts are all loving thoughts. They are full of affection and love and tenderness.
The other day I was feeling a bit depressed and wasn't really sure why. Depression is a tricky thing...sometimes we know the reason behind our depression, other times we don't. Finally after wallowing in it for awhile, I turned to the Lord. I layed on the floor of my room and all of a sudden His love began to wash over me and I just lost it...I cried and cried and cried. I bawled like a baby in the arms of my Daddy. As I cried, I felt the Lord tenderly saying over me, "I care about you, Marci. I really care about you." He just said it over and over and over again. Every time it was like His words were bringing deep healing to my heart. He began to show me situations and events in my life where I felt overlooked, where decisions were made without asking what I wanted, and where I didn't feel listened to. As I allowed the Father to hold me close to His heart, it was like He was telling me that He listened to me, that the things that were in my heart were important to Him, and He wanted my dreams to be fulfilled. His love washed over me and I rose from the floor a different person!
As we live life on this earth, we will have times where it gets the best of us. It is in those times that the Father just wants us to curl up on His lap and let Him love us. His heart beats with a love that is everlasting, a love that is so tender it can brake the hardest of hearts. He wants us to get to the point where we expect Him to love us because we know His heart and we know how He feels about us. When a child climbs in his/her Father's lap, they don't expect to be spanked. They expect to be embraced and loved. It's the same with God. We need a good extra-long time with our Father. Just Him and us. Let the tears come, let the hurts go, and let His love wash over us again.
Thursday, July 2, 2009
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