Wise in His Eyes

Some say life gets easier when you get older. I agree that one usually gets wiser with age, but I think there are other aspects to getting older that aren't as great. Not that I'm old (go ahead, agree with me that I'm not old), but I am experiencing the last 8 months of my life in my 20's! I used to wonder what I would be doing right now. No more wondering!

In coming upon my 30th year of life, there is an urgency on the inside of me. The feeling is that I have maybe 30 or 40 years left. If I live the average amount of years of a human, I have possibly lived half of my life on the earth up to this point. I have one chance, one lifetime, one 70ish year span full of choices and decisions that will affect me personally forever. I hope this urgency that I feel today will still be on the inside of me when I'm experiencing the last 8 months of my 30s, the last 8 months in my 40s, the last eight months in my 50s, and so on. It is not an urgency of striving in my own ability to please God (I've had to learn this the hard way...I am the Queen of striving in my own strength), it is an urgency of desiring to please Him in EVERYTHING that I do - big or small. It is an urgency to live a life under the Lord's definition of wisdom. That I would lay aside the culture of my day and I would begin to live out the things that are important to His heart no matter the cost of my reputation or loss.

There is a hope in knowing that these 70 or so years are not the end-- that I am not just waisting my life in wondering hopelessly. There is indeed a great hope knowing it's just the beginning and that my choices in life right now are more important than I realize. One without the urgency and hope of something better than this is left with life's disappointments and wieghed down with the hopelessness of what this life alone has to offer. There will be a time when all the wrong things will be made right and when justice will shine like the sun. There is a time when we won't even know the feeling of depression, loneliness, fear, or worry. Our hearts weren't made to carry such things, but there will be a time when the wrong things will be made right and we will know Him who carried our sorrows and sufferings. In that moment every tear will be wiped away, every bad memory will disappear, every sorrow will leave in the presence of the one who carried our hurts. In one moment His love will heal us.

So, in the light of that, I want to live a life that is wise before the Lord. Though it may be uncomfortable now, I know He is wanting to teach us to live for what is coming - not for our temporary wants and comforts. Help us, Lord. Give us an eternal perspective that will carry us through the coming years with hearts that are not offended. May we live with the truth that every day is important to Him - every moment counts before the Lord.